Over reacting son

[Anonymous]

OP said he only does it around his family, no one else. Clear indication that he can control his annoyance and that he's more of a brat rather than suffering from a sensory disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP said he only does it around his family, no one else. Clear indication that he can control his annoyance and that he's more of a brat rather than suffering from a sensory disorder.

I don't think his reaction makes him a brat, though he needs to work on it for sure. Your home is supposed to be your place of refuge, and it's where most of us let it all hang out after dealing with the stresses of the outside world. I think it's pretty normal for a kid that age to over-react when something as annoying as people singing and foot-tapping, etc. are impinging on his relaxation time. If he's able to hold it together in public when this happens (as I do with metro whistlers), there is every reason to think he'll learn to do it at home too. I just feel a lot of sympathy for the kid, and am glad OP has been taking a patient approach with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Giftedness is not an excuse to behave like a brat or a primadonna. I have misaphonia and some of the other issues addressed here (like the cheese aversion), and my parents never let me act inappropriately. It certainly helped me in later life, coping with issues that still bothered me.

No, you can't hold your nose and run past the cheese aisle==that's obnoxious. You can't hold your ears and scream at your parents, tht's also obnoxious. Neither of this give you appropriate coping skills. You need to teach your son how to ask nicely to avoid the stimulus that triggers those responses. That's really the only thing that helps.

I don't think anyone is making excuses- just saying that sensory issues (and control issues) can be common in this population.

Sorry, but so are primadonnas.

You sound jealous that your children are not gifted.

Actually, according to the schools, he is - -although it is none of your business. So there. The comment, which I don't take back, is about parenting practices.

As a trained educator, I have my own opinions about "gifted." I find the extreme correlation we observe between giftedness and socioeconomic status in this region to be a bit suspect. The profoundly gifted are a special case, and I have nothing to say about that, but most of the "gifted" I see are just plain old bright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP said he only does it around his family, no one else. Clear indication that he can control his annoyance and that he's more of a brat rather than suffering from a sensory disorder.

Children with OCD and tics often repress symptoms in school and then release all the pent up urges once they get home. I would not confuse this with an ability to control the urges and responses in the absence of a therapy like exposure and response prevention or, in some cases, medication. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

If the stuff about having things have to be straight gets worse you could consider Exposure/Response Prevention therapy, part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. There are workbooks on it like Talking Back to OCD and Getting Control of OCD that are great. Good places for treatment in Maryland (not sure where you are) are Alvord Baker and Behavior Therapy Center of Greater Washington (specializes in OCD). The singing thing--can you compromise? Maybe if you want to sing, you agree to sing no more than 3 songs. That way he can work on building a tolerance to the singing but know there is an end and won't explode. If he explodes, you could have a consequence (short and sweet) when you get home, like a chore or short withdrawal of privilege. The teachers thinking he's perfect may be due to perfectionism on his part? CBT is good for that too. Learning to tolerate imperfections in oneself and one's work. Perfectionsim can build a lot of internal stress. Remember school is ramping up and pressure builds stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OCD. Any recent strep in him, family members, or friends?

It's not totally off the mark - does anything in the link sound like your son?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-Compulsive_Personality_Disorder#undefined

[Anonymous]

If you even suspect OCD, visit a child psychologist. It can appear in adolescence in boys, and early intervention would help.

[Anonymous]

I was like this as a child - my parents called me Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde because teachers and my friends' parents raved about me, and I had lots of friends and was very social, but at home I would freak out over small things. I was easily provoked by small things and felt unable to control my over the top reactions - again, only in my home. As an adult viewing this, I think a lot of it was anxiety - I held it together all day, but home was where I could finally let go and I was easily triggered because I was ready to blow after holding it in. Fwiw, I, too, was labelled "gifted" in school, but I really think my behavior was unrelated to academic prowess

[Anonymous]

Gifted kids often do have sensory issues.

OP I suspect that you have many more struggles with him than you are letting on (which I frankly don't blame you). I suspect he has a pretty healthy dose of anxiety and many more quirks than you are saying. Take him to get tested and then take him for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - no other kind will work.

If I sound like I'm being directive, I am. I know all about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gifted kids often do have sensory issues.

OP I suspect that you have many more struggles with him than you are letting on (which I frankly don't blame you). I suspect he has a pretty healthy dose of anxiety and many more quirks than you are saying. Take him to get tested and then take him for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - no other kind will work.

If I sound like I'm being directive, I am. I know all about this.

why would I lie about whether he has quirks?
he is generally a very easy kid. if all kiss were like him, I would have had 5.

[Anonymous]

OP-- my 9 yearold started exhibiting similar behavior about 2 years ago. Loud chewing sometimes (but not usually) makes him crazy; Salad, apples etc. I have found that if he is extremely hungry (low blood sugar) he is more likely to meltdown at meal time. So I'll offer a snack before the mean when necessary.

We have dealt with this by letting him excuse himself to eat in his room on occassion. This seems like a socially acceptable way to avoid a trigger. I also think asking, politiely, for someone to stop singing should be praised not punished by louder singing. Respect should go both ways. If he can learn to politely ask you to stop signing. For goodness sake . . . STOP SINGING.

This doesn't seem so complicated to me. Demand that he respect you with polite requests, then honor his polite requests and reinforce his approriate behavior by stopping the behavior that irritates him. This is how we all hope the world works. . .be considerate in both directions.

An BTW, my son does not exhibit this behavior outside the home. He sucks it up. But if it's going to come out it's going to come out in the safety of our home, where he can let it out. That's totally appropriate in my book. I haven't sought professional help for this because it's improving (and has recently all but disappeared)

I think you're escalating this adhering to your own perceived "right to sing." You need to reframe this a "right to annoy my son" =inconsiderate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Giftedness is not an excuse to behave like a brat or a primadonna. I have misaphonia and some of the other issues addressed here (like the cheese aversion), and my parents never let me act inappropriately. It certainly helped me in later life, coping with issues that still bothered me.

No, you can't hold your nose and run past the cheese aisle==that's obnoxious. You can't hold your ears and scream at your parents, tht's also obnoxious. Neither of this give you appropriate coping skills. You need to teach your son how to ask nicely to avoid the stimulus that triggers those responses. That's really the only thing that helps.

I don't think anyone is making excuses- just saying that sensory issues (and control issues) can be common in this population.

Sorry, but so are primadonnas.

You sound jealous that your children are not gifted.

Actually, according to the schools, he is - -although it is none of your business. So there. The comment, which I don't take back, is about parenting practices.

As a trained educator, I have my own opinions about "gifted." I find the extreme correlation we observe between giftedness and socioeconomic status in this region to be a bit suspect. The profoundly gifted are a special case, and I have nothing to say about that, but most of the "gifted" I see are just plain old bright.

Where I live, in order to be labelled gifted you need an iq at the 98th percentile or above.
So, all gifted kids here are top 2%. Not like where you live. Here it actually means something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP said he only does it around his family, no one else. Clear indication that he can control his annoyance and that he's more of a brat rather than suffering from a sensory disorder.

Children with OCD and tics often repress symptoms in school and then release all the pent up urges once they get home. I would not confuse this with an ability to control the urges and responses in the absence of a therapy like exposure and response prevention or, in some cases, medication. BTDT.

+1 It does sound like a sensory issue to me. By the time the boy gets home, he's had all the stimuli he can take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Giftedness is not an excuse to behave like a brat or a primadonna. I have misaphonia and some of the other issues addressed here (like the cheese aversion), and my parents never let me act inappropriately. It certainly helped me in later life, coping with issues that still bothered me.

No, you can't hold your nose and run past the cheese aisle==that's obnoxious. You can't hold your ears and scream at your parents, tht's also obnoxious. Neither of this give you appropriate coping skills. You need to teach your son how to ask nicely to avoid the stimulus that triggers those responses. That's really the only thing that helps.

I don't think anyone is making excuses- just saying that sensory issues (and control issues) can be common in this population.

Sorry, but so are primadonnas.

You sound jealous that your children are not gifted.

Actually, according to the schools, he is - -although it is none of your business. So there. The comment, which I don't take back, is about parenting practices.

As a trained educator, I have my own opinions about "gifted." I find the extreme correlation we observe between giftedness and socioeconomic status in this region to be a bit suspect. The profoundly gifted are a special case, and I have nothing to say about that, but most of the "gifted" I see are just plain old bright.

Where I live, in order to be labelled gifted you need an iq at the 98th percentile or above.
So, all gifted kids here are top 2%. Not like where you live. Here it actually means something.

Wow. You're a piece of work. (Not pp).

[Anonymous]

Misophonia?