Where does a young single early 30's woman meet guys if she's shy?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you're not necessarily shy or introverted, but more that you're old-fashioned and like to take things slowly.
I would just keep trying, OP, perhaps online. Back in my youth when I was "hot stuff" I met lots of guys and went on plenty of dates but while some guys certainly just wanted sex, there were plenty of others who were more interested in a relationship. I'm not quite sure why you keep running up against the same problem...maybe you're having a knee-jerk reaction to some benign flirting? You really are bound to meet someone on your wavelength eventually -- they're definitely out there.

[Anonymous]

I think an issue that you may have is that most people who wait until marriage to have sex, or are very conservative about it are married by the time they are in their thirties. They want to wait, but not that long or they settle into something so they don't have to keep avoiding having sex with new people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to meet guys for me because I have always been awkwardly shy around them but it's only because when I start conversations with guys there immediately develops a sexual tension between us and they assume my being friendly means I want them then they start being flirty and checking body so I can never make friends easily with men. I'm also non aggressive. Grew up with old values that the woman never pursues the man and I'm too shy to do that anyway. Too add to that I don't look my age but much younger so meeting a younger man is okay with me. Where or how can I meet guys?

Why are you trying to make friends with men? News flash: Single men aren't interested in being your friend. They may tolerate being an acquaintance, but make no mistake about it, they want to have sex with you. Stop pretending otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, no! People want to have sex with me! Sounds awful.

]

Amen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little Shyness is a personality trait - nothing that requires therapy - good grief!!

Unless you're in your thirties and stressing about meeting people. If it's a hindrance to her happiness she should address it.

It's only about meeting a significant other. I have tried online dating but 95 percent of the guys are the same as in person. They just want to sleep with me! I don't dress in a provocative way either and I'm friendly with everyone I meet. I don't think the problem is me but maybe the type of people I attract. I notice that the women who are in relationships easier and faster are the types to be more open sexually and who are aggressive or just very loud and outgoing. I'm not though. In other areas of life, like for business, I am very aggressive and a natural people person. I get along with about all types I meet. So is this therapist a dating coach? or maybe I should just try my luck in another country.

But no one is going to date you unless they want to have sex with you. That's why it's a dating relationship. What am I missing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little Shyness is a personality trait - nothing that requires therapy - good grief!!

Unless you're in your thirties and stressing about meeting people. If it's a hindrance to her happiness she should address it.

It's only about meeting a significant other. I have tried online dating but 95 percent of the guys are the same as in person. They just want to sleep with me! I don't dress in a provocative way either and I'm friendly with everyone I meet. I don't think the problem is me but maybe the type of people I attract. I notice that the women who are in relationships easier and faster are the types to be more open sexually and who are aggressive or just very loud and outgoing. I'm not though. In other areas of life, like for business, I am very aggressive and a natural people person. I get along with about all types I meet. So is this therapist a dating coach? or maybe I should just try my luck in another country.

But no one is going to date you unless they want to have sex with you. That's why it's a dating relationship. What am I missing?

You aren't missing anything. OP is though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to meet guys for me because I have always been awkwardly shy around them but it's only because when I start conversations with guys there immediately develops a sexual tension between us and they assume my being friendly means I want them then they start being flirty and checking body so I can never make friends easily with men. I'm also non aggressive. Grew up with old values that the woman never pursues the man and I'm too shy to do that anyway. Too add to that I don't look my age but much younger so meeting a younger man is okay with me. Where or how can I meet guys?

Why are you trying to make friends with men? News flash: Single men aren't interested in being your friend. They may tolerate being an acquaintance, but make no mistake about it, they want to have sex with you. Stop pretending otherwise.

That is debatable, and this is coming from a male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to meet guys for me because I have always been awkwardly shy around them but it's only because when I start conversations with guys there immediately develops a sexual tension between us and they assume my being friendly means I want them then they start being flirty and checking body so I can never make friends easily with men. I'm also non aggressive. Grew up with old values that the woman never pursues the man and I'm too shy to do that anyway. Too add to that I don't look my age but much younger so meeting a younger man is okay with me. Where or how can I meet guys?

Why are you trying to make friends with men? News flash: Single men aren't interested in being your friend. They may tolerate being an acquaintance, but make no mistake about it, they want to have sex with you. Stop pretending otherwise.

That is debatable, and this is coming from a male.

What's debatable about it? I'm a man and I have female friends, but I'm not calling them to hang out at the movies or do things together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to meet guys for me because I have always been awkwardly shy around them but it's only because when I start conversations with guys there immediately develops a sexual tension between us and they assume my being friendly means I want them then they start being flirty and checking body so I can never make friends easily with men. I'm also non aggressive. Grew up with old values that the woman never pursues the man and I'm too shy to do that anyway. Too add to that I don't look my age but much younger so meeting a younger man is okay with me. Where or how can I meet guys?

Why are you trying to make friends with men? News flash: Single men aren't interested in being your friend. They may tolerate being an acquaintance, but make no mistake about it, they want to have sex with you. Stop pretending otherwise.

That is debatable, and this is coming from a male.

I agree with responder. I have always had platonic women friends. There is a particular type of woman that I dated. So that means no other kind of woman was worth bring friends with?

[Anonymous]

Op I didn't have luck on Ashley Madison at all. I tried it and for some reason the men are only interested in sex. I don't know why. I had to pay $50 to join too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I didn't have luck on Ashley Madison at all. I tried it and for some reason the men are only interested in sex. I don't know why. I had to pay $50 to join too.

I haven't read this whole thread, but is this comment for real? Ashley Madison is a site for horny, gullible dudes looking for sex on the DL. If you're a woman looking for a relationship, that's pretty much the last place I would go.

[Anonymous]

Hi, You need to be committed to finding a relationship. When I was 26 I made up ten requirements of op before establishing a relationship. And then started looking.The op I married met 8/10. We are now 51 years happily married. Actually became romantic after exploring in letters for year and half. She in Nursing school in Boston me in USAF in France. We ping-ponged each other thru college. Only saw each other for eight days before I popped the question % days before jetting to France, 3 days on leave and then back to France. We both agreed that we were craze, but committed ourselves to making it work. We still make it work.
See comments about finding sex counselor in Relationship
Discussion (explicit) that shows we are not taking relationship for granted. Comment that speaks to sex therapist in Florida. Go girl, only shyness is holding you back. And no don't go bed jumping it is not in your character. Old fashion ways still work. Be cool and level headed. Know what you want and then go for it.