Survey: Did your parents use corporal punishment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid-40's man here. Grew up in Eastern Europe and then NYC. My mom spanked me a couple of times. Once, when I was 4 or so, my mom told my dad to spank me. He took me in the room, closed the door, put me over his knee, put his hand over my butt and proceded to whip the back of his own hand with his belt (so that it sounded, to my mom, like he was actually hitting me). Then he stood me up, showed me his red hand and said "look how your behavior is hurting your father." I don't specifically remember any other punishment that I ever got but that stuck with me my whole life.

Wow.

+1 .. did this ever happen again? Did it make an impression on you as a kid (obviously did as an adult).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 30. Born and raised in Northern Virginia. My parents were raised in the country in VA and WVA. We got spanked. I've swatted mine on the butt before. They've also gotten a pinch on the arm when acting up in public. That's few and far between, but immediately rectifies their behavior. None of them are violent or have issues controlling themselves or are afraid of me.

They are also incredibly well-behaved. That's not just my bias, but from compliments I get from teachers, other parents, strangers (like when we are in a nice restaurant or airplane.) While it obviously makes me proud of my kids and I appreciate it, it's a shame when people feel the need to compliment you/your children simply for your kids acting right. That says something about the current generation of kids raised on time-outs, and talking about your feelings instead of disciplining them.

This describes my kids as well and not only have a I never spanked them or otherwise used physical punishment, but you would likely say I do not punish at all. No time outs, no taking privileges except when it is a natural consequence, highly praise good behavior and explain why bad behavior is wrong. You do not need to spank kids to have well behaved kids.

I wouldn't pat yourself on your back. Your kids may have been born with a milder temperament.

My kids were pretty easy regarding sleep and feeding. I know some babies have a harder time with those things. It's not necessarily anything the parents did or didn't do.

I don't think she's patting herself on the back, but pointing out the reality that there are other ways of managing and teaching your kids good behavior. I've got a super strong willed child. So I know where you are coming from on the challenging kid front. But there are effective parenting techniques that don't require harsh discipline. Spoiled kids come from neglect and permissiveness, not lack of harsh discipline.

[Anonymous]

So many experts jumping in to ruin this thread.

[Anonymous]

I was spanked occasionally as a child but never had my mouth washed out with soap. I am 43 and grew up on the West Coast.

I am completely against spanking. I think only bad parents spank. There is a reason the Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend spanking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 30. Born and raised in Northern Virginia. My parents were raised in the country in VA and WVA. We got spanked. I've swatted mine on the butt before. They've also gotten a pinch on the arm when acting up in public. That's few and far between, but immediately rectifies their behavior. None of them are violent or have issues controlling themselves or are afraid of me.

They are also incredibly well-behaved. That's not just my bias, but from compliments I get from teachers, other parents, strangers (like when we are in a nice restaurant or airplane.) While it obviously makes me proud of my kids and I appreciate it, it's a shame when people feel the need to compliment you/your children simply for your kids acting right. That says something about the current generation of kids raised on time-outs, and talking about your feelings instead of disciplining them.

This describes my kids as well and not only have a I never spanked them or otherwise used physical punishment, but you would likely say I do not punish at all. No time outs, no taking privileges except when it is a natural consequence, highly praise good behavior and explain why bad behavior is wrong. You do not need to spank kids to have well behaved kids.

I wouldn't pat yourself on your back. Your kids may have been born with a milder temperament.

My kids were pretty easy regarding sleep and feeding. I know some babies have a harder time with those things. It's not necessarily anything the parents did or didn't do.

I don't think she's patting herself on the back, but pointing out the reality that there are other ways of managing and teaching your kids good behavior. I've got a super strong willed child. So I know where you are coming from on the challenging kid front. But there are effective parenting techniques that don't require harsh discipline. Spoiled kids come from neglect and permissiveness, not lack of harsh discipline.

I agree most kids respond well to the "standard" punishments, but not all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was spanked occasionally as a child but never had my mouth washed out with soap. I am 43 and grew up on the West Coast.

I am completely against spanking. I think only bad parents spank. There is a reason the Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend spanking.

Please. There are, I'm sure, several anti-spankers that also don't follow the AAP's recommendation on vaccines.

[Anonymous]

I'm 34 and was spanked by many relatives as a kid. I was mouthy and I deserved it - I had to pick my own switch from the yard to get switched with and then we had a paddle. I don't consider myself to have ever been abused, and I know when to shut up as an adult. I'm not sure any other punishment would have been effective, since there wasn't really anything to take away that meant a lot to me (no TV, game system, phone, computer, etc.). I hope to avoid it with my child (he's only 2), but I won't raise a bratty monster.

[Anonymous]

Im 33. I was spanked at least one to two times a month. Both my parents would spank. Military family.
The spanking on the butt probably ended around 9, but they would still smack my arm or twist the skin until about 14. It was always done in anger, not as a thought out punishment. Certainly wasn't enough to be child abuse, but I would never do that to my kids. The worst part was that once they had time to think about it, they would follow up with grounding- No tv for two weeks, no friends, etc. I was a well-behaved child growing up and rarely back talked, but minor offences were blown into huge deals. I loved my parents but I was definitely a bit afraid of them.

[Anonymous]

Real question: how do you wash a kid's mouth out with soap?

I kind of vaguely remember this threat so it may have been used when I was a kid, but not sure of that....we got spanked occasionally, hand only (and it hurt). Not once we were bigger. I'm in the camp of 'spanking is not necessarily abuse' (though to me, hitting with an object is a different thing and not ok).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Real question: how do you wash a kid's mouth out with soap?

I kind of vaguely remember this threat so it may have been used when I was a kid, but not sure of that....we got spanked occasionally, hand only (and it hurt). Not once we were bigger. I'm in the camp of 'spanking is not necessarily abuse' (though to me, hitting with an object is a different thing and not ok).[/quote
My mom made me out the bar of soap in my mouth and spit it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 30. Born and raised in Northern Virginia. My parents were raised in the country in VA and WVA. We got spanked. I've swatted mine on the butt before. They've also gotten a pinch on the arm when acting up in public. That's few and far between, but immediately rectifies their behavior. None of them are violent or have issues controlling themselves or are afraid of me.

They are also incredibly well-behaved. That's not just my bias, but from compliments I get from teachers, other parents, strangers (like when we are in a nice restaurant or airplane.) While it obviously makes me proud of my kids and I appreciate it, it's a shame when people feel the need to compliment you/your children simply for your kids acting right. That says something about the current generation of kids raised on time-outs, and talking about your feelings instead of disciplining them.

This describes my kids as well and not only have a I never spanked them or otherwise used physical punishment, but you would likely say I do not punish at all. No time outs, no taking privileges except when it is a natural consequence, highly praise good behavior and explain why bad behavior is wrong. You do not need to spank kids to have well behaved kids.

This just seems impossible. I've never heard of or known any parent that doesn't punish their child (well, any parents that have control of their children). It's not possible for a child to never do something wrong. If this is true, thank your lucky stars that your children are perfect creatures, or just need to be told "that's wrong" and immediately stop and never repeat the behavior. How old are your children?

[Anonymous]

I'm 35 and remember one of the daycare providers at my daycare washing out a kid's mouth with soap for cursing too much. I must have been 4 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was talking to a friend about this earlier today. She said she was spanked and also had her mouth washed out with soap a couple of times as a kid. Maybe it's because I'm young (28) and from the Northeast, but I was pretty surprised. I know that kind of thing was pretty common back in the day, but I didn't know it still happened, or at least not often. I was always talked to or sent to my room when I acted up.

Did you ever get spankings or soap growing up, or did your parents use other methods? And how old are you and what part of the country are you from?

Both, 38 and from the Northeast. Doubt that much changed in the 10 years between me and you. *rolls eyes*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Real question: how do you wash a kid's mouth out with soap?

I kind of vaguely remember this threat so it may have been used when I was a kid, but not sure of that....we got spanked occasionally, hand only (and it hurt). Not once we were bigger. I'm in the camp of 'spanking is not necessarily abuse' (though to me, hitting with an object is a different thing and not ok).

You stick a bar of soap in the kid's mouth, scrub it around, and then make him rinse. Not really rocket science -- although, if you're one of those people who have only used liquid soap, I guess I can see the difficulty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 30. Born and raised in Northern Virginia. My parents were raised in the country in VA and WVA. We got spanked. I've swatted mine on the butt before. They've also gotten a pinch on the arm when acting up in public. That's few and far between, but immediately rectifies their behavior. None of them are violent or have issues controlling themselves or are afraid of me.

They are also incredibly well-behaved. That's not just my bias, but from compliments I get from teachers, other parents, strangers (like when we are in a nice restaurant or airplane.) While it obviously makes me proud of my kids and I appreciate it, it's a shame when people feel the need to compliment you/your children simply for your kids acting right. That says something about the current generation of kids raised on time-outs, and talking about your feelings instead of disciplining them.

This describes my kids as well and not only have a I never spanked them or otherwise used physical punishment, but you would likely say I do not punish at all. No time outs, no taking privileges except when it is a natural consequence, highly praise good behavior and explain why bad behavior is wrong. You do not need to spank kids to have well behaved kids.

This just seems impossible. I've never heard of or known any parent that doesn't punish their child (well, any parents that have control of their children). It's not possible for a child to never do something wrong. If this is true, thank your lucky stars that your children are perfect creatures, or just need to be told "that's wrong" and immediately stop and never repeat the behavior. How old are your children?

Not that poster but it's not that a child does nothing wrong. They aren't perfect. Its about how a parent responds to that. It's that guidance takes precedence over punishment.

http://parentingbeyondpunishment.com/