FIL not cool with our spanking rules

[Anonymous]

Hitting a kid just seems so bizarre. The hitter has just loss all control. I'm sure most of us have faced tougher challenges with coworkers than dealing with a little 30 lbs kid who mouths off or takes a toy from his/her sibling or says tonight's dinner is awful. Do you punch your awful coworker who went behind your back or ruined your project on purpose? Of course not, even they probably would deserve it. You don't hit them because you have self-control.

Demonstrate that self control with your children. Lay off little kids. Makes you look like an out of control fool.

[Anonymous]

OP,

The sooner you stand up to FIL the better. Be direct, poised and polite.

"You said you might spank DS if it comes to it, so DH and I will not be sending him to your house. Thank you for offering to host though, and we'll see you next time you come over."

Done.

[Anonymous]

FIL is overstating his method, I would send the child with a friendly reminder not to swat him, but give him a time out.
This is not a life changer, unless you make it one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FIL is overstating his method, I would send the child with a friendly reminder not to swat him, but give him a time out.
This is not a life changer, unless you make it one.

Wouldn't count on a "friendly reminder" to a man who has a track record of a "petrified" adult son. Not for a single second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hitting a kid just seems so bizarre. The hitter has just loss all control. I'm sure most of us have faced tougher challenges with coworkers than dealing with a little 30 lbs kid who mouths off or takes a toy from his/her sibling or says tonight's dinner is awful. Do you punch your awful coworker who went behind your back or ruined your project on purpose? Of course not, even they probably would deserve it. You don't hit them because you have self-control.

Demonstrate that self control with your children. Lay off little kids. Makes you look like an out of control fool.

Well, I am the PP who is not anti-swatting. My kids are in college and in high school, so we are past that point. Please note that, in my vernacular, swatting is not the same as beating. Kid reached for a light socket, her hand would get swatted and she would get re-directed. I never struck my kids out of anger and rarely yelled at them. My parents were beraters and that was far more abusive than any swat on the hand or bum.

Like I said, OP has the right to insist that HER method of discipline be used. If not, she should keep DS home. Without going to a debate about what the discipline is, I fully support OP's sentiment.

[Anonymous]

"Kid reached for a light socket, her hand would get swatted and she would get re-directed."

Interesting. In my house Kid reached for a light socket, I would take her hand, say no, and redirect.

Never occurred to me to "swat" her.

[Anonymous]

I still can't get past the fact that DH is to afraid to speak up to his dad about his own kid. Wow. Clearly he was more than swatted as a kid. its been my experience that parents who are all for "swatting" are almost always doing more than swatting. basically swatting escalates into multple strikes etc. Please OP, love your son more than you care about this crazy FIL and your brow beaten husband. The FIL sounds like a dick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Kid reached for a light socket, her hand would get swatted and she would get re-directed."

Interesting. In my house Kid reached for a light socket, I would take her hand, say no, and redirect.

Never occurred to me to "swat" her.

Go ahead - Super Parent!

Never occured to me to judge over people's parenting.

[Anonymous]

also how old is the kid? If FIL hits him would he be able to tell you or is this also a situaion where FIL will manipulate kid to just keep it "our secret"--FIL is a loon. and your husband should see a counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't send him.

Do not send him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't send him.

Do not send him

Do not send him;

[Anonymous]

OP, what did you decide?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Kid reached for a light socket, her hand would get swatted and she would get re-directed."

Interesting. In my house Kid reached for a light socket, I would take her hand, say no, and redirect.

Never occurred to me to "swat" her.

Go ahead - Super Parent!

Never occured to me to judge over people's parenting.

I judge people who hit other people. Parents and non-parents alike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Kid reached for a light socket, her hand would get swatted and she would get re-directed."

Interesting. In my house Kid reached for a light socket, I would take her hand, say no, and redirect.

Never occurred to me to "swat" her.

Go ahead - Super Parent!

Never occured to me to judge over people's parenting.

So, my employee did something wrong today. I swatted her and redirected her behavior, cause you know it's cool to smack people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Kid reached for a light socket, her hand would get swatted and she would get re-directed."

Interesting. In my house Kid reached for a light socket, I would take her hand, say no, and redirect.

Never occurred to me to "swat" her.

Go ahead - Super Parent!

Never occured to me to judge over people's parenting.

I judge people who hit other people. Parents and non-parents alike.

NP here, me too. I don't judge if you feed your kid mcdonalds every day. I do if you "swat" as you like to put it. Love how these parents try to smooth it all over by saying they "swat". you hit. you're hitting. you're using physical punishment. don't try to make it into something else.