What's it like being married to a professor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a troll. Also know of quite a few profs who ended up sleeping with their college aged students. There is a reason men go into teaching, it's not the money. It's a power trip for them.

Sounds like you know some real winners. Of course people don't go into teaching for the money. That doesn't mean that professors go into the profession because they are on a power trip.

[Anonymous]

My dad is a professor and he's a great dad who got to spend lots of time with us. I loved going to his office to play on the typewriter and talk to the students. My parents never had trouble finding a babysitter and I got to go trick or treating in the dorms.

We were always on the low end of the $ side among our friends but I got to see and hang out with my dad a lot.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP who said I th it's sexy that he's smart and loves teaching. No unresolved issues, daddy issues or weird authority kink. He loves learning and values curiosity and critical thinking. Clearly the PP could use some of the latter.

I think PP must've had some bad teachers. I only know one professor who had an inappropriate relationship with a student. I don't think your average professor is on any bigger power trip than your average doctor or lawyer or lobbyist.

[Anonymous]

We're both professors, both insanely boring, anti-social, semi autistic, and ego maniacs.

Nah, in reality, we're exactly like any other couple. Neither of us wants to or would ever sleep with a student or assistant. We love sports. Raise our kids the best we can. Have a few friends, mostly not in academics. Both dedicated to our careers, family, and each other. I guess we are insanely boring, after all...

[Anonymous]

Advantage: Moving a lot. Disadvantage: Moving a lot.

Have lived in two other countries due to DH's academic career. And opportunities to spend some summers in cool places as well. Lots of moves makes it difficult to prioritize own career. Have met cool people along the way. Big advantage is job security for DH with tenure.

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of professors who have cheated with students or other professors but I wouldn't say it's a majority or anything.

[Anonymous]

Upside of tenure is job stability. We keep a backup savings account for if I lose my job but not for him. However, it's hard for many academics to move after tenure so if you don't like where you're living, you may have no choice but to make the best of it.

OTOH, if you marry someone before they go up for tenure and they don't get it, you will likely be moving again. And your dh/dw may never get settled in the profession. Job market is very bad.

[Anonymous]

I teach as an adjunct and am married to a tenured professor. I don't really consider myself a professor because I have a real job outside of academia. My husband has a real job too--to publish. That was his job before tenure. After tenure, he can take a much more relaxed view of it. He still publishes, but because he likes it. And if he misses a cycle, there's next year. Our future no longer depends on when and where he places those damn pieces.

Our social circle is half academics and half friends met through our kids. We like both equally well. DH is not usually the smartest guy in the room because, while brilliant, he has no practical skills. I still have to keep him informed that the milk is still, in fact, on the shelf behind the OJ daily, like it always is. I consider myself just as smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a troll. Also know of quite a few profs who ended up sleeping with their college aged students. There is a reason men go into teaching, it's not the money. It's a power trip for them.

Or they want to do research. I wanted to be a professor, but when I received my Doctorate, there were not really any openings in my field. So, I went into gov't funded R & D. Pays better, but less secure.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. I'd never marry someone with such low earning potential. If you're going to marry someone intelligent, why not marry someone intelligent enough to put that to work for a grown up paycheck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. I'd never marry someone with such low earning potential. If you're going to marry someone intelligent, why not marry someone intelligent enough to put that to work for a grown up paycheck?

This is not informed. In many fields, including my DH's, professors make comfortably into the low six figures for a flexible, secure, relatively low stress job that rarely requires more than 9-5 work and offers interesting and rewarding work on the topic of your personal interest. There is no better job available anywhere, if you can get it. The job market for such positions is very tight, but if you get one, it is a great field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're both professors, both insanely boring, anti-social, semi autistic, and ego maniacs.

Nah, in reality, we're exactly like any other couple. Neither of us wants to or would ever sleep with a student or assistant. We love sports. Raise our kids the best we can. Have a few friends, mostly not in academics. Both dedicated to our careers, family, and each other. I guess we are insanely boring, after all...

Sounds like it indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. I'd never marry someone with such low earning potential. If you're going to marry someone intelligent, why not marry someone intelligent enough to put that to work for a grown up paycheck?

This is not informed. In many fields, including my DH's, professors make comfortably into the low six figures for a flexible, secure, relatively low stress job that rarely requires more than 9-5 work and offers interesting and rewarding work on the topic of your personal interest. There is no better job available anywhere, if you can get it. The job market for such positions is very tight, but if you get one, it is a great field.

Of course the job market is tight.

Being an educator is one of the few professions that you can completely suck at, exert minimal effort and STILL collect a paycheck....it's in line with being a fed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marrying a man who thinks he's the smartest man in the world. SNOOZE.

Why do you think a professor would consider himself/herself the smartest? If your knowledge is a circle, the more you know, the more you are in contact with the unknown. It makes you humble. The people with little knowledge are the most arrogant and fearless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. I'd never marry someone with such low earning potential. If you're going to marry someone intelligent, why not marry someone intelligent enough to put that to work for a grown up paycheck?

At least you're honest.