Over reacting son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a more extreme version of what I'll call early adolescent "embarassing family" syndrom. All of my kids went through a stage where everything DH and I did was super embarassing to him. Our singing was just intolerably uncool. Siblings were uncool and annoying. This sounds similar but also a bit over the top if he's super angry. Can you talk to him about it?

+1

Does he have this reaction to anyone singing (in which case, he is not as easygoing as you believe) or just family?

Does he have this reaction to any floor tapping/nervous energy noise (in which case, he is DEFINITELY not as easy going as you think), or just his brother's?

You seem stuck on the fact that he is not easy going.
I never said he was easy going.
I said he is an easy kid, in nearly every way. I also said he is type a.
Move on from the fact that he isn't easy going. I never claimed that.

Point still holds - is it just family members, or everyone? Would he have this over-the-top reaction to anyone outside the family? I tend to doubt it.

No, I don't think he would.

Then OP - this is about his being 13, early onset-family-embarrassment-syndrome, and perhaps a case of the primadonnas.

[Anonymous]

Why must you add the " end of story" part?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why must you add the " end of story" part?

I don't know. Just trying to suggest that I'd want to be firm, clear and not engage in too much debate with your son about this. I'm sorry if my word useage offended in some way. My intent was to be helpful, that's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why must you add the " end of story" part?

I don't know. Just trying to suggest that I'd want to be firm, clear and not engage in too much debate with your son about this. I'm sorry if my word useage offended in some way. My intent was to be helpful, that's all.

No, I understand. Sorry, I'm just tense related to his freak out, I appreciate the advice. You are right, this IS a discipline issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why must you add the " end of story" part?

I don't know. Just trying to suggest that I'd want to be firm, clear and not engage in too much debate with your son about this. I'm sorry if my word useage offended in some way. My intent was to be helpful, that's all.

Important points about how to engage your son about this.

OP - why did you tell us your son was gifted? Does that imply to you a free-pass on peevish behavior?

[Anonymous]

To give some background that he is very bright. Gifted kids can be emotional and sensitive. They are different.

I was giving background on him. I have never had a teacher do anything but rave about him. They literally act like he is perfect. I'm not bragging because I have another wonderful son who is constantly getting into trouble. I was explaining what he is like.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like misophonia to me. Buy him some earplugs and cut him some slack.

[Anonymous]

Ask him how he would solve the problem (and no that does not mean you guys stop singing completely). The headphones or ear plugs are a good idea, but ask him first. He might have some creative ideas, better than stomping out of the house. But if you include him in the problem solving, you will likely have more success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OCD. Any recent strep in him, family members, or friends?

No strep.
How can this be OCD?

PANDAS
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/pandas/index.shtml

I agree with PP, sounds very OCD relate. Misophonia is a possibility.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/06/health/06annoy.html?_r=0

[Anonymous]

OP, haven't read all the replies. But I know that my husband tends to do this, rather randomly. Turns out, it is a reaction to his family (you would need a psych background to get into this at any level). Point is, my daughter does this too. In fact, she does it at the exact moments you pointed out.

I posted to tell you you are not alone. We have not yet determined what to do about it. We have determined, on the surface, it may may OCD related.

If you find a professional that is helpful, please let us know.

[Anonymous]

OP here, wow. I do think he has ocd, my dh disagrees.
I moved some things around on his dresser. He flipped out. Everything has to be completely straight.

Who do I take him to? A shrink?

[Anonymous]

Look at OCPT, not OCD.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like pet peeves. And it's super annoying when people keep aggregating you with said annoyances.

Example, I can't stand it (like your kid I want to scream) when I see or sit next to people who jiggle their leg. Can't explain it. Just really gets to me.

No, I don't need therapy (the go to answer on dcum), I'm a happy healthy functional member of society. I have 3 kids too who are also of sound mind and body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is 13 and is a generally really easy kid. He is a little Type A. He is very mature. He is gifted and does well in school. He gets along with people.


However, some things really bother him. He gets very angry about it.
Two things come to mind.

1) singing. If I sing he loses his shit. Same with my husband singing, he screams for us to stop. He tells us we are terrible singers. It's an extreme over reaction. I'm tired of not being able to sing in my car or house. Tonight I was singing and he got furious and went into the yard so he wouldn't have to hear it.

2) sounds his brother makes. His brother has ADHD and often taps his foot on the hardwood floor or similar sounds. He gets angry and yells for his brother to stop.

I have tolerated this for a while but it's getting to the point that it's getting under my skin.
What should I do?

Hi OP,
I don't know if I have any advice for you on coping with this, but I just wanted to say that I can empathize with your son. Ever since I was young, certain sounds, noises and even words would cause me to become incredibly irritable. The main one right now is loud chewing and slurping. I posted about this on dcum once and people said it was misophonia. I'm not sure if that's what it is, but it seems to fit me pretty well.

I also get annoyed at repetitive sounds like tapping a foot or pen. If my son begins chewing his water bottle the noise makes me crazy and I take the water bottle away. I tell my husband to quit singing if he starts singing in the car. When I was younger, I would get so distracted by hearing the person next to me breathing too loud in class that I would have to get up and leave the room. I also couldn't sit at the dinner table with my family because the chewing noises my stepdad made repulsed me. There are more examples, but I won't get into it all. I have gotten better as I've gotten older, and my reaction has really, really improved the older I get, but I still deal with the heightened awareness of the noises. One thing I've tried is using earplugs when I am able to. I had a neighbor that had two dogs that barked all the time and I used the ear plugs a lot to keep myself sane. But we actually had to move because it was so bad.

Good luck with your son OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, wow. I do think he has ocd, my dh disagrees.
I moved some things around on his dresser. He flipped out. Everything has to be completely straight.

Who do I take him to? A shrink?

Yes, a psychologist.

There is also a difference between preferences, pet peeves, and OCD. OCD can worsen over time and can interfere with daily life and relationships: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ocd/basics/symptoms/con-20027827

OP, your DH doesn't have to agree, but I would take your kid to a psychologist b/c even if he doesn't have obsessions, flipping out at little things is going to take a toll on him, the family, and will probably have fallout in school or among friends. (Also, these things tend to run in families, so I'd take a mental inventory of you and DH.)