feeling like teacher is blaming me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is OP - thanks for this comment. While I do agree that the teacher is not blaming me (after reading all these comments and thinking about it more) - I do think the teacher is not exactly helping. Without posting the whole email - she tells me all the things DD forgets to do - but there was no information given on how the school is working with her on this. They may, in fact, be working with her on it - but so far that hasn't been communicated to me. So I did sort of take the statement as "we (the parent and child) need to fix this". End of story.

It's great that the teacher emailed you about all this! It's documentation of adverse educational impact. Now, suss out whether she is doing anything to help or not. Respond with thanks for the information and ask for more information and advice. "As DD's parents we are happy to partner with you to try to develop her organizational skills. What are you doing with her at school to improve these skills? How can we reinforce at home the organizational learning she is getting at school? Do you recommend any outside help for developing organizational skills in first grade? etc."

Thanks good point. I'm new to this so bear with me!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your concerns have merit. We've BTDT.
What did you feed Sam for breakfast...how much sleep are you letting him get...how much time are you putting into his xyz...you should buy these books or go to these workshops and change/add therapies...never ending. Turns out Sam actually had LDs once he had a full evaluation. Then the story changed to a different blame game. Every experience is different. Sometimes they are however blaming you. And your child.

+1. Our experience too in MCPS, specifically.

So frustrating to hear this as we specifically purchased our home in MCPS.... Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you can help your daughter by teaching her organization skills and reinforcing them daily. Will that solve all her problems? No, of course not -- but it will help her enormously.

My son has these issues as well. He is in middle school now and we still work on it regularly. Luckily his teachers also work on teaching the kids organization skills as they know that most 7th grade boys are not naturally gifted in keeping track of their stuff.

Don't take it so personally, but do ask the teacher for concrete suggestions on what you can do at home to help. If he she says vague things, like be more organized -- ask her for suggestions as to methods you can use for DD to track her assignments and school work. Ask the teacher how the children organize their paperwork at school and how they prepare the day's homework to be taken home. Then you can help reinforce those objectives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I believe insurance is covering most of it because we are going to CNMC (they take our insurance). This is the only way we can do this.

Honestly, by the time we requested the IEP, we had already been interacting with the EMT for 9 months to a year, and it was so clear they had no idea what they were doing and no idea how to help our DC. So, we just went private.

Verify with CNMC how long it will take to get the final written report back after your appointment. You really want to complete the IEP process by the end of this school year if you want supports in place for next school year. The timeline is 30+60+30 -- i.e. 30 days from your written IEP request to screening, 60 days for the school to evaluate and hold a "determination" and another 30 days to write the IEP goals if your child is determined to qualify for an IEP. So, really the beginning of Feb. is when you want to file.

If you have a lot of documentation from the teacher, you might file for the screening before you have the neuropsych results, if you think you can make a clear case for 1) disorder, 2) adverse educational impact and 3) need for specialized instruction. You do not need testing to pass the screening; the screening just checks to see if you have a plausible argument for the IEP. If you fail the screening, you can always refile when you have the neuropsych.

At the IEP screening meeting, if you pass, the IEP team will immediately ask you to sign a form giving blanket consent to assess in all areas. Say you are willing to consent, but want to know the specific tests the psychologist is proposing. Then double-check with CNMC about what they will do. We declined to consent to allowing the school psychologist to do the specific tests, explaining by email that the private neuropsychologist would do the same tests, and then consented to allow the school psychologist to do a few things we thought were appropriate and that the neuropsych wouldn't do (e.g. classroom visit). She was happy to not have to do more testing -- lightened her workload. However, if the neuropsych report does not come back within the specified 60 day window, you should ask for an extension and say that you are willing to waive the timeline until XX date because the testing has been done but the report isn't finished.

If it spills over into the next year, it can be complicated, because you will be dealing with new teachers who will not know DC well enough to provide evidence on the educational impact prong. Although, it sounds like you will have some documentation from the prior year, and if you are in a k-5 school you can ask the previous year's teacher to participate (although teachers will rarely disagree with each other at an IEP meeting).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I believe insurance is covering most of it because we are going to CNMC (they take our insurance). This is the only way we can do this.

Honestly, by the time we requested the IEP, we had already been interacting with the EMT for 9 months to a year, and it was so clear they had no idea what they were doing and no idea how to help our DC. So, we just went private.

Verify with CNMC how long it will take to get the final written report back after your appointment. You really want to complete the IEP process by the end of this school year if you want supports in place for next school year. The timeline is 30+60+30 -- i.e. 30 days from your written IEP request to screening, 60 days for the school to evaluate and hold a "determination" and another 30 days to write the IEP goals if your child is determined to qualify for an IEP. So, really the beginning of Feb. is when you want to file.

If you have a lot of documentation from the teacher, you might file for the screening before you have the neuropsych results, if you think you can make a clear case for 1) disorder, 2) adverse educational impact and 3) need for specialized instruction. You do not need testing to pass the screening; the screening just checks to see if you have a plausible argument for the IEP. If you fail the screening, you can always refile when you have the neuropsych.

At the IEP screening meeting, if you pass, the IEP team will immediately ask you to sign a form giving blanket consent to assess in all areas. Say you are willing to consent, but want to know the specific tests the psychologist is proposing. Then double-check with CNMC about what they will do. We declined to consent to allowing the school psychologist to do the specific tests, explaining by email that the private neuropsychologist would do the same tests, and then consented to allow the school psychologist to do a few things we thought were appropriate and that the neuropsych wouldn't do (e.g. classroom visit). She was happy to not have to do more testing -- lightened her workload. However, if the neuropsych report does not come back within the specified 60 day window, you should ask for an extension and say that you are willing to waive the timeline until XX date because the testing has been done but the report isn't finished.

If it spills over into the next year, it can be complicated, because you will be dealing with new teachers who will not know DC well enough to provide evidence on the educational impact prong. Although, it sounds like you will have some documentation from the prior year, and if you are in a k-5 school you can ask the previous year's teacher to participate (although teachers will rarely disagree with each other at an IEP meeting).

Our appt is end of March and they said 6-8 weeks for the report so we are running very close to the end of the school year. UGH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I believe insurance is covering most of it because we are going to CNMC (they take our insurance). This is the only way we can do this.

Honestly, by the time we requested the IEP, we had already been interacting with the EMT for 9 months to a year, and it was so clear they had no idea what they were doing and no idea how to help our DC. So, we just went private.

Verify with CNMC how long it will take to get the final written report back after your appointment. You really want to complete the IEP process by the end of this school year if you want supports in place for next school year. The timeline is 30+60+30 -- i.e. 30 days from your written IEP request to screening, 60 days for the school to evaluate and hold a "determination" and another 30 days to write the IEP goals if your child is determined to qualify for an IEP. So, really the beginning of Feb. is when you want to file.

If you have a lot of documentation from the teacher, you might file for the screening before you have the neuropsych results, if you think you can make a clear case for 1) disorder, 2) adverse educational impact and 3) need for specialized instruction. You do not need testing to pass the screening; the screening just checks to see if you have a plausible argument for the IEP. If you fail the screening, you can always refile when you have the neuropsych.

At the IEP screening meeting, if you pass, the IEP team will immediately ask you to sign a form giving blanket consent to assess in all areas. Say you are willing to consent, but want to know the specific tests the psychologist is proposing. Then double-check with CNMC about what they will do. We declined to consent to allowing the school psychologist to do the specific tests, explaining by email that the private neuropsychologist would do the same tests, and then consented to allow the school psychologist to do a few things we thought were appropriate and that the neuropsych wouldn't do (e.g. classroom visit). She was happy to not have to do more testing -- lightened her workload. However, if the neuropsych report does not come back within the specified 60 day window, you should ask for an extension and say that you are willing to waive the timeline until XX date because the testing has been done but the report isn't finished.

If it spills over into the next year, it can be complicated, because you will be dealing with new teachers who will not know DC well enough to provide evidence on the educational impact prong. Although, it sounds like you will have some documentation from the prior year, and if you are in a k-5 school you can ask the previous year's teacher to participate (although teachers will rarely disagree with each other at an IEP meeting).

Our appt is end of March and they said 6-8 weeks for the report so we are running very close to the end of the school year. UGH.

There are ways to sort of fudge it and keep the timeline moving. For example, if you file at the beginning of March, so that your testing date would just have happened, that will put some pressure on the screening committee to at least pass you in the screening and then wait for you to provide the neuropsych. Meanwhile you can ask for a date to be scheduled for the determination meeting which is after you think you'll get the report back (waving the timeline until XX date if necessary), and consent to allow the MCPS psych to do anything (appropriate) that Children's doesn't do. The Children's appointment will generate more documentation -- they will give you forms to be filled out by the teachers, which you can use as evidence of adverse impact in the screening. Often the testing doctor will meet with parents a few days after the test to give a preliminary diagnosis and oral debriefing on testing results. Does Children's do this? If so, and if you feel you will have difficulty passing screening, you might see if you can schedule the screening for a week or so after the Children's appointment and ask the doctor to provide a short letter as to the tentative diagnoses pending the full report. The IEP team can't make a final determination without a full written report by someone qualified, but they may find a preliminary letter enough to pass you thru the screening and at least that would keep the timeline moving.

That would put you in a position to get the determination done the first half of June (teachers work a few more days after school ends). Meetings can continue thru the summer, but they may put teachers on the IEP team who don't actually know your child. But, if the determination is complete, at least those teachers can continue and write the IEP goals over the summer, so that they're in place at the beginning of school. The really key parts are having the private neuropsych and having teachers that know your DC (and presumably would support an IEP or could be convinced to do so) present at the determination meeting.

If that doesn't work, you can still request the IEP in late May or June -- the timeline doesn't stop ticking over the summer. It's just that you might have to have the meeting with administrative staff that don't really know your kid. That might not be bad if your neuropsych is clear and you have paper documentation of adverse educational impact from DC's teachers. Just try to get DC's teachers to fill out the MCPS teacher referral form if they will not be available over the summer to participate in an IEP meeting (unlikely).