Talking to DD about classmate with Downs Syndrome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try looking at your own post through the lens that you are speaking to moms of disabled kids, not through a bullhorn or to students.

I was not speaking to moms of disabled kids, PP. I was speaking to the mom of a nondisabled child who was asking what to tell her daughter about the child with Down Syndrome.

If you say someone with Down Syndrome is "weak" but your own nondisabled child is "strong," you're being paternalistic, and paternalism is the opposite of self-determination.

No, you were talking to me -- as the mom who posted the above language. And I have a disabled child! A severely disabled child! Wow, I'm sorry my suggested language did not pass muster, but this is a helpful forum for moms to come together, not a place for you to practice intellectual masturbation. I'm just trying to get through my fucking day, asshole. I've got 99 problems, and whether paternalism is the opposite of self-determination is not one of them.

I am truly sorry I offended you. I was indeed an asshole and I cannot apologize enough for my rudeness. I was trying, very ineptly, to point out that people with disabilities have the same rights to self-determination that nondisabled people have, and this is still a huge problem in society's perception of people with disabilities. I have encountered this directly this week I am fucking tired of it. I am tired of the assumptions people make about my own kid or anybody else's kid with a disability. But me being tired of it is no excuse to be rude and pedantic, and I am truly sorry. Also mortified. And also sorry to go off on a tirade here that is obviously displacing my own anger at people I can't say this to directly.

Thank you PP. I can relate to all of that...assumptions, bad week, displaced anger. Go in peace!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try looking at your own post through the lens that you are speaking to moms of disabled kids, not through a bullhorn or to students.

I was not speaking to moms of disabled kids, PP. I was speaking to the mom of a nondisabled child who was asking what to tell her daughter about the child with Down Syndrome.

If you say someone with Down Syndrome is "weak" but your own nondisabled child is "strong," you're being paternalistic, and paternalism is the opposite of self-determination.

No, you were talking to me -- as the mom who posted the above language. And I have a disabled child! A severely disabled child! Wow, I'm sorry my suggested language did not pass muster, but this is a helpful forum for moms to come together, not a place for you to practice intellectual masturbation. I'm just trying to get through my fucking day, asshole. I've got 99 problems, and whether paternalism is the opposite of self-determination is not one of them.

I am truly sorry I offended you. I was indeed an asshole and I cannot apologize enough for my rudeness. I was trying, very ineptly, to point out that people with disabilities have the same rights to self-determination that nondisabled people have, and this is still a huge problem in society's perception of people with disabilities. I have encountered this directly this week I am fucking tired of it. I am tired of the assumptions people make about my own kid or anybody else's kid with a disability. But me being tired of it is no excuse to be rude and pedantic, and I am truly sorry. Also mortified. And also sorry to go off on a tirade here that is obviously displacing my own anger at people I can't say this to directly.

Thank you PP. I can relate to all of that...assumptions, bad week, displaced anger. Go in peace!

Thank YOU. You have a generous spirit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try looking at your own post through the lens that you are speaking to moms of disabled kids, not through a bullhorn or to students.

I was not speaking to moms of disabled kids, PP. I was speaking to the mom of a nondisabled child who was asking what to tell her daughter about the child with Down Syndrome.

If you say someone with Down Syndrome is "weak" but your own nondisabled child is "strong," you're being paternalistic, and paternalism is the opposite of self-determination.

No, you were talking to me -- as the mom who posted the above language. And I have a disabled child! A severely disabled child! Wow, I'm sorry my suggested language did not pass muster, but this is a helpful forum for moms to come together, not a place for you to practice intellectual masturbation. I'm just trying to get through my fucking day, asshole. I've got 99 problems, and whether paternalism is the opposite of self-determination is not one of them.

I am truly sorry I offended you. I was indeed an asshole and I cannot apologize enough for my rudeness. I was trying, very ineptly, to point out that people with disabilities have the same rights to self-determination that nondisabled people have, and this is still a huge problem in society's perception of people with disabilities. I have encountered this directly this week I am fucking tired of it. I am tired of the assumptions people make about my own kid or anybody else's kid with a disability. But me being tired of it is no excuse to be rude and pedantic, and I am truly sorry. Also mortified. And also sorry to go off on a tirade here that is obviously displacing my own anger at people I can't say this to directly.

Thank you PP. I can relate to all of that...assumptions, bad week, displaced anger. Go in peace!

Thank YOU. You have a generous spirit.

I love when people kiss and make up. It's a shame this doesn't happen more on DCUM. Best wishes to all!