Going on family vacation while having an affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Discreet is the word you people are looking for, not "discrete."

Discrete means "individually separate and distinct" which, if you think about it, could actually be the result of your discreet activities. Or indiscretions, if you will.

Thank you. Thank you. Faith in humanity is restored.

[Anonymous]

I realized how much I despised the very presence of my then DH and initiated divorce whrn we returned home. Married to my DH (former AP) 2yrs now.

Sometimes it takes twice.

[Anonymous]

^^^sorry, married 17yrs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure I'll get skewered.

I was engaged in what I now realize was an emotional affair. Going on vacation with my husband and child was what made me recognize it for what it was: being unable to reconnect with my husband, missing my "friend" etc. I told my husband about the EA when we returned home and we separated a week later.

So after he said good riddance, what eventually happened?

We got divorced, amicably and without anyone saying "good riddance" to anyone else, and went on to have a cordial coparenting relationship.

Oh sure I'm certain everything was just marvelous for all involved especially your innocent child. But who asked him/ her about their feelings anyway?

Hopefully the ex DH found someone worth getting involved with vs. a cheater.

Why are piling on the PP? Clearly, the marriage wasn't a happy one, and she told her husband before the affair progressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are messed up. Truly messed up. How can you live with yourself?

If you are that miserable with your spouse but unequipped to end it, then you have two options that would allow you to salvage your dignity:

(1) work on your marriage; or

(2) be honest with your spouse and ask for an open marriage until you two can officially separate.

In a perfect world, simply "working on your marriage" would resurrect your sex life" In a perfect world, a low sex or asexual spouse would be empathetic to not meeting reasonable sexual needs and agree on a compromise outside of the marriage.

In the real world, the choice is between divorce and losing access to kids part time, messing up finances, putting kids through trauma of divorce, or discretely getting reasonable sexual needs met outside the home.

My vows included this whole thing about "for better for worse" and "forsaking all others." Because I am a person of integrity, who believes being true to my character is essential, the fact that my DH has a lower sex drive than I do is entirely irrelevant. Marriage isn't just about sex, you know. You need to take the good with the bad, or else divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure I'll get skewered.

I was engaged in what I now realize was an emotional affair. Going on vacation with my husband and child was what made me recognize it for what it was: being unable to reconnect with my husband, missing my "friend" etc. I told my husband about the EA when we returned home and we separated a week later.

So after he said good riddance, what eventually happened?

We got divorced, amicably and without anyone saying "good riddance" to anyone else, and went on to have a cordial coparenting relationship.

Oh sure I'm certain everything was just marvelous for all involved especially your innocent child. But who asked him/ her about their feelings anyway?

Huh? nP here. I'm a product of divorced parents and I am not bitter about it at all. My parents needed to separate for all of us to have a healthy life. It's not always a bad thing.

Amen. If my parents hadn't divorced when I was young, my life would have been a disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realized how much I despised the very presence of my then DH and initiated divorce whrn we returned home. Married to my DH (former AP) 2yrs now.

Sometimes it takes twice.

Whenever I hear stories like this, I feel like taking the new husband aside and saying, "dude, if she cheated on the first one don't you realize she could do the same to you? Sure, anyone could cheat be she has a track record. Or maybe he's thinking with his pecker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realized how much I despised the very presence of my then DH and initiated divorce whrn we returned home. Married to my DH (former AP) 2yrs now.

Sometimes it takes twice.

Whenever I hear stories like this, I feel like taking the new husband aside and saying, "dude, if she cheated on the first one don't you realize she could do the same to you? Sure, anyone could cheat be she has a track record. Or maybe he's thinking with his pecker.

You sound really immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realized how much I despised the very presence of my then DH and initiated divorce whrn we returned home. Married to my DH (former AP) 2yrs now.

Sometimes it takes twice.

Whenever I hear stories like this, I feel like taking the new husband aside and saying, "dude, if she cheated on the first one don't you realize she could do the same to you? Sure, anyone could cheat be she has a track record. Or maybe he's thinking with his pecker.

Or maybe he knows what it takes to keep his woman happy.

Unlike you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realized how much I despised the very presence of my then DH and initiated divorce whrn we returned home. Married to my DH (former AP) 2yrs now.

Sometimes it takes twice.

Whenever I hear stories like this, I feel like taking the new husband aside and saying, "dude, if she cheated on the first one don't you realize she could do the same to you? Sure, anyone could cheat be she has a track record. Or maybe he's thinking with his pecker.

You sound really immature.

On the other hand, when two cheaters get together it hardly seems like a good bet to wager on fidelity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realized how much I despised the very presence of my then DH and initiated divorce whrn we returned home. Married to my DH (former AP) 2yrs now.

Sometimes it takes twice.

Whenever I hear stories like this, I feel like taking the new husband aside and saying, "dude, if she cheated on the first one don't you realize she could do the same to you? Sure, anyone could cheat be she has a track record. Or maybe he's thinking with his pecker.

You could take him aside and say that, but he clearly already knows, since he was there. No one who is remarried is unaware about the frequent failure of second (or third) marriages.

[Anonymous]

I cannot answer this question adequately because I have never cheated on anyone.