How do people afford kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, you don't need $2k per month on care. You can find that for less.

We bought a really small TH so we could stay at 1/4 gross, now with salary increases it is 1/4 take home. I regret often that we don't have a SF and a yard, or even a bit bigger TH but can't leave and really, I have a roof over my head so, I try to focus on that.

We don't eat anywhere fancy, cook most nights and bring lunch. We still struggle with giving up delivery and do spend to have Friday Night pizza or Chinese or Italian. I try to push for pizza since it's cheaper.

Haircuts at $50 every three months are a splurge.

Stagger kids so only have one in care at a time.

Savings are meager, sad, but enough to cover larger house needs/ emergencies (havoc, water heater, random ER other visits post copay, etc). I feel really bad reading here, so I try not to. 401k is decent, though, a bright light.

I'd like to go on a vacation. Once the second is in elem that will happen.

We are cutting cable tv to bring the bill down $50 a month.

Library not bookstores.

I buy clothes and shoes only if necessary. Same with DH.

This is not the middle class American dream

[Anonymous]

Roadkills my dear. Free meat.

[Anonymous]

You make it work. We starting cutting back when we started trying to get pregnant and were able to save to build up our emergency fund the year we spent trying and then throughout the pregnancy. The good news is you have no time to shop for yourself, no fancy dinners, no happy hours, no movie outings. I mean we do go out on date nights, but its rare now rather than every Friday & Saturday night like the past. Now our splurge is Friday night carry out.

We pay $1100/month for an in home daycare in MD, which is a bargain. The good centers in our area are $1600 so we saved some and we love our provider so much. I am a crazy couponer when it comes to things like diapers, wipes & baby food. I'm buying 2 bulk packs of diapers today at Target because this week you get a $20 gift card plus 5% off with red card and 5% off with cartwheel! I buy whatever I can at consignment and other clothes for DS I shop clearance and sales. We've gotten great deals on toys on Craigslist - $30 for a $300 kitchen, a $5 outdoor swing, a $10 water table etc.

So basically two things 1) start cutting back 2) be smart with your money and learn how to save

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plan ages of kids too - one at a time in daycare!

Except, when they get to college age, you're more likely to get financial aid if you have more than one in college at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you don't need $2k per month on care. You can find that for less.

We bought a really small TH so we could stay at 1/4 gross, now with salary increases it is 1/4 take home. I regret often that we don't have a SF and a yard, or even a bit bigger TH but can't leave and really, I have a roof over my head so, I try to focus on that.

We don't eat anywhere fancy, cook most nights and bring lunch. We still struggle with giving up delivery and do spend to have Friday Night pizza or Chinese or Italian. I try to push for pizza since it's cheaper.

Haircuts at $50 every three months are a splurge.

Stagger kids so only have one in care at a time.

Savings are meager, sad, but enough to cover larger house needs/ emergencies (havoc, water heater, random ER other visits post copay, etc). I feel really bad reading here, so I try not to. 401k is decent, though, a bright light.

I'd like to go on a vacation. Once the second is in elem that will happen.

We are cutting cable tv to bring the bill down $50 a month.

Library not bookstores.

I buy clothes and shoes only if necessary. Same with DH.

This is not the middle class American dream

Agree. I am a PP and agree that this is not the kind of life most people aspire to. It's the nature of this area - the cost of living is so insanely high here.

[Anonymous]

This is why many people have a stay at home parent. Take the parent with the lower salary. Add up the costs of daycare and the extra commute for pickup and drop offs and whatnot and see if what is left after those expenses is still worth netting. If it's not, that parent can choose to SAH. In our case, whatever salary I earned would basically be eaten up by having two young kids in full time daycare. So until they are both in all day school and the expense can be reduced to after care, I stay home.

[Anonymous]

$180k/yr total HHI.
1/3 to mortgage.
That's $60k/year to mortgage.
Which is $5k/month.

How big is this estate you live on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hah... I was literally just texting the wife about this cause I paid our credit card bill for this month.

Thanks for scheduling a payment on Oct 27, 2014, with Online Banking. Here are your payment details:

Payment amount:
$11356.09

Payment date:
Oct 31, 2014

If you see an error with this scheduled payment, just sign in to Online Banking—we’re here to help you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

....

WHERE DOES IT ALL GO !?!

Look at you credit card statement and it will tell you. Download it into quicken and put it into categories. Do this or 6 months and you will see where it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$180k/yr total HHI.
1/3 to mortgage.
That's $60k/year to mortgage.
Which is $5k/month.

How big is this estate you live on?

She said 1/3 of their takehome. AFTER taxes, healthcare and 401k have been removed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again -- thanks to everyone who has given me some insight on how to cut back. It makes me feel better to know there are others who are making it work. A lot of threads I read on here make me feel like I'm falling behind because I don't have 3 million in net worth by 30, could not afford to live in some urban city neighborhood that requires paying for private schools, etc.

I am inspired by those of you who have really cut back on your dining out budget, cable, salon spending, etc. (I know these are easy things we can/should cut back on) and I am going to work on better budgeting money before we spend it. I also think we need to learn to rsvp no to out of town weddings, because seriously -- we have spent at at least 5k going to weddings this year!

Maybe 2k was a bit of an exaggeration for daycare -- I know some of my very wealthy friends spend this much, but I imagine there must be some cheaper options?

And to those of you commenting on the amount I spend on my mortgage -- trust me, I would love to not have to spend that much. But breaking into home ownership nowadays requires a stretch. And even with stretching, I have read enough of the real estate thread to know that I am considered one of "the poors" around here!

$2k/month is about what you'll pay for a center-based daycare in the city or close-in suburbs, or for your half of a nanny share if you go that route. There are cheaper options, primarily in-home daycares or center-based daycares further out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! 1/4 to 1/5 of take home?? So seriously, in our case that's 800 per month for us after retirement and insurance premiums. Not happening. Where do these misers live?

MoCo. $2600/mo mortgage.

And how long ago did you buy your first house?

1 year ago. Do you think everyone buys an $850K house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you don't need $2k per month on care. You can find that for less.

We bought a really small TH so we could stay at 1/4 gross, now with salary increases it is 1/4 take home. I regret often that we don't have a SF and a yard, or even a bit bigger TH but can't leave and really, I have a roof over my head so, I try to focus on that.

We don't eat anywhere fancy, cook most nights and bring lunch. We still struggle with giving up delivery and do spend to have Friday Night pizza or Chinese or Italian. I try to push for pizza since it's cheaper.

Haircuts at $50 every three months are a splurge.

Stagger kids so only have one in care at a time.

Savings are meager, sad, but enough to cover larger house needs/ emergencies (havoc, water heater, random ER other visits post copay, etc). I feel really bad reading here, so I try not to. 401k is decent, though, a bright light.

I'd like to go on a vacation. Once the second is in elem that will happen.

We are cutting cable tv to bring the bill down $50 a month.

Library not bookstores.

I buy clothes and shoes only if necessary. Same with DH.

This is not the middle class American dream

It's the middle class reality. Says the mom of two, double fed family.

[Anonymous]

We bought a 2 BR townhouse inside the beltway, and then we had twins. Ha! So 2 in daycare and HHI of (gasp!) 110k. We make it work. We live in a school district that people turn their nose up at (FARMS! ESOL!) We don't eat out. We get haircuts at the HairCuttery, and we buy our clothes at Target and Kohls. While people may think whe are "the Poors," I have actually been poor and this ain't it.

For most of us, kids mean sacrifice. If you're not ready for that, wait to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again -- thanks to everyone who has given me some insight on how to cut back. It makes me feel better to know there are others who are making it work. A lot of threads I read on here make me feel like I'm falling behind because I don't have 3 million in net worth by 30, could not afford to live in some urban city neighborhood that requires paying for private schools, etc.

I am inspired by those of you who have really cut back on your dining out budget, cable, salon spending, etc. (I know these are easy things we can/should cut back on) and I am going to work on better budgeting money before we spend it. I also think we need to learn to rsvp no to out of town weddings, because seriously -- we have spent at at least 5k going to weddings this year!

Maybe 2k was a bit of an exaggeration for daycare -- I know some of my very wealthy friends spend this much, but I imagine there must be some cheaper options?

And to those of you commenting on the amount I spend on my mortgage -- trust me, I would love to not have to spend that much. But breaking into home ownership nowadays requires a stretch. And even with stretching, I have read enough of the real estate thread to know that I am considered one of "the poors" around here!

If you are commited to a budget you will be fine. You will need to make sacrifices. I was just talking with a college friend last night. She's got a few grey hairs and was wondering if she should start coloring her hair. I told her I had no plans to start because it was just too expensive. And yes, cut out the weddings. I cringe at what we spent to attend weddings in the height of the wedding frenzy - and when I realize that 10 years later, only half the couples are still married. And the key is not to compare yourselves to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you don't need $2k per month on care. You can find that for less.

We bought a really small TH so we could stay at 1/4 gross, now with salary increases it is 1/4 take home. I regret often that we don't have a SF and a yard, or even a bit bigger TH but can't leave and really, I have a roof over my head so, I try to focus on that.

We don't eat anywhere fancy, cook most nights and bring lunch. We still struggle with giving up delivery and do spend to have Friday Night pizza or Chinese or Italian. I try to push for pizza since it's cheaper.

Haircuts at $50 every three months are a splurge.

Stagger kids so only have one in care at a time.

Savings are meager, sad, but enough to cover larger house needs/ emergencies (havoc, water heater, random ER other visits post copay, etc). I feel really bad reading here, so I try not to. 401k is decent, though, a bright light.

I'd like to go on a vacation. Once the second is in elem that will happen.

We are cutting cable tv to bring the bill down $50 a month.

Library not bookstores.

I buy clothes and shoes only if necessary. Same with DH.

This is not the middle class American dream

What is the middle-class American dream? Hint: It ain't Range Rovers and two weeks in St. Bart's at Christmas, despite what you see on DCUM.