Going on family vacation while having an affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AP would want sex right before and right after vacations. He would have sex with the partner sometimes on vacation, but not always.

+1
Sometimes I would get so pissed about their vacations I'd refuse. Now they no longer go on vacations.

[Anonymous]

You people are messed up. Truly messed up. How can you live with yourself?

If you are that miserable with your spouse but unequipped to end it, then you have two options that would allow you to salvage your dignity:

(1) work on your marriage; or

(2) be honest with your spouse and ask for an open marriage until you two can officially separate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are messed up. Truly messed up. How can you live with yourself?

If you are that miserable with your spouse but unequipped to end it, then you have two options that would allow you to salvage your dignity:

(1) work on your marriage; or

(2) be honest with your spouse and ask for an open marriage until you two can officially separate.

Blah Blah Blah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are messed up. Truly messed up. How can you live with yourself?

If you are that miserable with your spouse but unequipped to end it, then you have two options that would allow you to salvage your dignity:

(1) work on your marriage; or

(2) be honest with your spouse and ask for an open marriage until you two can officially separate.

Blah Blah Blah.

Nice comeback...but I suppose that's the best you can do when your genitals do your thinking for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are messed up. Truly messed up. How can you live with yourself?

If you are that miserable with your spouse but unequipped to end it, then you have two options that would allow you to salvage your dignity:

(1) work on your marriage; or

(2) be honest with your spouse and ask for an open marriage until you two can officially separate.

Agree. Rationalizing the affair is a crutch for losers. If your marriage isn't working, fix it or leave it. To stay in it and screw someone else is cowardly and trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are messed up. Truly messed up. How can you live with yourself?

If you are that miserable with your spouse but unequipped to end it, then you have two options that would allow you to salvage your dignity:

(1) work on your marriage; or

(2) be honest with your spouse and ask for an open marriage until you two can officially separate.

In a perfect world, simply "working on your marriage" would resurrect your sex life" In a perfect world, a low sex or asexual spouse would be empathetic to not meeting reasonable sexual needs and agree on a compromise outside of the marriage.

In the real world, the choice is between divorce and losing access to kids part time, messing up finances, putting kids through trauma of divorce, or discretely getting reasonable sexual needs met outside the home.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I went on vacation while he was having an affair thar I didn't know about. He and I had a wonderful time, sex every night, a romantic dinner and even skinny dipping.

He is lying to you, OP. Don't you think you deserve more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are messed up. Truly messed up. How can you live with yourself?

If you are that miserable with your spouse but unequipped to end it, then you have two options that would allow you to salvage your dignity:

(1) work on your marriage; or

(2) be honest with your spouse and ask for an open marriage until you two can officially separate.

In a perfect world, simply "working on your marriage" would resurrect your sex life" In a perfect world, a low sex or asexual spouse would be empathetic to not meeting reasonable sexual needs and agree on a compromise outside of the marriage.

In the real world, the choice is between divorce and losing access to kids part time, messing up finances, putting kids through trauma of divorce, or discretely getting reasonable sexual needs met outside the home.[/quote

Or you could be honest and ask for an open marriage.]

[Anonymous]

When I went on vacation during my affair it actually made me realize even more why I needed to be divorced. We fought the entire time because my spouse was miserable and virtually destroyed everything that should have been "fun", which is usually the case with most things. Nothing is enjoyable. There was no reconnecting going on, just a wedge being driven in further.

[Anonymous]

While on vacation, I realized I didn't want to be with my husband (who was an insufferable narcissist) or my AP (who sent me whiney emails every hour asking me if I was having sex with my husband).

I returned home, separated from my husband, broke up with my AP, and spent a long time trying to figure out why I had such awful taste in men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did your desire for AP grow and intensify from lack of contact and communication? Or did your lust for AP wean and found yourself reconnecting with spouse?

you meant 'wane' not 'wean' but you were thinking with your 'weaner'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While on vacation, I realized I didn't want to be with my husband (who was an insufferable narcissist) or my AP (who sent me whiney emails every hour asking me if I was having sex with my husband).

I returned home, separated from my husband, broke up with my AP, and spent a long time trying to figure out why I had such awful taste in men.

Best answer of the thread. Good for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did your desire for AP grow and intensify from lack of contact and communication? Or did your lust for AP wean and found yourself reconnecting with spouse?

Worried that your affair partner will reconnect with their spouse while on vacation? Feeling insecure?

Perhaps

Ha ha. No doubt about it. OP is worried that her (I'm assuming it's a her) AP will have a great time with his wife. Enjoy that, OP!

Why do you assume it's a woman?

Because women hope their AP leaves their wife and man dread the day their AP leaves their husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are messed up. Truly messed up. How can you live with yourself?

If you are that miserable with your spouse but unequipped to end it, then you have two options that would allow you to salvage your dignity:

(1) work on your marriage; or

(2) be honest with your spouse and ask for an open marriage until you two can officially separate.

In a perfect world, simply "working on your marriage" would resurrect your sex life" In a perfect world, a low sex or asexual spouse would be empathetic to not meeting reasonable sexual needs and agree on a compromise outside of the marriage.

In the real world, the choice is between divorce and losing access to kids part time, messing up finances, putting kids through trauma of divorce, or discretely getting reasonable sexual needs met outside the home.

I agree with this completely. Also with the discrete satisfying sexual needs elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Discreet is the word you people are looking for, not "discrete."

Discrete means "individually separate and distinct" which, if you think about it, could actually be the result of your discreet activities. Or indiscretions, if you will.