Parents: What is the longest time you would feel comfortable leaving your children for a trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to be there during the business portion of the trip ? Why not meet your DH there at the end of the 2nd week for a week vacation? Then the kids are with relatives just for a week.

OP here. I didn't check this at all the past day. I appreciate everyone's response.

While it was a business trip for him, there were invitations for me to attend as well; it is part of the culture that the spouse is invited and does events with the family of main business host while the men are in their meetings. While I jumped in to be supportive and was excited for us to have time at the end after the meetings conclude, I just can't justify the whole time. I am changing the trip to 10 days.

This makes my skin crawl. NFW would I leave my children for this sexist bullshit.

I'm glad you are shortening your trip, OP. I think you will enjoy your time much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP one trip will not change your marriage. One date night a week will. You need to put in more time to your marriage on a regular basis, not take long vacations (where he is working 10+ hours a day there). Seriously, do you think it's good for you to be there too for the hour or so per day? He will be working on who knows what while you get to sight see, relax, etc. I would think that may cause some jealousy in itself.

Amen

But with a marriage on the rocks--him going alone seriously may and probably will be the straw that breaks the camels back. OP is trying to hold on to her husband sounds like--what a difficult position--I could totally see myself doing the same thing even though it might be futile.

If things were so bad that I didn't think my DH could go away on a business trip for 2 weeks without my marriage completely collapsing, I would throw in the towel right there and then. Seriously?

OP here. Nothing that melodramatic as either posting. It has been a really hellish year for us, and it just keeps getting worse. There is no end in sight. I don't think this trip is some magic wand. I don't think I even want to go. I think about cancelling every day. I ahvent changed my tickets yet and may just cancel.

[Anonymous]

Wow. This post has been so interesting. Americans are so dramatic.

My children can't be without me for a second!!! No!!! I must help them every step of the way. Not until they're teenagers?

[Anonymous]

This makes my skin crawl. NFW would I leave my children for this sexist bullshit.

I'm glad you are shortening your trip, OP. I think you will enjoy your time much more.

It sounds as though this is a trip to a different culture. It might be fun and relaxing. Don't jump to the conclusion that it is sexist. They are providing entertainment for the spouses. And, just because it is a sexist culture (that is an assumption on my part) doesn't mean that OP cannot have fun with her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP one trip will not change your marriage. One date night a week will. You need to put in more time to your marriage on a regular basis, not take long vacations (where he is working 10+ hours a day there). Seriously, do you think it's good for you to be there too for the hour or so per day? He will be working on who knows what while you get to sight see, relax, etc. I would think that may cause some jealousy in itself.

Amen

But with a marriage on the rocks--him going alone seriously may and probably will be the straw that breaks the camels back. OP is trying to hold on to her husband sounds like--what a difficult position--I could totally see myself doing the same thing even though it might be futile.

If things were so bad that I didn't think my DH could go away on a business trip for 2 weeks without my marriage completely collapsing, I would throw in the towel right there and then. Seriously?

OP here. Nothing that melodramatic as either posting. It has been a really hellish year for us, and it just keeps getting worse. There is no end in sight. I don't think this trip is some magic wand. I don't think I even want to go. I think about cancelling every day. I ahvent changed my tickets yet and may just cancel.

I'm a PP who has never left her children without a parent for more than 5 days (and my youngest is 12, LOL). I think 2 weeks is much too long to leave a 2-year-old and 3 weeks is outrageous. Obviously sometimes outrageous things have to happen (because of death or serious illness, deployment etc) and we have to do the best we can. But IME, a vacation, no matter how needed, doesn't cut it.

That said, I think you should go for those 10 days. Even though you don't really want to. It sounds like you really need a break from regular life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two weeks? Three weeks?

Children are 2.5 and 5, boy and girl.

Would be watched by a combination of family members at a relatives house.

Weeks ? Try 2 or 3 DAYS.

Well you are just the best parent in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This makes my skin crawl. NFW would I leave my children for this sexist bullshit.

I'm glad you are shortening your trip, OP. I think you will enjoy your time much more.

It sounds as though this is a trip to a different culture. It might be fun and relaxing. Don't jump to the conclusion that it is sexist. They are providing entertainment for the spouses. And, just because it is a sexist culture (that is an assumption on my part) doesn't mean that OP cannot have fun with her husband.

The assumption that the wives will trail along on a 2 week trip is completely outrageous. And yes, sexist. I suppose the little women don't have anything better to do than follow their hubbies around? GMAFB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two weeks? Three weeks?

Children are 2.5 and 5, boy and girl.

Would be watched by a combination of family members at a relatives house.

Weeks ? Try 2 or 3 DAYS.

Well you are just the best parent in the world.

Thanks, I actually do think I'm a pretty good mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This makes my skin crawl. NFW would I leave my children for this sexist bullshit.

I'm glad you are shortening your trip, OP. I think you will enjoy your time much more.

It sounds as though this is a trip to a different culture. It might be fun and relaxing. Don't jump to the conclusion that it is sexist. They are providing entertainment for the spouses. And, just because it is a sexist culture (that is an assumption on my part) doesn't mean that OP cannot have fun with her husband.

The assumption that the wives will trail along on a 2 week trip is completely outrageous. And yes, sexist. I suppose the little women don't have anything better to do than follow their hubbies around? GMAFB.

OP here. This is totally making me laugh. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My perspective is probably a bit different on this, but due to a combination of extensive work travel last summer (for me) and a move and a husband with an inflexible work schedule, my almost 4 year old spent the summer several states away with my parents. We visited 3 times and took her on a week long vacation and attempted to FaceTime daily, but time zone changes for me made that difficult some days. She has been begging since she came home to go back for the whole summer again. The plan is to go for just 2 weeks this summer and she is very disappointed.

We also left her when she 15 months for 7 days/6 nights with my parents, 2 days/1 night when she was a year, and 4 days/3 nights when she was a bit over two.

Sounds like your 4yr old likes the stability of her grandparents instead of the instability of her own parents. That is sad.

Or, in some cultures people believe it's ok for a child to love more then just her parents. Grandparents, aunts and uncles. We believe More people loving a child is good thing - not a sad thing. It's actually really sad that you find this sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The longest we left our kids (the same age as yours) is two nights. For a truly exceptional trip I might leave them for a full week (with lots of back-up childcare help), but I don't think I'd leave them more than about three nights at this age.

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My perspective is probably a bit different on this, but due to a combination of extensive work travel last summer (for me) and a move and a husband with an inflexible work schedule, my almost 4 year old spent the summer several states away with my parents. We visited 3 times and took her on a week long vacation and attempted to FaceTime daily, but time zone changes for me made that difficult some days. She has been begging since she came home to go back for the whole summer again. The plan is to go for just 2 weeks this summer and she is very disappointed.

We also left her when she 15 months for 7 days/6 nights with my parents, 2 days/1 night when she was a year, and 4 days/3 nights when she was a bit over two.

Sounds like your 4yr old likes the stability of her grandparents instead of the instability of her own parents. That is sad.

Oh give me a break. Grandparents have a pool and a beach, 2 acres of land, and are both retired and entirely doting all day long on her. She was the center of the universe for the summer and spoiled with ice cream and popsicles and all manner of things grandparents love to give to grandchildren. Of course that's more fun than getting up and going to daycare every day year round. I'd much rather spend my summer that way as well, even as an adult.

Oh, I see. So you throw the 4tr old in 12hr daycare so you can work and then send her off for the summer? When do you spend time with her? An hour a day maybe. How about you just let the grandparents adopt her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My perspective is probably a bit different on this, but due to a combination of extensive work travel last summer (for me) and a move and a husband with an inflexible work schedule, my almost 4 year old spent the summer several states away with my parents. We visited 3 times and took her on a week long vacation and attempted to FaceTime daily, but time zone changes for me made that difficult some days. She has been begging since she came home to go back for the whole summer again. The plan is to go for just 2 weeks this summer and she is very disappointed.

We also left her when she 15 months for 7 days/6 nights with my parents, 2 days/1 night when she was a year, and 4 days/3 nights when she was a bit over two.

Sounds like your 4yr old likes the stability of her grandparents instead of the instability of her own parents. That is sad.

Oh give me a break. Grandparents have a pool and a beach, 2 acres of land, and are both retired and entirely doting all day long on her. She was the center of the universe for the summer and spoiled with ice cream and popsicles and all manner of things grandparents love to give to grandchildren. Of course that's more fun than getting up and going to daycare every day year round. I'd much rather spend my summer that way as well, even as an adult.

Oh, I see. So you throw the 4tr old in 12hr daycare so you can work and then send her off for the summer? When do you spend time with her? An hour a day maybe. How about you just let the grandparents adopt her?

\

Wow, how cruel you are. You know nothing about this family's life, the choices they have had to make, and you come off as a judgmental and nasty person. I am glad you are not my mother. Please don't teach your children to behave this way.

[Anonymous]

At that age, a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My perspective is probably a bit different on this, but due to a combination of extensive work travel last summer (for me) and a move and a husband with an inflexible work schedule, my almost 4 year old spent the summer several states away with my parents. We visited 3 times and took her on a week long vacation and attempted to FaceTime daily, but time zone changes for me made that difficult some days. She has been begging since she came home to go back for the whole summer again. The plan is to go for just 2 weeks this summer and she is very disappointed.

We also left her when she 15 months for 7 days/6 nights with my parents, 2 days/1 night when she was a year, and 4 days/3 nights when she was a bit over two.

Sounds like your 4yr old likes the stability of her grandparents instead of the instability of her own parents. That is sad.

Oh give me a break. Grandparents have a pool and a beach, 2 acres of land, and are both retired and entirely doting all day long on her. She was the center of the universe for the summer and spoiled with ice cream and popsicles and all manner of things grandparents love to give to grandchildren. Of course that's more fun than getting up and going to daycare every day year round. I'd much rather spend my summer that way as well, even as an adult.

Oh, I see. So you throw the 4tr old in 12hr daycare so you can work and then send her off for the summer? When do you spend time with her? An hour a day maybe. How about you just let the grandparents adopt her?

Don't feed the troll. Just step away and ignore this person.