My dad doesn't think I should be working

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I would ask him if his concern was that my child was at his home 2x a month? Or is it a broader philosophical objection?

If the former, stop sending your child there. If the latter, feel free to ignore.

Child isn't in his home 2X a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I would ask him if his concern was that my child was at his home 2x a month? Or is it a broader philosophical objection?

If the former, stop sending your child there. If the latter, feel free to ignore.

Child isn't in his home 2X a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few questions: How long are your 2x a month travel trips? Why can't the nanny travel with you? What will you do when your child is school age? Where is the father in all of this?

WTF? every time she has a business trip she is suppoosed to pay another airfare for her child and nanny? That is absurd? (Who that works for a living makes that kind of money?)

OP here. Sometimes I buy the nanny's ticket. Sometimes I use miles. Sometimes the nanny stays home and my mom buys her ticket or I use miles for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hm, I wonder if OP's dad thinks she is tkaing advantage of your mother. It sounds like you just swan in, drop the kid off and say "oh, grandma loves it." Maybe grandma doesnt have the heart to tell you what your dad is telling you.

Just saw this. A few months ago, DC did stay home with DH, and I heard about it. "Don't you need me anymore? I sure miss my grandkids." I don't think this is the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that working is a scapegoat. He doesn't want to deal with your kid several times a month. Or, he doesn't like the change to the household (wife paying him less attention, etc) when your kids is there. It isn't PC to say that he doesn't want your kid at his house.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

This is something he needs to take up with your mum so she can shut him up.

[Anonymous]

Your spouse should care for his kid when he can. Whether that offends your mom or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few questions: How long are your 2x a month travel trips? Why can't the nanny travel with you? What will you do when your child is school age? Where is the father in all of this?

WTF? every time she has a business trip she is suppoosed to pay another airfare for her child and nanny? That is absurd? (Who that works for a living makes that kind of money?)

She is already paying airfare for her mother to come to her or taking her and her DC to her mother in Chi town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse should care for his kid when he can. Whether that offends your mom or not.

+1

[Anonymous]

It's clearly not the childcare issue, since OP has said her child has only been there 6 days this year.

OP, I would tell your dad that you are working and it's not up for discussion. It is a normal thing for adult humans to work. Next time he brings it up I would end the conversation and/or leave. Set a boundary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's clearly not the childcare issue, since OP has said her child has only been there 6 days this year.

OP, I would tell your dad that you are working and it's not up for discussion. It is a normal thing for adult humans to work. Next time he brings it up I would end the conversation and/or leave. Set a boundary.

This. Just tell him "Dad, I like working and I want to work, so I don't appreciate hearing from you how I should stay at home. I have no intention of staying at home. If it's a problem that Mom stays with Larlo sometimes, we can work out other arrangements. But if the only problem is that you don't like the fact that I work, then that's too bad."

[Anonymous]

1. You do need to find out if this is really coming from your mom watching the kid (if they live together). My dad has let me know that watching my son for days was tough on her. I had let her do it because I thought she loved it. It was once a year and I was home by 5, but I guess it was still too much for her. Its tough because she offers to watch him all the time and I really don't know what to do. I can't tell her what my dad said because she'll get mad at him. But my greatest concern with him watching my son is she won't admit when it is too much. So my dad has let me know - it is too much.

2. My mom was horrified when I went to work part-time when my son was born. As in, I didn't work full-time. She worked part-time until I was in K. But in her mind she was "forced" to do so, so I was ridiculous for not taking full advantage of being able to go back after a short maternity leave and work full-time. My point is that parents are biased with their own life experiences. Do what is right for your family. If you didn't work, someone would judge you for that also.

[Anonymous]

I am a working mom .Mother of two . I have been working since I was very young 13 at my mothers friends bakery. i keep working now I got marry have kids keeps working .i enjoy work. when I did not work because of maternity leave , i felt useless. I have a lot of savings , I don't even talk about to my hos ban. I feel that I am capable of holding his back if something happen to him I also feel very independent ,I am not afraid of life. I don't have a parents . They pas away when I was very young. They where not old ether. So I don't have anybody who tell me not to work. I manage to take care of the kids and work.