How to handle entitled/selfish teen?

[Anonymous]

Why not discuss it at dinner time with the whole family one night? Don't single out your DD at this point. Just announce a new family rule -- if someone is going to take or use something that belongs to someone else, they need to ask permission first. Then get everyone talking about why this is important. The discussion can include some airing of grievances but should also include discussion of why this will make the family stronger and the house more pleasant for all.

Above all else, make it clear that the rule applies to EVERYONE in the house, adults and children alike. And then be very careful about following it yourself. Lots of, "May I please use your . . . " or "Are you done with Y? May I have it?" Good modeling of respect etc.

And to be sure the expectation is clear, post a large note on the refrigerator or on the door you all use to leave the house (or both) reminding everyone of the rule. This way there's no "forgetting". It's front and center.

Praise good behavior ("I like how you asked X to use her Y instead of just taking it.") Check in as a family from time to time to see how it's going.

Of course, if she's continuing with her old behavior, call her out on it. Every time. Ask her why and impose consequences accordingly.

[Anonymous]

it sounds like she might be feeling unseen/under-appreciated?
Can you talk with her seriously about how this behavior is not okay, but in addition find other ways to make time you spend just with her, really hearing her and being with her? Make sure you talk her up in front of other friends and family?

[Anonymous]

I think this is pretty normal. The toddler lunch is a little mean and should be corrected because the toddler can't defend himself. But why does DD's lunch pale by comparison? Get her fun food too.

Our two DC teens take candy, clothes, headphones, etc. from each other all the time. And get mad at each other sometimes, other times not. That's their issue to work out. DD takes hairbrushes. She just likes certain ones. Get your DD a hairbrush she likes for next birthday and that will change.

[Anonymous]

This is impulsive behavior-she may have adhd.

[Anonymous]

Take away her phone, tablet/laptop and change the password for your internet access.