Over reacting son

[Anonymous]

My son is 13 and is a generally really easy kid. He is a little Type A. He is very mature. He is gifted and does well in school. He gets along with people.


However, some things really bother him. He gets very angry about it.
Two things come to mind.

1) singing. If I sing he loses his shit. Same with my husband singing, he screams for us to stop. He tells us we are terrible singers. It's an extreme over reaction. I'm tired of not being able to sing in my car or house. Tonight I was singing and he got furious and went into the yard so he wouldn't have to hear it.

2) sounds his brother makes. His brother has ADHD and often taps his foot on the hardwood floor or similar sounds. He gets angry and yells for his brother to stop.

I have tolerated this for a while but it's getting to the point that it's getting under my skin.
What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like OCD. Any recent strep in him, family members, or friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OCD. Any recent strep in him, family members, or friends?

No strep.
How can this be OCD?

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

I do talk to him about it. He says it annoys him ( the sounds).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

+1

Does he have this reaction to anyone singing (in which case, he is not as easygoing as you believe) or just family?

Does he have this reaction to any floor tapping/nervous energy noise (in which case, he is DEFINITELY not as easy going as you think), or just his brother's?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

I do talk to him about it. He says it annoys him ( the sounds).

At age 13 he should be able to control his behavior when something is irritating or annoying. Do you think he can control himself and just chooses not to, or do you suspect he's immature when it comes to impulse control? Does he fly off the handle sometimes with friends too, or just within the family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

+1

Does he have this reaction to anyone singing (in which case, he is not as easygoing as you believe) or just family?

Does he have this reaction to any floor tapping/nervous energy noise (in which case, he is DEFINITELY not as easy going as you think), or just his brother's?

You seem stuck on the fact that he is not easy going.
I never said he was easy going.
I said he is an easy kid, in nearly every way. I also said he is type a.
Move on from the fact that he isn't easy going. I never claimed that.

[Anonymous]

And I have to say, my singing is ok, but not terrific. I love to do it.

If any of my family members had an overreaction to my singing, it would only encourage me to sing more.

badly.

meatloaf songs.

duets with my husband.


I truly can't figure out why you are indulging him and not singing in his presence. They sell ear plugs at CVS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

+1

Does he have this reaction to anyone singing (in which case, he is not as easygoing as you believe) or just family?

Does he have this reaction to any floor tapping/nervous energy noise (in which case, he is DEFINITELY not as easy going as you think), or just his brother's?

You seem stuck on the fact that he is not easy going.
I never said he was easy going.
I said he is an easy kid, in nearly every way. I also said he is type a.
Move on from the fact that he isn't easy going. I never claimed that.

Whoa! I gotta say, mom or dad OP, you don't sound so easygoing yourself! Relax. The PP was just trying to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

+1

Does he have this reaction to anyone singing (in which case, he is not as easygoing as you believe) or just family?

Does he have this reaction to any floor tapping/nervous energy noise (in which case, he is DEFINITELY not as easy going as you think), or just his brother's?

You seem stuck on the fact that he is not easy going.
I never said he was easy going.
I said he is an easy kid, in nearly every way. I also said he is type a.
Move on from the fact that he isn't easy going. I never claimed that.

Point still holds - is it just family members, or everyone? Would he have this over-the-top reaction to anyone outside the family? I tend to doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

I do talk to him about it. He says it annoys him ( the sounds).

At age 13 he should be able to control his behavior when something is irritating or annoying. Do you think he can control himself and just chooses not to, or do you suspect he's immature when it comes to impulse control? Does he fly off the handle sometimes with friends too, or just within the family?

He never flies off the handle anywhere else. He also has no issues with impulse control, other than this. My other son with adhd has huge impulse control issues but my 13 year old doesn't. I think he is easily aggravated and now it's a control issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

+1

Does he have this reaction to anyone singing (in which case, he is not as easygoing as you believe) or just family?

Does he have this reaction to any floor tapping/nervous energy noise (in which case, he is DEFINITELY not as easy going as you think), or just his brother's?

You seem stuck on the fact that he is not easy going.
I never said he was easy going.
I said he is an easy kid, in nearly every way. I also said he is type a.
Move on from the fact that he isn't easy going. I never claimed that.

Whoa! I gotta say, mom or dad OP, you don't sound so easygoing yourself! Relax. The PP was just trying to help.

I never said I was easy going, I'm not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

+1

Does he have this reaction to anyone singing (in which case, he is not as easygoing as you believe) or just family?

Does he have this reaction to any floor tapping/nervous energy noise (in which case, he is DEFINITELY not as easy going as you think), or just his brother's?

You seem stuck on the fact that he is not easy going.
I never said he was easy going.
I said he is an easy kid, in nearly every way. I also said he is type a.
Move on from the fact that he isn't easy going. I never claimed that.

Point still holds - is it just family members, or everyone? Would he have this over-the-top reaction to anyone outside the family? I tend to doubt it.

No, I don't think he would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

I do talk to him about it. He says it annoys him ( the sounds).

At age 13 he should be able to control his behavior when something is irritating or annoying. Do you think he can control himself and just chooses not to, or do you suspect he's immature when it comes to impulse control? Does he fly off the handle sometimes with friends too, or just within the family?

He never flies off the handle anywhere else. He also has no issues with impulse control, other than this. My other son with adhd has huge impulse control issues but my 13 year old doesn't. I think he is easily aggravated and now it's a control issue.

In that case, if you think your son has the capacity to control his behavior and is choosing not to, then this is a disciplinary issue. I'd calmly tell your son that sometimes being part of a family means putting up with annoyance. He can wear earplugs or maybe headphones if it's really a problem, but he may not snap at his brother or be disrespectful to you and your husband or there will be consequences. End of story.