In-laws, grandkids and allergies. Who is being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

I have bad cat allergies as well, and of course my in laws have 4 or 5 of them (MIL takes in strays). I make sure I take my meds BEFORE we get there. They live about 4 hours away, so I normally take it when we're 1.5hrs out so it has time to take effect. I wash my hands often, make a conscious effort not to touch my face at all, and try to get us outside as much as possible. DD doesn't show any signs of allergies yet at least. I am an animal lover, so I wouldn't expect them to confine the cats in a room for our time there, but my in laws are also impeccably clean, vacuuming daily.

If my allergies were as bad as yours, then I would definitely stay at a hotel. I would still go to their home, but in small doses.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for a hotel from a parent with mild allergies and a child with more serious ones. Another aspect, I still have a little resentment from my childhood when we would visit my chain-smoking grandparents who I loved...but I would be sick during and after the visit. I've wondered why this seemed OK with my (great) parents.

[Anonymous]

Even without the allergies, your whole family sleeping on the floor is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even without the allergies, your whole family sleeping on the floor is ridiculous.

+1 My ILs have a tiny house with no extra bedrooms so we've always stayed at a hotel when we visit.

OP, this is non-negotiable. Hotel. Minimal time at their house. Is there some reason you HAVE to go to their home for Xmas? Why can't you host?

[Anonymous]

My in laws only have a 3 bedroom house (and one room is an office). I've always wondered what happens when they have grandkids and my SIL gets married. If the answer is that we're sleeping on the floor, I will never visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman up and tell your husband that either you get a hotel room or you and your daughter and the other kids are NOT going, at all.

Your daughter requires an inhaler. That means it's closing her airway. Allergic reactions are unpredictable and can get worse. She could have a very severe reaction without warning. In the meantime, she is sick and miserable. That's negligent on DH's part and his parents' part. They need to grow up and get over it.

+1

No one should have to split up their family on a holiday, or risk anaphylactic shock, to spare cats' and in-laws' feelings.

Signed, owner of 3 cats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. DO NOT STAY THERE. I suffer from cat allergies (complete with an epi pen) and my MIL doesn't believe me. My allergist offered to write her a note but I said no.

One X-mas many years ago, she refused to ask her other son and his fat ass girlfriend to wash their clothes before coming to their house. I inhaled the cat hair off the girlfriend's sweater and then spent the x-mas even holed up in DH's childhood bedroom which has practically no insulation. Cat dander is ubiquitous and very hard to avoid when you walk into a home where there are cats. Once you are exposed to an allergen your body can become extra sensitive to other allergies. When I am exposed to cat hair my throat closes up and I can't breathe which can trigger asthma like symptoms.

People who don't understand this like your ILs need to fuck off. Asking someone who is allergic to cat hair to sleep on the floor is insane.

Protect your child!

Who asks people to wash their clothes before coming over?

[Anonymous]

Why don't they come spend Xmas at your house?

[Anonymous]

Hotel: it's ridiculous to ask a family to sleep on the floor and then the allergies are a huge problem. You have to get away at night to recover from the exposure during the day and get some sleep.

I had to draw the line with my parents; they were upset but got used to it after a while. Us staying in a hotel was actually more relaxing for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my. Your DH is being 100% unreasonable. I love cats, but my DH is super allergic. My mother re-homed her cats when we got married so that he could spend time at her house without dying. We don't even spend the night! It's been 4 years without cats in the house and my DH STILL has a minor reaction when we go over. So basically, even locking up the cats would do nothing for you.

It needs to be hotel or no visit. Cats are not more important than people. Repeat as needed.

Why can't cat owners be more reasonable like your mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they come spend Xmas at your house?

If they're like my in-laws they don't want to leave their fur babies at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they come spend Xmas at your house?

If they're like my in-laws they don't want to leave their fur babies at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in laws only have a 3 bedroom house (and one room is an office). I've always wondered what happens when they have grandkids and my SIL gets married. If the answer is that we're sleeping on the floor, I will never visit.

how do you know the sil will get married and they will have grandkids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. DO NOT STAY THERE. I suffer from cat allergies (complete with an epi pen) and my MIL doesn't believe me. My allergist offered to write her a note but I said no.

One X-mas many years ago, she refused to ask her other son and his fat ass girlfriend to wash their clothes before coming to their house. I inhaled the cat hair off the girlfriend's sweater and then spent the x-mas even holed up in DH's childhood bedroom which has practically no insulation. Cat dander is ubiquitous and very hard to avoid when you walk into a home where there are cats. Once you are exposed to an allergen your body can become extra sensitive to other allergies. When I am exposed to cat hair my throat closes up and I can't breathe which can trigger asthma like symptoms.

People who don't understand this like your ILs need to fuck off. Asking someone who is allergic to cat hair to sleep on the floor is insane.

Protect your child!

I had only to read to the bolded part to disregard everything you said. You sound like an awful person. Just stay home for the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Next year insist the inlaws come to your house if they are so offended that you are staying in a hotel. Your husband is being a dick. The fact that you mentioned using inhalers is concering. My toddler has asthma and anything that is a known trigger for her astham (ie a cat filled house) would be a NO. Don't want to end up in the ER.