Parents: What is the longest time you would feel comfortable leaving your children for a trip?

[Anonymous]

At that age, I'd do maximum of a week.

And honestly, my kid is 4.5, and DH and I have gone on one trip without him, for two nights. We have each gone on trips separately without him.

[Anonymous]

I have to take a two week international business trip next month. DS is 6 and I am sad thinking about it. He and I have been a part a week at a time before. Never 2 but we'll be ok.

Do what you need to do OP.

Lots of skype and lots of extra hugs before and after.

[Anonymous]

I once left my 4 year old for a weekend and it did not go well. So I never did it again.

[Anonymous]

I think there's a happy medium between 2 days and 3 weeks. You are certainly not a bad person for wanting a getaway with your spouse to reconnect and travel in a way that is more difficult with small children. A weekend is nice but may not give you time to actually relax or go somewhere you really want. That said 3 weeks does sound rather long. We did a couple 4-5 day trips when ours were 2, then 5 and 2. When they were 7 and 4 we did a 8 day trip for our 10th anniversary. We were glad to get back to them at the end but enjoyed our time. They had a great time with their grandparents! So I think around a week is pretty reasonable for all involved.

[Anonymous]

10 days but the kids were with Dad, at home.

I've never left them in the care of relatives for many reasons. IF I did, 5 days tops.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the combination of relatives. We did 4-5 days with kids at home in their regular routine watched by grandparents and it was great for all involved - we got some much needed couple vacation time, kids got bonding time with grandparents and were on their normal schedule so it was pretty easy, and I got 4 days of desperately needed relief from primary caregiving duty. I was absolutely a better mom for the respite. I think they were almost 2 and 4 at the time.

We have both been gone from kids for longer when solo and a week or two is absolutely no problem when the kids are home with their other parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to take a two week international business trip next month. DS is 6 and I am sad thinking about it. He and I have been a part a week at a time before. Never 2 but we'll be ok.

Do what you need to do OP.

Lots of skype and lots of extra hugs be fore and after.

Op here. DH has a two week business trip. I was going to go with him. The two weeks will be pretty intense, with events til 9 or 10 pm and so forth. We were going to go for some solo time after.

It's been 7 yrs since we have taken a trip internationally, although we did take 4 days to a resort a few years ago.

Our marriage is on the rocks and we thought this would help.

But I can't stomach being apart from the kids this long.

Its far enough away that it's not really worth going for just the week together. You'd barely get over the jet lag before it would be time to go home.

Glad to have the responses here. As outlandish as some of them were, I totally feel the same way. We bought the tickets a long long time ago when it was all very abstract... As the dates get closer, I wake up in the middle of the night stressing about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to take a two week international business trip next month. DS is 6 and I am sad thinking about it. He and I have been a part a week at a time before. Never 2 but we'll be ok.

Do what you need to do OP.

Lots of skype and lots of extra hugs be fore and after.

Op here. DH has a two week business trip. I was going to go with him. The two weeks will be pretty intense, with events til 9 or 10 pm and so forth. We were going to go for some solo time after.

It's been 7 yrs since we have taken a trip internationally, although we did take 4 days to a resort a few years ago.

Our marriage is on the rocks and we thought this would help.

But I can't stomach being apart from the kids this long.

Its far enough away that it's not really worth going for just the week together. You'd barely get over the jet lag before it would be time to go home.

Glad to have the responses here. As outlandish as some of them were, I totally feel the same way. We bought the tickets a long long time ago when it was all very abstract... As the dates get closer, I wake up in the middle of the night stressing about it.

OP sounds like you need the trip together and I wonder if bailing out might hurt your DH? Could you meet your spouse there for 7-10 days after (so kids would not be without you for 3 weeks) or meet somewhere "in the middle" for 5-7 days.

[Anonymous]

Why would you have bought tickets without thinking it through?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to take a two week international business trip next month. DS is 6 and I am sad thinking about it. He and I have been a part a week at a time before. Never 2 but we'll be ok.

Do what you need to do OP.

Lots of skype and lots of extra hugs be fore and after.

Op here. DH has a two week business trip. I was going to go with him. The two weeks will be pretty intense, with events til 9 or 10 pm and so forth. We were going to go for some solo time after.

It's been 7 yrs since we have taken a trip internationally, although we did take 4 days to a resort a few years ago.

Our marriage is on the rocks and we thought this would help.

But I can't stomach being apart from the kids this long.

Its far enough away that it's not really worth going for just the week together. You'd barely get over the jet lag before it would be time to go home.

Glad to have the responses here. As outlandish as some of them were, I totally feel the same way. We bought the tickets a long long time ago when it was all very abstract... As the dates get closer, I wake up in the middle of the night stressing about it.

If this is the case you should go. If this really might help save your marriage then you are really weighing two weeks away from them against a potential divorce.

Not sure where you are going but I have been to India for a week (which really means 4 days on the ground and the rest in the air). It can be done and you can rest while DH is in the office.
Or even better can you and DH go away another time when it is not work related and you can just focus on your marriage.

I am sure you will make the right choice for your family.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think working on your marriage is important to your children. I would not hesitate to take time away (3 weeks, whatever it takes) from them to rebuild your relationship. They will not remember three weeks without you when they are little, but divorce would impact them in every possible way--their relationships with each of you, possible future blended families, custody battles, living arrangements, standard of living, college fund, etc. Sometimes divorce is the better option for kids, but oftentimes it is not. If you are in the gray area, please do take the time to be with your spouse and remember why you fell for him/her in the first place. If your marriage is salvageable, it is worth going on this trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to take a two week international business trip next month. DS is 6 and I am sad thinking about it. He and I have been a part a week at a time before. Never 2 but we'll be ok.

Do what you need to do OP.

Lots of skype and lots of extra hugs be fore and after.

Op here. DH has a two week business trip. I was going to go with him. The two weeks will be pretty intense, with events til 9 or 10 pm and so forth. We were going to go for some solo time after.

It's been 7 yrs since we have taken a trip internationally, although we did take 4 days to a resort a few years ago.

Our marriage is on the rocks and we thought this would help.

But I can't stomach being apart from the kids this long.

Its far enough away that it's not really worth going for just the week together. You'd barely get over the jet lag before it would be time to go home.

Glad to have the responses here. As outlandish as some of them were, I totally feel the same way. We bought the tickets a long long time ago when it was all very abstract... As the dates get closer, I wake up in the middle of the night stressing about it.

If he's going to be busy until 9 or 10 most nights, I don't see how this trip is going to help your marriage. It will be a fun trip to getaway, but I would have brought the kids along.

You could hang out by the pool with them during the day, watch some movies in between. Tuck them in and have a romantic room service type dinner with your DH. Since his room will be paid for you guys could pay for an upgrade to a 2 bedroom suite or just get another connecting room for more privacy.

I've been on conference trips with DH ( with kids) and on long nights he's usually pretty exhausted or preparing for the next day. The kids and I don't expect much time with him, we just enjoy the trip and the sightseeing.

Not trying to bring your hopes down, but I think therapy or an actual real getaway with your DH, perhaps for a weekend, would be better for working on a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two weeks? Three weeks?

Children are 2.5 and 5, boy and girl.

Would be watched by a combination of family members at a relatives house.

At those ages, maybe 3-4 days max, unless it was required for work. Ideally care would be at our own house.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I haven't read all the threads--and I would never have left my kids for that long. That said, if you have reliable and comfortable child care available, and you think it would help your marriage, that is more important to the kids than being away. If you think this would help, go for it. It's better than one parent moving out forever.

Now, I'm not sure it will work, but at least you will feel you have tried. First, though, think about what you hope to accomplish.

[Anonymous]

Starting when I was 6 I spent a couple of months each summer with my grandparents. Those are some of the happiest times of my childhood.