toxic first child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here-Thanks everyone for the advice. For those who asked, my mother is being treated but not aggressively, to preserve her quality of life-if the first treatments don't make an impact, she'll go into hospice care. I don't believe I have fertility issues as I got pregnant a while ago and had an abortion, and in retrospect that title was really dumb . Obviously I will need to discuss this further with my family but like you guys advised I'll start by talking with my husband. Thanks so much.

Seems gross to put the word "abortion" and a smilie face in the same sentence.

Not really. Many, many, many women are grateful and relieved for their abortions. It's not always tragedy to terminate a pregnancy. It probably isn't tragic or sad most of the time.

FYI most pro-choice people would NOT agree with this. Of course it is sad, even if it's the right thing to do under the circumstances.

It's a serious decision, but not a sad one. Abortion is a form of birth control. It is not more sad to have an abortion than it is to take a pill. Pretending that every abortion that terminates an unwanted pregnancy is some great tragedy is playing into the anti-choice narrative. It's a medical procedure. Many women are glad to have it done, and are relieved and happy when it is done. 1/3 of women have an abortion by the age of 45. They're mostly relieved and satisfied with the decision.

Why do you get to decide how someone feels after having an abortion? Of course it is a relief for some and sad for others. It is not the same as taking a birth control pill. You are ending a fetal life and there is often a recovery period. I am pro-choice if it matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here-Thanks everyone for the advice. For those who asked, my mother is being treated but not aggressively, to preserve her quality of life-if the first treatments don't make an impact, she'll go into hospice care. I don't believe I have fertility issues as I got pregnant a while ago and had an abortion, and in retrospect that title was really dumb . Obviously I will need to discuss this further with my family but like you guys advised I'll start by talking with my husband. Thanks so much.

Seems gross to put the word "abortion" and a smilie face in the same sentence.

Not really. Many, many, many women are grateful and relieved for their abortions. It's not always tragedy to terminate a pregnancy. It probably isn't tragic or sad most of the time.

FYI most pro-choice people would NOT agree with this. Of course it is sad, even if it's the right thing to do under the circumstances.

It's a serious decision, but not a sad one. Abortion is a form of birth control. It is not more sad to have an abortion than it is to take a pill. Pretending that every abortion that terminates an unwanted pregnancy is some great tragedy is playing into the anti-choice narrative. It's a medical procedure. Many women are glad to have it done, and are relieved and happy when it is done. 1/3 of women have an abortion by the age of 45. They're mostly relieved and satisfied with the decision.

Why do you get to decide how someone feels after having an abortion? Of course it is a relief for some and sad for others. It is not the same as taking a birth control pill. You are ending a fetal life and there is often a recovery period. I am pro-choice if it matters.

PP here. I should have said a life, as that is what it is..of course in most circumstances it is not a fetus yet. Abortion is rarely a black and white decision and often there are a mix of feelings- which is completely appropriate.

[Anonymous]

It would be nice if your mom could meet your child, however, you won't be able to spend any time with your mom because you'll be so busy raising your child.

[Anonymous]

Listen to your mom. She wants what it best for you. I promise.

I lost my mom a month ago, and I am getting married next year. It's not the same as a baby (I have a twelve year old from a previous marriage, fwiw), but we had the option of rushing a wedding that Mom could attend, and she told me the same thing your mom did. Do what makes us happy. So we slowed down and spent time with her instead.

[Anonymous]

How old are you?
Go read the TTC list serv - babies don't always come easy.
Do some research on getting preganat and looking at your family history. I was "blessed" to know that my mother had very difficult time getting pregant, and also with her post-30 babies so I knew to try early. I graduated with my masters at 28 and pregant - teen mom for this area, but I'm looking forward to the kids being out of the house at 50. I also have a friend who's mom had breast cancer young - she also had babies early (or at least early for DC), she also have the gene and will get her "Angolina" surgery eventually.

There might be more at play than jsut your mom's health - what about your health (or future health)

[Anonymous]

If I thought my mom had less than 2 years to live, I would want to spend as much time with her as possible. If I had a baby, I would spend less time with my mom and would be less able to take her to appointments, cook/clean for her, etc. I would so not have a baby right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen to your mom. She wants what it best for you. I promise.

I lost my mom a month ago, and I am getting married next year. It's not the same as a baby (I have a twelve year old from a previous marriage, fwiw), but we had the option of rushing a wedding that Mom could attend, and she told me the same thing your mom did. Do what makes us happy. So we slowed down and spent time with her instead.

Love the bolded part. Excellent advice.

[Anonymous]

OP, there is a lot of research to suggest that a rise in the mother's cortisol levels during pregnancy does effect the health of the baby. I wouldn't do it. My dad died a few days after the birth of my first child. It was incredibly stressful.