When can I bring up the issue of texting/calling frequency?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are technically still married, why are you dating? For crying out loud, is there one person in this town who doesn't have to be attached to someone 100% of the time?

She's serving as a parasite in one relationship while trying to find a host in another...

+1

Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people never pick up the phone anymore? When I was out there dating 15 years ago, obviously there was no texting but phone conversations were a way to deepen the connection between dates. Does that just not happen anymore, even when the relationship is moving forward?

I think some people just aren't into texting so it doesn't necessarily mean he's not into you, OP. How are your dates?
Do you get the sense that you're connecting wmotionally or does it seem to be more about fun, and sex?

The dates are fine-they are what I need them to be at the moment. Not more-not less. There is a lot of awkwardness to them but it has been acknowledged that it is due to chemistry. He does keep his distance but we are both working our way out of divorces so it is understandable. He is a very typical frat type guy from the army and seems to operate by dating rules I spent my 30s avoiding. So I wonder if there is any truth to that rubber band effect that one of the PPs brought up.

why on earth are you having sex with him?

I was wondering that too. Do you guys get drunk and then hook up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people never pick up the phone anymore? When I was out there dating 15 years ago, obviously there was no texting but phone conversations were a way to deepen the connection between dates. Does that just not happen anymore, even when the relationship is moving forward?

I think some people just aren't into texting so it doesn't necessarily mean he's not into you, OP. How are your dates?
Do you get the sense that you're connecting wmotionally or does it seem to be more about fun, and sex?

The dates are fine-they are what I need them to be at the moment. Not more-not less. There is a lot of awkwardness to them but it has been acknowledged that it is due to chemistry. He does keep his distance but we are both working our way out of divorces so it is understandable. He is a very typical frat type guy from the army and seems to operate by dating rules I spent my 30s avoiding. So I wonder if there is any truth to that rubber band effect that one of the PPs brought up.

why on earth are you having sex with him?

No, we usually go on a date or a walk. We have fun together. But I do get giddy and he does mock me for that.


I was wondering that too. Do you guys get drunk and then hook up?

[Anonymous]

Could he be possibly dating others as well? Have you two discussed it?

When together you can tell him that you enjoy his company and that when you two cannot see each other, it would be nice to hear from him more often.

If he likes you as much as you like him, then that should not be an issue afterwards.

[Anonymous]

It does sound like you're marching to different drum beats. What do you mean when you say chemistry makes things awkward? I'm not getting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could he be possibly dating others as well? Have you two discussed it?

When together you can tell him that you enjoy his company and that when you two cannot see each other, it would be nice to hear from him more often.

If he likes you as much as you like him, then that should not be an issue afterwards.

We haven't discussed that but we are at the point where I feel like it would be ok for me to say that i wouldn't be comfortable if he was seeing other people. I don't think he is based on what he tells me but again, anything is possible.

[Anonymous]

Why are you going out with him? It doesn't sound like you're really that into him. I would suggest go on dates with other people, or just taking time for yourself. It's easy to feel a lot of pressure to find someone new when you are divorcing (particularly if your ex has already done so), and it's easy to end up with someone who isn't quite right for you. Nothing you've said about this guys makes him sound right for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could he be possibly dating others as well? Have you two discussed it?

When together you can tell him that you enjoy his company and that when you two cannot see each other, it would be nice to hear from him more often.

If he likes you as much as you like him, then that should not be an issue afterwards.

We haven't discussed that but we are at the point where I feel like it would be ok for me to say that i wouldn't be comfortable if he was seeing other people. I don't think he is based on what he tells me but again, anything is possible.

He's seeing other people. Highly unlikely that he's not. You should be open to seeing others as well. Considering he's going through a divorce, he's probably enjoying the non-exclusive benefit of singlehood. He thought you would understand, but keeps his distance since he knows you like him more and will eventually want exclusivity.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe he is still getting over his marriage, likes the OP, but isn't ready to open up to a new woman. Everybody moves on at a different pace. Could be he really loved his ex and is trying to work through it.

[Anonymous]

Just out of curiosity, which online site did you meet him on & how old is he? He sounds like someone I'm seeing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just out of curiosity, which online site did you meet him on & how old is he? He sounds like someone I'm seeing?

Op-he is 40 and I met him on ok Cupid. Same guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just out of curiosity, which online site did you meet him on & how old is he? He sounds like someone I'm seeing?

Op-he is 40 and I met him on ok Cupid. Same guy?

No, mine is tinder and in his 50s