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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm the PP who wrote the long response at the end of page 1.

Another thing I note is that your reactions seem to be self-fulfilling.  You take all comments made to you very personally and awkwardly.  Then you react awkwardly and assume that their behavior or reaction is negative.

I'm Asian, not white, and I often note that people say awkward or sometimes offensive race-based comments to me.  I try very hard to assume that they are trying to be nice and "break the ice".  They don't always realize how inappropriate or off-putting their comments may be.  But if you take comments as people awkwardly trying to break the ice or be friendly, I have found in many, many cases, that you can end up having a nice polite conversation with a stranger.  If this is a once-off conversation, then I put it behind me.  If it turns into an acquaintanceship or friendship, down the line, when things are more relaxed, I'll comment about what was said and just let the person know how the comment could be misunderstood.

I think one of the issues is that you have your guard up and you immediately take such comments negatively.  Then your reaction makes it difficult or impossible to develop a friendship.  Try assuming that the person was awkwardly trying to break the ice, respond positively and see if you get different reactions from people.  It was hard when I was younger and I was affronted by odd race-based statements, but it becomes easier the more you change your perspective and it might open up some friendships for you in the long run.[/quote]

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