My In-Laws Hate Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your husband chose you and chose to make a family with you. You might ask him if he truly believes that you are inferior and are going to hell. If so, I would simply say that you can no longer raise children with someone whose inherent beliefs disrespect and undervalue you as a person.

It is not healthy for you or for your children to be exposed to this level of toxicity.

I would ask him this. "Do you agree that I and my family are going to hell? Do you agree that my race/ethnicity is inferior to yours?" If the answer is yes, then clearly you need to divorce this guy. If the answer is no, ask, "Then why do you think it's okay for your family to tell me that?"

I had a boyfriend once whose parents were like this. Turned out, I knew the Bible better than they did, so every time they said something nasty, I just quoted verses back at them. I didn't endure two decades of Catholic education for nothing!

[Anonymous]

What did you expect? This is why you give careful consideration to the family you are marrying into.

[Anonymous]

My MIL hates me, OP. She actually loves to tell people (in her snide, petulant, immature and childish manner): "well, I just don't LIKE her..."

As if she is a bed of freaking roses. Except I keep my mouth shut about certain things, because we were raised VERY differently. For that, I am grateful.

I know I never did anything to MIL, and I know she has her own problems. But I'll be damned if I'm going to place my target in her sights. MIL hates herself, so that is her own problem.

OP, trust me when I tell you that chances are, it is NOT you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did you expect? This is why you give careful consideration to the family you are marrying into.

Meh. I didn't marry my MIL, that's for damn sure (not OP here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did you expect? This is why you give careful consideration to the family you are marrying into.

Meh. I didn't marry my MIL, that's for damn sure (not OP here).

You marry into a family, like it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did you expect? This is why you give careful consideration to the family you are marrying into.

Meh. I didn't marry my MIL, that's for damn sure (not OP here).

You marry into a family, like it or not.

My ILs don't affect me at all. They are jealous, nasty people, truth be told - who do not like anyone different from them. They are cold and insular. I have yet to hear them say a nice word about someone, unless (rather oddly) that person happens to be a total stranger. So no, I did not marry them - I married my husband, who suffered their wrath (without going into awful detail) for enough years. DH and I both are well aware of what kind of people they are, and how they treat others. He keeps them at arms length, and I don't bother with them any more, after decades of BS. My children certainly are not going to be treated the way DH was treated, that is for damn sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did you expect? This is why you give careful consideration to the family you are marrying into.

Meh. I didn't marry my MIL, that's for damn sure (not OP here).

You marry into a family, like it or not.

My ILs don't affect me at all. They are jealous, nasty people, truth be told - who do not like anyone different from them. They are cold and insular. I have yet to hear them say a nice word about someone, unless (rather oddly) that person happens to be a total stranger. So no, I did not marry them - I married my husband, who suffered their wrath (without going into awful detail) for enough years. DH and I both are well aware of what kind of people they are, and how they treat others. He keeps them at arms length, and I don't bother with them any more, after decades of BS. My children certainly are not going to be treated the way DH was treated, that is for damn sure.

Whatever. You need an anger management.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did you expect? This is why you give careful consideration to the family you are marrying into.

Meh. I didn't marry my MIL, that's for damn sure (not OP here).

You marry into a family, like it or not.

My ILs don't affect me at all. They are jealous, nasty people, truth be told - who do not like anyone different from them. They are cold and insular. I have yet to hear them say a nice word about someone, unless (rather oddly) that person happens to be a total stranger. So no, I did not marry them - I married my husband, who suffered their wrath (without going into awful detail) for enough years. DH and I both are well aware of what kind of people they are, and how they treat others. He keeps them at arms length, and I don't bother with them any more, after decades of BS. My children certainly are not going to be treated the way DH was treated, that is for damn sure.

Whatever. You need an anger management.

I don't think she needs anger management. If anything, you do PP. stop being so nasty!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did you expect? This is why you give careful consideration to the family you are marrying into.

Meh. I didn't marry my MIL, that's for damn sure (not OP here).

You marry into a family, like it or not.

My ILs don't affect me at all. They are jealous, nasty people, truth be told - who do not like anyone different from them. They are cold and insular. I have yet to hear them say a nice word about someone, unless (rather oddly) that person happens to be a total stranger. So no, I did not marry them - I married my husband, who suffered their wrath (without going into awful detail) for enough years. DH and I both are well aware of what kind of people they are, and how they treat others. He keeps them at arms length, and I don't bother with them any more, after decades of BS. My children certainly are not going to be treated the way DH was treated, that is for damn sure.

Whatever. You need an anger management.

I don't think she needs anger management. If anything, you do PP. stop being so nasty!

+1

PP here. Thank you so much ITA. I have accepted my ILs for the nasty people they are. Much like I have accepted the other PP as the nasty person she is. Some people are just not happy people. It is that simple. Thanks again, PP! Happy holidays - ignore the grinches.

[Anonymous]

OP: do not expect anything from people like your ILs, and you will not be disappointed. If anything, do not expect them to like you, because chances are, they do not like themselves. You are not going to change that. You are not going to magically make them happy people who enjoy life.

If you are happy and appreciate what you have (through your own hard work and experiences) - that probably pisses them off even more. Some people look for something to be nasty about. Avoid them, like the plague they are.

[Anonymous]

So, OP, you married your H knowing exactly what he and his parents believed, and now you're angry that they've been consistent about their beliefs?

You do realize that's YOUR fault, don't you?

[Anonymous]

OP: Have you ever considered the possibility, unlikely as it may seem, that the inlaws are correct, and you are going to hell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your husband have penis? You might want to ask him if he lost his. A real man who loved his wife would stand up for her and end this nonsense about going to hell. The fact that your husband doesn't stand up for you is a red flag.

Ha! Don't waste your time going to you DH OP. If he hasn't stood up for you by now he never will. You need to stick up for yourself. The next time they say something you need to address it right away. Let them know it's hurtful and inappropriate it's not working for you and they need to stop. Then smile at them and start talking about "this crazy weather we've been having". Do that every time and they will stop. You are driving yourself nuts because you are waiting for someone to do something he is clearly unwilling to do. I speak from experience.

[Anonymous]

If your DH will not go to counseling, you should go yourself. Talk with someone who will help you figure out how to stand up for yourself--someone who will role play scenarios with you to help you understand how to talk to your In Laws and your husband as well. DO NOT BE A DOORMAT and show that example to your children.

[Anonymous]

OP -- you should have seen this coming. My parents were different religions...dad was Jewish and mom was Catholic. I would not recommend it. Stick with your own kind -- it's much better.