Families and money - cheapskate

[Anonymous]

You call him up and say "hey, you sent the check for the wrong amount ... it should have been $660. Send me another check for $160 tomorrow."

With people like him you - Stop asking. Start telling. Tell him as many times as it takes till he sends the check. Bring it up every. single. time. you see or speak to him. Call him or email him every week.

Harass him mercilessly over this until it's paid. He will get the point and he will never, ever try this shit again with money or anything else.

If your mom complains, tell her he needs to pay and drop the subject and move on to something else. You standing up to him makes her feel bad because she can't.

Also, you are never, ever getting any of his money in an inheritance or some other way so let go of any notion of that.

[Anonymous]

Sorry that you had to put up with this dynamic growing up. It doesn't sound healthy at all.

Ignore the negative comments. It's pretty clear where you are coming from Your parents should be a team - there is no reason why your step dad should use money as a force to control his family, and particularly his wife. Others have insisted that you are not entitled to his money, and it's clear that you agree. WHile you're not "entitled" to it, I'm sure that you see the healthy relationships that many of your peers have with their families where parents, including step parents show generosity to their children -- and I mean that in financial and non-financial terms. It sounds like he has always been mean spirited toward you and your brother. I'm sorry that you have to put up with that. I find it so hard to wrap my head around how two people can be in a relationship and not consider their assets to be at least in some way jointly owned. It sounds like a very difficult relationship for your mother.

[Anonymous]

Honey you might as well use our real names. Or, if you think your young children might benifit from having a private life, please stop such postings.

[Anonymous]

People, I agree I need help - why pile on? I guess that's the DCUM way, and yet again, I've opened myself up to that.

Sorry, OP, but is seems like you are simply looking for people to validate your immature behavior.

[Anonymous]

" I asked for guidance, sending the stadium map and range of prices, and got no response. So I bought cheap seats - knowing that he’s a cheapskate, for a total of $160."

Am I missing something? You went ahead and bought the tickets, he shouldn't reimburse you because you decided to buy the tickets. He never confirmed or responded, so you shouldn't have bought them. Your mistake, he doesn't owe you $160, he was only responsible for what he confirmed which was $500.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a weird sense of entitlement to your step fathers money. And you are too involved in your mother and stepfather's affairs.

If he is such a cheapskate why would he suggest giving the tickets to special needs kids. That isn't what cheapskates do - they would sell them and get every penny they could from them.

You sounds like you have poor boundaires and a bit of a flair for the dramatic - you like to play the victim.

I agree that therapy would be helpful for you.

She doesn't have a sense of entitlement, she was just basically saying how she wishes he wasn't such a douche and bought her and her brother an ice cream cone every now and then with love in his heart instead of being a complete ass. Is that really why you are saying that she's too involved and entitled?

And no she isn't too involved her parents affairs. It was her household after all, idiot.

Boundaries and victim? Bwahahahaha that's funny pp, because. I think YOU need therapy!

Agreed. Stepdad sounds pretty douche-like and cruel. Who teases a child with money and gets joy out of it. She does need therapy, however. Her feelings are valid, but she needs to forgive and move on. I don't know that he would be allowed around my family. OP, where is your dad?

[Anonymous]

The "teasing" with money that he did to you and your brother as kids shows he has some whacked out issues with money. Sorry you've been subjected to the DCUM pile-on. I do think therapy for you would be helpful. His behaviour in your childhood was crappy, and a good therapist can help you unpack your anger about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Since your mother is a doormat, your stepfather assumes you are the same.

Stop fronting for him! Problem solved.


OP here - I like the simplicity of this, and somehow it makes me feel better.

Agreed, no more money matters with these folks. And yes, I kick myself for fronting the money, well knowing that I was putting myself in a bad spot.

When they were here, I did ask for the $160, and he didn't refused to respond or do anything, just turned away (this is his usual mode of "dealing" with things he doesn't want to deal with). I didn't want to get into a fight in front of the grandkids while they were here. After they left I called and let him have it and called him cheap, and he offered to send a check, and I refused to accept it.

How about say what you mean and mean what you say? Why the hell wouldn't you take the check after you browbeat him for it?

While you're at it, demand the tuition checks, too.

While you are at it pp, read. She stated why.

Yes. She stated why and her reasoning was childish and immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

when I read about modern monetary obligations of step-parents, it seems like they are expected to step up and support their "kids."

Where, exactly, have you read this?

Section 475(f)(3) of the Higher Education Act of 1965 specifies that if the parent responsible for completing the FAFSA has remarried as of the application date, the stepparent’s financial information must be reported on the FAFSA. This requirement applies regardless of whether the parent is divorced, separated or a widow or widower.

There are no exceptions, not even if you have a prenuptial agreement, file separate income tax returns or weren’t married until this year.

If you appeal for more aid because your husband refuses to contribute, the appeal will be denied.

Doesn't obligate them to pay. Or actual parents for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

when I read about modern monetary obligations of step-parents, it seems like they are expected to step up and support their "kids."

Where, exactly, have you read this?

Section 475(f)(3) of the Higher Education Act of 1965 specifies that if the parent responsible for completing the FAFSA has remarried as of the application date, the stepparent’s financial information must be reported on the FAFSA. This requirement applies regardless of whether the parent is divorced, separated or a widow or widower.

There are no exceptions, not even if you have a prenuptial agreement, file separate income tax returns or weren’t married until this year.

If you appeal for more aid because your husband refuses to contribute, the appeal will be denied.

Doesn't obligate them to pay. Or actual parents for that matter.

Right, but the point is, kids do get kind of screwed if their parents and step parents can afford to pay and don't - bc then they can't get the same aid they would get if their parents were poorer. I personally think that step parents income should not be required on fafsa, but since it is, it's not fair to the kids to not help them out with tuition if they can afford it.