About to turn 54 and I'm having a wave of sadness and depression

[Anonymous]

I'm OP. I have 2 masters degrees. One for my first career. Another for my second career. I got one at age 30 the other at 45. Both fully funded by fellowships I applied to and write proposals for. No expense or debt owed. I certainly don't view them as collecting marbles nor about being ungrounded in early life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - sorry to hear this. I think you are on the right track identifying the areas that make you feel down and depressed.
Along with diet and exercise i would also recommend starting to reach out to friends you have lost touch with and rebuilding the emotional networks. All of life's knocks are easier to deal with when there is a supportive network.
Good luck and you are not alone

Yes, to the supportive network. I am feeling that I'm isolated. Friends take effort and time and I'm often so exhausted I don't have enough energy--especially if the relationship is already surface. I don't mean to sound snobby or judgmental, but for example, I don't really want to keep up with the "friend" who is divorced for the 3rd time, who just met a man online (dating site) who has told her he loves her and is writing her love poems (even though they haven't met) and is asking her to wire him money to Malila where he works in a diamond mine (no exaggeration). She's already overnighted him an unlocked ipad. It just makes me shake my head and think I'd be better off taking a nap. When I meet someone who I think is interesting, I reach out to them, but it seems (it could be my imagination) that people my age have their friends and relationships established and are in patterns they aren't going to adjust for or add to. Do others find this to be true? If not, how does it happen differently?

[Anonymous]

Didn't read the entire thread. My advice? Take one step at a time. Don't try to turn your life around all at once. It's an overwhelming thought and will be impossible to achieve. Start by cutting back on refined carbs, taking long walks, etc... Get your teeth cleaned, whitened and practice smiling at yourself in the mirror. Fake it until you make it (feel better about yourself).

[Anonymous]

You don't need to feel obligated to spend time with friends who drain your energy. Focus on yourself and treat yourself well. I agree with PP, take one baby step at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm the mom of an SN child who has significant medical and developmental disabilities and I just want to say that you are experiencing years of stress that not many people can understand. It's relentless. I want to laugh at the person who said you don't have enough to do! Ha! Taking care of a high needs kid means you sometimes have to lose yourself, because there's just not enough real time AND mental time to devote to yourself. I second Jill's House. Therapy is good and please talk to a psychiatrist about some meds to help out. Good luck.

+1. I have an 11 yo with bipolar disorder who has been in and out of hospitals for several years and is currently on homebound school and 2 younger children to care for. I have PCOS and I'm now topping 200 lbs. OP, I feel for you, I do, I know exactly how you feel. Wellbutrin helps me get out of bed in the morning but its not a cure-all. The weight loss feels insurmountable. Its hard to muster the emotional energy to care frankly. Just wanted to post that there is someone out there who knows exactly how you feel without criticizing.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you tried Leslie Sansone walk from home program? Just 15 minutes a day is 1 mile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you tried Leslie Sansone walk from home program? Just 15 minutes a day is 1 mile.

Never heard of it. Will look. I need a plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm the mom of an SN child who has significant medical and developmental disabilities and I just want to say that you are experiencing years of stress that not many people can understand. It's relentless. I want to laugh at the person who said you don't have enough to do! Ha! Taking care of a high needs kid means you sometimes have to lose yourself, because there's just not enough real time AND mental time to devote to yourself. I second Jill's House. Therapy is good and please talk to a psychiatrist about some meds to help out. Good luck.

+1. I have an 11 yo with bipolar disorder who has been in and out of hospitals for several years and is currently on homebound school and 2 younger children to care for. I have PCOS and I'm now topping 200 lbs. OP, I feel for you, I do, I know exactly how you feel. Wellbutrin helps me get out of bed in the morning but its not a cure-all. The weight loss feels insurmountable. Its hard to muster the emotional energy to care frankly. Just wanted to post that there is someone out there who knows exactly how you feel without criticizing.

Thank you for your relating and empathy. Yes, your life is stressful behind what anyone could know unless they are living your life. Thinking of you and I hear you.

[Anonymous]

OP, I know this doesn't answer your question, but I salute you taking care of an adopted, special needs kid. God bless you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you tried Leslie Sansone walk from home program? Just 15 minutes a day is 1 mile.

Never heard of it. Will look. I need a plan.

Search on YouTube for free videos to try it out. You might be surprised how quickly walking for 15 to 50 minutes a few times a week will help you feel better and the pounds might come off too.

[Anonymous]

Kudos to those who were kind enough to write helpful suggestions and/or kind words to this woman going through a very difficult time.

To those of you who offered patronizing advice and unkind words, what is wrong with you? Is it really necessary to kick someone who is down? Someone you have no reason to have any animus towards? As you ar

[Anonymous]

As readers of this website, one would assume you area parent. Is this really what you taught/want to teach your children?

Be kind one to another ....