toxic first child
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Anonymous
It may be dumb, but it was also your initial impulse as to how to describe the situation. It sounds like, as much as you want this for your mom, it's not a good idea for you. |
. Obviously I will need to discuss this further with my family but like you guys advised I'll start by talking with my husband. Thanks so much.
Anonymous
When or whether you have a baby should not be a discussion with your family. Your husband, and your doctor/midwife. But it's not a family decision. |
Anonymous
| Doesn't sound like you can afford it & your husband says no. Nothing to consider IMO. |
Anonymous
+1,000 |
Anonymous
| Unless it would be a tremendous strain on your marriage and finances, have a baby now. My father died when my oldest was 2 months old. I am forever grateful that he got to hold his first grandchild and that I have a few photographs to share with my son. He never got the chance to meet his second grandchild and that makes me very sad. |
Anonymous
Seems gross to put the word "abortion" and a smilie face in the same sentence. |
Anonymous
| Wow, OP you aborted one and now you want one to make your mom happy? You sound scattered and like you take it all for granted. |
Anonymous
Not really. Many, many, many women are grateful and relieved for their abortions. It's not always tragedy to terminate a pregnancy. It probably isn't tragic or sad most of the time. |
Anonymous
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While I think it would be wonderful for your mom to meet her potential grandchild, also think about the responsibilities a child brings. If you'd want to spend a significant amount of time with your mom during her last months/year alive, doing that with a child will be very difficult.
Also, don't underestimate the grief you'll have from losing your mom and how that might affect your ability to take care of an infant. As hard as it is, for now if it was me, I'd wait. I'm sorry OP. There's no "right" answer here. |
Anonymous
wow |
Anonymous
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Op, get a grip. No. |
Anonymous
FYI most pro-choice people would NOT agree with this. Of course it is sad, even if it's the right thing to do under the circumstances. |
Anonymous
Stress in pregnancy doesn't contribute to ASD, PP. So don't beat yourself up (it's looking like it's tied to genetics and environmental triggers like some chemicals). |
Anonymous
| OP, as someone who had an abortion with my now-husband when we were first dating, and later felt pressure from my dying mom to have kids once we were married but before we were ready, I would urge you to wait as we did. Watching my older siblings deal with the stress of pregnancy, infants and toddlers while also helping take care of my mom during her long, awful illness and managing that grief - I'm glad we made the decisions we made. So sorry about your mom. |
Anonymous
+1 |