What's it like being married to a professor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for the professor couples (I'm the OP, thanks for all the replies): do you plan to send your kids to the professor's school? I think you can do it with very little in tuition fees?

It's free if our kids go to DH's school; the school pays half if they go elsewhere. If they want to go there and it seems to be a good fit, that's fine, but we won't push them in that direction.

[Anonymous]

As things stand now, with tenure no longer what it was, a professor-student affair can have severe and negative impact on the prof's career. Those going on and on about professor-student affairs are living in a previous century.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for the professor couples (I'm the OP, thanks for all the replies): do you plan to send your kids to the professor's school? I think you can do it with very little in tuition fees?

No, but through agreements with both of our Universities, we have a range of tuition free choices for our kids. But they have to qualify academically and stay eligible once they're in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As things stand now, with tenure no longer what it was, a professor-student affair can have severe and negative impact on the prof's career. Those going on and on about professor-student affairs are living in a previous century.

Yeah, schools are pretty strict about this these days. Not saying it never happens but faculty know they're not supposed to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for the professor couples (I'm the OP, thanks for all the replies): do you plan to send your kids to the professor's school? I think you can do it with very little in tuition fees?

No, but through agreements with both of our Universities, we have a range of tuition free choices for our kids. But they have to qualify academically and stay eligible once they're in.

Actually, I was surprised to find out that it was easier for faculty children to get into our university because it saved the university from having to pay out tuition benefits to another school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, OP, why are you asking about this? Are you dating someone who is or hopes to be a prof? Or are you writing a novel and looking for background?

If you're dating someone and want advice, tell us what his/her field is and, if they're in grad school, whether they have a research or teaching assistantship.

Mostly just curiosity, but yes I am dating a PhD candidate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, OP, why are you asking about this? Are you dating someone who is or hopes to be a prof? Or are you writing a novel and looking for background?

If you're dating someone and want advice, tell us what his/her field is and, if they're in grad school, whether they have a research or teaching assistantship.

Mostly just curiosity, but yes I am dating a PhD candidate!

And he's in a science field.

[Anonymous]

Also, I'm fascinated by these tuition arrangements! How does the exchange stuff work? So if you teach at Harvard, you get tuition breaks at other Ivy Leagues? You teach at Northwestern, and the other Big 10 schools become accessible?

Everyone should become a professor! You get housing subsidized, you get your kids' college paid for. Those are literally the two biggest expenses of grown-up life.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of some of my teachers' kids at my private K-12 school in India. It was an extremely expensive school and the teachers were eking out a strained middle-class existence, but they all got to send their children to the school for free if the children had good enough grades. That made me happy for them.

[Anonymous]

My friend's father taught at Penn State and I'm pretty sure he only had to pay $200 per semester, or maybe it was even $200 per year. Amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone should become a professor! You get housing subsidized, you get your kids' college paid for. Those are literally the two biggest expenses of grown-up life.

Sadly, no housing subsidy for us (or anyone else we know).

[Anonymous]

http://gvshp.org/blog/2012/05/14/what-nyu-doesnt-want-you-to-know-about-faculty-housing-at-washington-square-village/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can you think a man loving teaching is sexy. Sounds like you have some unresolved daddy issues. Sorry, it's just creepy "ooh, teach me something mr authority figure!" Did you have an inappropriate relationship with someone at some point?
Every male professor I have ever met is a huge asshole, control freak. With the possible exception of one I know who is in some really high level math something. They expect everyone to listen to them and never question their opinion.

The economics professors I met look like the type you describe.

[Anonymous]

Few schools give housing subsidies. Although we did get some assistance at one university in an expensive city. DH is with a state school and only gets free tuition there, no discounts elsewhere. I was a faculty brat and went to the state school where my dad taught for 400 per semester--that was half tuition back then. A benefit of marrying a professor is that you meet interesting people from all over the world. The down side is that they have limited choice about where they end up. They go where the job is. Not a reason to prejudge a relationship. Marry who you like.

[Anonymous]

The job market for professors is very small and limited, and very difficult. Often one ends up in a nameless college in the middle of nowhere.