I am totally alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but conservative Christians are THE WORST. They think they are so kind and accepting, but they are horribly judgemental people. I'm a Christian, but you will not see me step a foot inside any church, but UCC.

I have never met a decent conservative Christian...especially once you get to know them and they think they can trust you with their true beliefs. Sad sad people.

Just saw this, and thank you for proving my point.

-OP

Conservative Christians do it to themselves. Look at the treatment your own church "family" gives you for not falling in line.

A bunch of brain washed insecure fakes. You buy into that shit and it rubs off. Everyone who meets you can sense ir. Who needs those kind od "friends". You judge. You judge hard and nobody is fooled, except you.

So far, you are the one who's judging. She did not impose any of her believes on you or on anyone else here. Let her be.
-An atheist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I think he or she has hit on the issue, no? Besides what others have said. Why else would just the mention of attending church get people fired up?

Did it get people fired up or did it get HER fired up? Clearly the people attending your church don't feel that way so there are at least a few people who think like you do.
Do you generally have issues with social cues? Your are definitely distorting your situation.

Well, it got her fired up, and at least one mom at the park. And yes, I do have issues with social cues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I think he or she has hit on the issue, no? Besides what others have said. Why else would just the mention of attending church get people fired up?

Did it get people fired up or did it get HER fired up? Clearly the people attending your church don't feel that way so there are at least a few people who think like you do.
Do you generally have issues with social cues? Your are definitely distorting your situation.

Well, it got her fired up, and at least one mom at the park. And yes, I do have issues with social cues.

I understand. A professional can help you with that. Hopefully in the future you will be able to see the people who don't have a problem with you as clearly as the ones who do. That's how you make your life less lonely.

[Anonymous]

It did not get the other mom fired up. You just interpreted it as such. Please get a therapist, I think a lot of This is self imposed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For example, I was changing DC's diaper the other day, and a mom noticed it was cloth (hard to hide) and said, "Oh, I bet you think you're better than me because you use cloth and I use Huggies." It was strange, so strange. I didn't know what to say and just muttered something about it being cheaper. I have a really hard time dealing with up front people and knowing what to say when I'm directly challenged.

That is soooo weird!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Op, i am sorry you are lonely and feeling isolated. I got a little lost on this thread when it veered off into the conservative Christian blah blah blah. In any case i don't see why your religious beliefs prevent you from making friends - it's not like its a conversation starter.
I am going to say something harsh but being honest, you can take it or leave it. If it is important for you to make friends and fit in socially than you need to try to fit in. It sounds as though you are making an effort to be an outcast. Not saying you have to be someone you are not, but if you are determined to be "weird" don't expect to make friends easily.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that I don't know what "normal" is. I'm learning, but it's been a long road and I'm nowhere near being able to figure it out yet.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry op. this is 18:50 again. How old are you? Has it always been hard for you to make friends? I am asking because it is possible you have some neurological issues that have not been diagnosed. Has this come up before? The problems you describe sound similar to what i have read about special needs kids. Not judging, but trying to help. Maybe get diagnosed and take it from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You know what, OP? I'm a bonafide weirdo. I come from a strange family and had an offbeat upbringing. I parent differently than anyone I know. Much of my life seems contradictory from the outside. My interests aren't the norm.

But, guess what? I am genuinely interested in other people. I love talking to the people I meet at bus stops. I say hello to people in my neighborhood. I always show interest in the barista's day, the lady ringing me up at CVS, etc.

In your examples, it's others asking you questions. Have you initiated conversations? Asked about someone's day? Complimented anyone?

I honestly think people are accepting of me because they see that my oddity isn't put on and my interest in them is authentic.

When you're depressed it's easy to get stuck inside yourself. Reach out! It may not be your natural response, but please do give it a try.

Taken right from the pages of Dale Carnegie's classic book, which I recommend you read. And I echo this poster: just be yourself. That small town needs fresh ideas to get it out of the dinosaur age.

[Anonymous]

Are you the same generation as other moms with kids the same age. I live here so being an older mom, I mostly know other older moms and when we meet a younger mom, it's often quite apparent that we're in a totally different phase in the rest of our lives. If you're in a place where everyone has their babies at 22 and you had yours at 40, it's always going to seem weird. Ditto about education, kind of employment, etc.

But always try to ascertain if a person was actually trying to be unkind, and in general presume they weren't. Maybe they're just clueless or awkward, like you feel.

[Anonymous]

How bout trying a more progressive church OP. It's still church but you will find older moms, working moms, and people who accept unique and socially awkward or quirky smart. People. Am thinking Unitarian or Lutheran or something. Baptist doesn't dound like the type of people who are nonconformist. Look up Michelle Garcia winners website socialthinking.com and buy her books for adults or even teens on reading social cues and how to make small talk. Can you take an art class or yoga or something to try to meet likeminded people? Is there a food coop where natural-living minded people hang out and post activities. If you're quirky go where quirky people go. Let go some of your own conservatism or you will be lost between two worlds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How bout trying a more progressive church OP. It's still church but you will find older moms, working moms, and people who accept unique and socially awkward or quirky smart. People. Am thinking Unitarian or Lutheran or something. Baptist doesn't dound like the type of people who are nonconformist. Look up Michelle Garcia winners website socialthinking.com and buy her books for adults or even teens on reading social cues and how to make small talk. Can you take an art class or yoga or something to try to meet likeminded people? Is there a food coop where natural-living minded people hang out and post activities. If you're quirky go where quirky people go. Let go some of your own conservatism or you will be lost between two worlds.

A conservative Christian at a unitarian church? In the pews with the unclean? Puhlease.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm the PP who wrote the long response at the end of page 1.

Another thing I note is that your reactions seem to be self-fulfilling. You take all comments made to you very personally and awkwardly. Then you react awkwardly and assume that their behavior or reaction is negative.

I'm Asian, not white, and I often note that people say awkward or sometimes offensive race-based comments to me. I try very hard to assume that they are trying to be nice and "break the ice". They don't always realize how inappropriate or off-putting their comments may be. But if you take comments as people awkwardly trying to break the ice or be friendly, I have found in many, many cases, that you can end up having a nice polite conversation with a stranger. If this is a once-off conversation, then I put it behind me. If it turns into an acquaintanceship or friendship, down the line, when things are more relaxed, I'll comment about what was said and just let the person know how the comment could be misunderstood.

I think one of the issues is that you have your guard up and you immediately take such comments negatively. Then your reaction makes it difficult or impossible to develop a friendship. Try assuming that the person was awkwardly trying to break the ice, respond positively and see if you get different reactions from people. It was hard when I was younger and I was affronted by odd race-based statements, but it becomes easier the more you change your perspective and it might open up some friendships for you in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Why not make friends with people at your church?

[Anonymous]

Just remember:

We ALL come into this world alone and we all go out of this world alone.

ALL of us do.