11-yo DS Felt "Bullied" Last Day at Camp - WWYD?

[Anonymous]

OP here with quick update,

i finally had a chance to bring this up with DS last night as we're looking at summer camp options so i asked him if he wanted to tell me about the soccer camp incident. according to him, they were at the cafeteria waiting to be picked up, and this kid told him to remove DS' water bottle from his spot, and DS replied 'just a second' but didn't do it right away, so the kid just knocked the bottle to the floor. DS picked it up, put it back on the table but on the other side, near where DS' friend was sitting. so this kid reached over and knocked it over again. DS asked him to stop, picked it up and put it back on the table yet it got knocked away again. So DS just left and went to play basketball in tears. didn't go to an adult either. he said he wanted to try the techniques learned from school/karate but was too upset to execute them.

a tough lesson, but one that has to be learned, i guess.

Here's the thing. I don't condone the behavior at all. But I am surprised your son has not had to deal with something like this before turning 11. Unfortunately, my K student has had to deal with ridiculous stuff like other kids knocking off his hat repeatedly to tease him, etc. It is annoying, for sure, and mean, but really, your son is lucky that he has not encountered it before. We have worked with DS on some strategies to handle, but obviously K strategies are not going to work for an 11 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with quick update,

i finally had a chance to bring this up with DS last night as we're looking at summer camp options so i asked him if he wanted to tell me about the soccer camp incident. according to him, they were at the cafeteria waiting to be picked up, and this kid told him to remove DS' water bottle from his spot, and DS replied 'just a second' but didn't do it right away, so the kid just knocked the bottle to the floor. DS picked it up, put it back on the table but on the other side, near where DS' friend was sitting. so this kid reached over and knocked it over again. DS asked him to stop, picked it up and put it back on the table yet it got knocked away again. So DS just left and went to play basketball in tears. didn't go to an adult either. he said he wanted to try the techniques learned from school/karate but was too upset to execute them.

a tough lesson, but one that has to be learned, i guess.

Thank you for the update. The first thing I thought of when reading this is to change the bolded "ask him to stop" to "what the fuck is your problem?!?" with the f-word optional. It sounds like the kid was intentionally being a dick and your son just needs to learn to be a little more assertive and confident.

I don't disagree with you. I am sure he knows that too. Hopefully he handles it better next time. And that next time I'm sure is very soon, as he's going to MS next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was taught to stand up to bullies. Beat the shit out of a bully infront of everyone and the rest learn to leave you the fuck alone. I personally got into a fight with the quarterback of my high school football team over a locker my first day of 10th grade. He threw me into a chain link fence probably 10 times but I came up swinging every time . Took 3 teachers to pull me off of him. I consider that a win for a 15 year old 110 pound girl

The bullies I know would have knocked your teeth out in one punch. You were lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here with quick update,

i finally had a chance to bring this up with DS last night as we're looking at summer camp options so i asked him if he wanted to tell me about the soccer camp incident. according to him, they were at the cafeteria waiting to be picked up, and this kid told him to remove DS' water bottle from his spot, and DS replied 'just a second' but didn't do it right away, so the kid just knocked the bottle to the floor. DS picked it up, put it back on the table but on the other side, near where DS' friend was sitting. so this kid reached over and knocked it over again. DS asked him to stop, picked it up and put it back on the table yet it got knocked away again. So DS just left and went to play basketball in tears. didn't go to an adult either. he said he wanted to try the techniques learned from school/karate but was too upset to execute them.

a tough lesson, but one that has to be learned, i guess.

Here's the thing. I don't condone the behavior at all. But I am surprised your son has not had to deal with something like this before turning 11. Unfortunately, my K student has had to deal with ridiculous stuff like other kids knocking off his hat repeatedly to tease him, etc. It is annoying, for sure, and mean, but really, your son is lucky that he has not encountered it before. We have worked with DS on some strategies to handle, but obviously K strategies are not going to work for an 11 year old.

We'll I don't know if he hasn't before. He never mentioned anything like it before and nothing from the teaches/school either. But that doesn't mean it nevered happened to him before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the update. The first thing I thought of when reading this is to change the bolded "ask him to stop" to "what the fuck is your problem?!?" with the f-word optional. It sounds like the kid was intentionally being a dick and your son just needs to learn to be a little more assertive and confident.

Bullies know not to pick on those who thorws f bombs, unless they're looking for a fight. They know their victims. What do you think would've happened had OP's un-assertive, low-confidence son somehow managed to say 'what's your problem' back?