I'm getting bored being a SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a job. This will not make you happy long term. And encourage your spouse to get a more family friendly job once you're working. It's his child too - not just your responsibility.

She has a job. A very hard one. OP, it is a stage. It gets better

Agree with you. And who ARE these people who think getting a job is the answer, anyway? You're exhausted and bored as a SAHM? I have an idea. Get a job! That will solve it! Here's what will help: Get up at 5 a.m., pump, make bottles, pack a bag, then get yourself dressed and go fight traffic to sit in an office and deal with demanding clients/ coworkers for 9 hours, fight traffic again, race to get baby from daycare before the dreaded dollar a minute penalty kicks in, come home, start Job number 2. Cook dinner, clean house, get laundry done, wash bottles, try to find 15 minutes to see said baby and husband. And...REPEAT. Until Dead!

Agree. She needs a shrink and possibly meds more than a job. Hire a mommy's helper and/or get a babysitter so you can have more time for yourself. Big ((((HUGS))))

I remember this age with no family/friends support and with a spouse who travels a lot for his job. It's hard but I promise, it'll get MUCH MUCH better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are overwhelmed taking care of one child. You are depressed and have no motivation.

You need a job.

You don't need tennis. Or mom friends. Or coffee dates. You need to do something meaningful with your life, and for many reasons, staying at home is not meaningful enough. No harm in that. Get a job. You are withering on the vine sitting at home.

OP here. But what you're saying assumes that one feels one's job is meaningful. Not all jobs are. Many jobs are boring. I did not feel that my last job/career was meaningful. I dreaded going into work every day. Many people would love to find a meaningful job but realistically they can't get one. So unless I change career fields, perhaps go back to school for another master's degree, I'm not sure that I wouldn't be withering on the vine sitting in an office.

You poo-poo everything.

I agress with another poster. You seem plain old depressed. One child is a breeze. There are single moms who do this and work and manage to be happy.

OP - you are exhausted and tired. Find a way to get more sleep. Sleep train that child. I agree that a job isn't your answer given your husband's work situation - you will end up having a job and just being more exhausted. Get more rest, and find things to do -- yes, maybe tennis and mom friends and coffee dates -- that will be fun. Raising your child is plenty meaningful enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a job. This will not make you happy long term. And encourage your spouse to get a more family friendly job once you're working. It's his child too - not just your responsibility.

She has a job. A very hard one. OP, it is a stage. It gets better

Agree with you. And who ARE these people who think getting a job is the answer, anyway? You're exhausted and bored as a SAHM? I have an idea. Get a job! That will solve it! Here's what will help: Get up at 5 a.m., pump, make bottles, pack a bag, then get yourself dressed and go fight traffic to sit in an office and deal with demanding clients/ coworkers for 9 hours, fight traffic again, race to get baby from daycare before the dreaded dollar a minute penalty kicks in, come home, start Job number 2. Cook dinner, clean house, get laundry done, wash bottles, try to find 15 minutes to see said baby and husband. And...REPEAT. Until Dead!

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a stay at home mom who recently went back to work full time. Life is now so crazy busy and exhausting, I would go back to being home in a second if I had the option.

Me too! I realize it's hard when you are in the thick of it. But man, do I miss being home. After being home for a few years, I'm back in the cubicle full-time.

I worry about me or my kids getting sick because as a new employee, I have to prove myself and can't afford to take time off. Can't chaperone the field trips or work the book fairs like I used to do. Our house is a mess. I am EXHAUSTED when I come home and have to run out for modeling clay for the landforms project, or more juice boxes, or I have to stay up and help with homework/projects all night. Working full-time and raising kids SUCKS. I'll take your lack of personal fulfillment and gym time any day.

How are either of these comments at all helpful to the OP? She says she is not happy in her current situation. You talking about how you don't like YOUR situation is not helpful! If you hate your situation so much, do something to change it or start your own thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a stay at home mom who recently went back to work full time. Life is now so crazy busy and exhausting, I would go back to being home in a second if I had the option.

Me too! I realize it's hard when you are in the thick of it. But man, do I miss being home. After being home for a few years, I'm back in the cubicle full-time.

I worry about me or my kids getting sick because as a new employee, I have to prove myself and can't afford to take time off. Can't chaperone the field trips or work the book fairs like I used to do. Our house is a mess. I am EXHAUSTED when I come home and have to run out for modeling clay for the landforms project, or more juice boxes, or I have to stay up and help with homework/projects all night. Working full-time and raising kids SUCKS. I'll take your lack of personal fulfillment and gym time any day.

How are either of these comments at all helpful to the OP? She says she is not happy in her current situation. You talking about how you don't like YOUR situation is not helpful! If you hate your situation so much, do something to change it or start your own thread.

NP. It's helpful since these are people who have btdt and getting a *job* as so many have suggested will not solve OP's problems. In fact, sounds like it'll make it worse.

[Anonymous]

SAHM here. 12 months is a tough age. Mine is now 17 months and we have a ton of fun. Once they are walking and talking, there is so much you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your drained and exhausted from raising one child? Sounds more like your just depressed.

OP here. Yes, when you have no local family to give you a break, no support network, when your spouse works 70 hour weeks plus weekends plus travel (so I now have his hours too which is exhausting), and your child isn't sleeping through the night, then yes, I am drained and exhausted from raising one child.

OP, some of us moms are exhausted like you and cannot rely on family or DH to help out. But at least you have the luxury to stay at home and not have to go to work everyday. I get that you had a menial job and did not make sense financially to keep working while paying for child care. But it sounds like you are lacking goals- career, finance, etc. You have to decide what you want to be when you grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your drained and exhausted from raising one child? Sounds more like your just depressed.

OP here. Yes, when you have no local family to give you a break, no support network, when your spouse works 70 hour weeks plus weekends plus travel (so I now have his hours too which is exhausting), and your child isn't sleeping through the night, then yes, I am drained and exhausted from raising one child.

OP, some of us moms are exhausted like you and cannot rely on family or DH to help out. But at least you have the luxury to stay at home and not have to go to work everyday. I get that you had a menial job and did not make sense financially to keep working while paying for child care. But it sounds like you are lacking goals- career, finance, etc. You have to decide what you want to be when you grow up.

Lucky for you, you can decide to be kinder at any point in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Your drained and exhausted from raising one child? Sounds more like your just depressed.


OP here. Yes, when you have no local family to give you a break, no support network, when your spouse works 70 hour weeks plus weekends plus travel (so I now have his hours too which is exhausting), and your child isn't sleeping through the night, then yes, I am drained and exhausted from raising one child.


OP, some of us moms are exhausted like you and cannot rely on family or DH to help out. But at least you have the luxury to stay at home and not have to go to work everyday. I get that you had a menial job and did not make sense financially to keep working while paying for child care. But it sounds like you are lacking goals- career, finance, etc. You have to decide what you want to be when you grow up.

+100. This is your problem, OP. You're expecting things to just happen, that a meaningful job will fall in your lap. You need to make goals and create your life, not just exist in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Your drained and exhausted from raising one child? Sounds more like your just depressed.


OP here. Yes, when you have no local family to give you a break, no support network, when your spouse works 70 hour weeks plus weekends plus travel (so I now have his hours too which is exhausting), and your child isn't sleeping through the night, then yes, I am drained and exhausted from raising one child.


OP, some of us moms are exhausted like you and cannot rely on family or DH to help out. But at least you have the luxury to stay at home and not have to go to work everyday. I get that you had a menial job and did not make sense financially to keep working while paying for child care. But it sounds like you are lacking goals- career, finance, etc. You have to decide what you want to be when you grow up.

+100. This is your problem, OP. You're expecting things to just happen, that a meaningful job will fall in your lap. You need to make goals and create your life, not just exist in it.

I don't want to minimize your situation, but want to kindly suggest that when you are bored and tired, it's easy to feel hopeless. Make a goal to get out of the house with your baby every day. Find out what she'll tolerate. Maybe you can browse for books (crafting books?) at the library while she's in a carrier and then let her crawl around in the kids' section. That's also a good place to meet people. Even if you just take her somewhere and window shop. Just get out! If you're in Chantilly and haven't met other SAHMs, look for a Mom's group in Dulles/Ashburn, which is not too far. I'm a WOHM in that area and all my friends are SAHMs. And...take heart, this exhausting, what-happened-to-my-life, 24/7 stage is trial by fire. Even a few months from now you'll find your baby becomes more consistent and you start to slowly gain more time for yourself and normalcy in your life. By the end of my 6 month maternity leave, my baby was in bed by 7 p.m. and only woke once a night. It seemed like a miracle and I actually am sentimental about those early, crazy days. Good luck, it's hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a job. This will not make you happy long term. And encourage your spouse to get a more family friendly job once you're working. It's his child too - not just your responsibility.

She has a job. A very hard one. OP, it is a stage. It gets better

Agree with you. And who ARE these people who think getting a job is the answer, anyway? You're exhausted and bored as a SAHM? I have an idea. Get a job! That will solve it! Here's what will help: Get up at 5 a.m., pump, make bottles, pack a bag, then get yourself dressed and go fight traffic to sit in an office and deal with demanding clients/ coworkers for 9 hours, fight traffic again, race to get baby from daycare before the dreaded dollar a minute penalty kicks in, come home, start Job number 2. Cook dinner, clean house, get laundry done, wash bottles, try to find 15 minutes to see said baby and husband. And...REPEAT. Until Dead!

+1000

I was in OPs shoes and getting a job was the answer and NOTHING like you all describe. It was a miserable 2 years. Tennis and mom gossip was not for me. It was mind numbingly boing. Now with two salaries my DH was able to make a career change and is not an active partner in raising our children.

I don't know what kind od miserable lives you lead, but I hope you strike a balance one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Your drained and exhausted from raising one child? Sounds more like your just depressed.


OP here. Yes, when you have no local family to give you a break, no support network, when your spouse works 70 hour weeks plus weekends plus travel (so I now have his hours too which is exhausting), and your child isn't sleeping through the night, then yes, I am drained and exhausted from raising one child.


OP, some of us moms are exhausted like you and cannot rely on family or DH to help out. But at least you have the luxury to stay at home and not have to go to work everyday. I get that you had a menial job and did not make sense financially to keep working while paying for child care. But it sounds like you are lacking goals- career, finance, etc. You have to decide what you want to be when you grow up.

+100. This is your problem, OP. You're expecting things to just happen, that a meaningful job will fall in your lap. You need to make goals and create your life, not just exist in it.

I don't want to minimize your situation, but want to kindly suggest that when you are bored and tired, it's easy to feel hopeless. Make a goal to get out of the house with your baby every day. Find out what she'll tolerate. Maybe you can browse for books (crafting books?) at the library while she's in a carrier and then let her crawl around in the kids' section. That's also a good place to meet people. Even if you just take her somewhere and window shop. Just get out! If you're in Chantilly and haven't met other SAHMs, look for a Mom's group in Dulles/Ashburn, which is not too far. I'm a WOHM in that area and all my friends are SAHMs. And...take heart, this exhausting, what-happened-to-my-life, 24/7 stage is trial by fire. Even a few months from now you'll find your baby becomes more consistent and you start to slowly gain more time for yourself and normalcy in your life. By the end of my 6 month maternity leave, my baby was in bed by 7 p.m. and only woke once a night. It seemed like a miracle and I actually am sentimental about those early, crazy days. Good luck, it's hard.

Crafting books and walking the mall? I'd kill myself if that is what my day boiled doen to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a job. This will not make you happy long term. And encourage your spouse to get a more family friendly job once you're working. It's his child too - not just your responsibility.

She has a job. A very hard one. OP, it is a stage. It gets better

Agree with you. And who ARE these people who think getting a job is the answer, anyway? You're exhausted and bored as a SAHM? I have an idea. Get a job! That will solve it! Here's what will help: Get up at 5 a.m., pump, make bottles, pack a bag, then get yourself dressed and go fight traffic to sit in an office and deal with demanding clients/ coworkers for 9 hours, fight traffic again, race to get baby from daycare before the dreaded dollar a minute penalty kicks in, come home, start Job number 2. Cook dinner, clean house, get laundry done, wash bottles, try to find 15 minutes to see said baby and husband. And...REPEAT. Until Dead!

+1000

I was in OPs shoes and getting a job was the answer and NOTHING like you all describe. It was a miserable 2 years. Tennis and mom gossip was not for me. It was mind numbingly boing. Now with two salaries my DH was able to make a career change and is not an active partner in raising our children.

I don't know what kind od miserable lives you lead, but I hope you strike a balance one day.

I find it kind of sad that many view working as the only option to "mind numbing" boredom and hanging out with idiots in tennis whites all day. Personally, I'm fulfilled by enriching my mind, pursuing my own interests and caring for my children. If your stay-at-home years were defined by mom gossip and tennis, that says more about you and your poor choices, not about being a full-time mother.

[Anonymous]

I was a SAHM until just recently - my daughter just turned 10 months. I got a very PT (12 hours per week) job at the local library and I love it! It gets me out of the house two days a week and I'm back to having some financial freedom again. I'm hoping to go back to school for a Master's in Library Science if I continue to enjoy the position over the next few years and make a career change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Your drained and exhausted from raising one child? Sounds more like your just depressed.


OP here. Yes, when you have no local family to give you a break, no support network, when your spouse works 70 hour weeks plus weekends plus travel (so I now have his hours too which is exhausting), and your child isn't sleeping through the night, then yes, I am drained and exhausted from raising one child.


OP, some of us moms are exhausted like you and cannot rely on family or DH to help out. But at least you have the luxury to stay at home and not have to go to work everyday. I get that you had a menial job and did not make sense financially to keep working while paying for child care. But it sounds like you are lacking goals- career, finance, etc. You have to decide what you want to be when you grow up.

+100. This is your problem, OP. You're expecting things to just happen, that a meaningful job will fall in your lap. You need to make goals and create your life, not just exist in it.

I don't want to minimize your situation, but want to kindly suggest that when you are bored and tired, it's easy to feel hopeless. Make a goal to get out of the house with your baby every day. Find out what she'll tolerate. Maybe you can browse for books (crafting books?) at the library while she's in a carrier and then let her crawl around in the kids' section. That's also a good place to meet people. Even if you just take her somewhere and window shop. Just get out! If you're in Chantilly and haven't met other SAHMs, look for a Mom's group in Dulles/Ashburn, which is not too far. I'm a WOHM in that area and all my friends are SAHMs. And...take heart, this exhausting, what-happened-to-my-life, 24/7 stage is trial by fire. Even a few months from now you'll find your baby becomes more consistent and you start to slowly gain more time for yourself and normalcy in your life. By the end of my 6 month maternity leave, my baby was in bed by 7 p.m. and only woke once a night. It seemed like a miracle and I actually am sentimental about those early, crazy days. Good luck, it's hard.

Crafting books and walking the mall? I'd kill myself if that is what my day boiled doen to.

Suggested bc OP said her interests were artistic/crafting...point being, if she's bored doing the baby-centric things, she should get out and do what interests HER and bring the baby along as much as she will tolerate. It is hard if you're only doing mommy stuff all the time. But I'm sure your days are filled with only the most esoteric and intellectual pursuits.