Would this be the final straw for you to file divorce papers?

[Anonymous]

OP - found out the price difference between first class and economy was a total of $400 between both of them. But it isn't just the money that pisses me off, it's that he didn't even ask how much it was and just assumed it was fine. I work hard at my job and $400 isn't something I let through my hands. I'm sure even Warren Buffett doesn't throw $400 out for nothing.

What I feel bad for is our daughter because she knows things are tense in our house. I am tired of babysitting him and truth be told, would have no problem leaving, but to put her through an uprooting while she is in HS seems to be a bad way to do it.

[Anonymous]

So the price of first class for two people is $400, but you refuse to let it go because he assumed it would be fine, which it was.

Sorry OP, but so far it sounds like YOU are the problem here, not him. Unclench.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cut off his access to the money. Divorce him.

OP - we already have separate checkbooks. He doesn't understand the concept of a bank balance not including deductions for checks that did not clear.

Then get different credit cards, as well. Have all finances separate. My friend's ex thought counseling was useless, too, until she told him she wanted a divorce. Then he thought counseling was a great idea. Too bad for him she was no longer interested in counseling either, hence the ex.

Op - like this story for whatever reason. They are leaving on Friday and one thing I don't want to do is yell anymore because DD is really looking forward to the trip. He is a good dad and she loves him. The problem is, the "husband piece" of him isn't as great.

You don't sound like a prize, either. He probably thought it was worth the extra money to get away from you with DD for a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cut off his access to the money. Divorce him.

OP - we already have separate checkbooks. He doesn't understand the concept of a bank balance not including deductions for checks that did not clear.

My husband is like that too. We have been married 15 years and luckily I discovered that VERY early in our marriage. What it has basically come down to is I handle ALL the money. It's sad really, whenever he wants to buy something, he has to ask me first.

If I were in your shoes, OP I would probably find out exactly how much extra first class was vs. coach vs. driving to the vacation destination (if possible, you don't say where it is so maybe it is overseas or something). Then I would deduct the difference from his spending money. For example, maybe the difference was $500, and he likes to golf. Well, the next time the opportunity for some special golf outing with his buddies comes up, he'll just have to sit it out. And the next one. And however many it takes until he has forfeited at least $500 of fun.

WTF? You would do this to a grown man? A man you thought well-enough of (at one point) to marry?? Shit, that's wrong.

The money difference would need to come from somewhere! Where should it come from? Should we stop paying the mortgage for a month to make up the difference? Tell the kids "Hey sorry guys--but we're cutting you back to one meal a day! Daddy wants to go golfing with his buddies as much as he wants and since we must treat him like a "grown man" that means his fun takes priority over you needs!"

Maybe that's how things work in your house, but not mine.

[Anonymous]

Um, hello. If the price is too high, you don't take the trip. You are a grown ass woman and should know that booking tickets for Spring Break at the last minute is a huge waste of money. Plan ahead sister and save your resentment for something worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now he is not cheating and you say he's a great dad, so I propose you wait the two years until DD is in college. In the meantime, get your financial stuff together.

I say this because if you think first class tickets are going to cost a lot, the cost of divorce and two households is going to be sky-high. And you are so overworked that you have no time to book flights, this of how overworked you'll be doing this divorce and possibly moving etc. You would be shooting yourself in the foot, OP…calm down and think about it logically.

This. I have a few friends going thru divorces and it seems to be expensive and takes time to work out. Also, I don't know the state of finances but your DH could be entitled to half of your retitirement savings. Asssuming you don't want to be alone the rest of your life after divorcing, know that the dating for a woman over 40 isn't all that great. You are likely looking at guys in their mid-fifties and in general many that don't want to settle down.

Honestly, if I knew spouse was that unreliable with money there is no way I would have him plan the vacation. if you can't go as a family, you don't go. There is no place you "have to go on vacation". Only have to gos are visiting sick family members and grandmas's 99th birthday get together. It's very awkward to be on vacation with another family and have to budget so closely. I would think there would be pressure to keep up. Also, while my husband is no spendthrift, he tends to buy a few things here and there for our daughters. Nothing crazy that would break the bank, but he enjoys being the fun one.

So anyway, I get you are annoyed about his shrug your shoulder attitude about not knowing how much first class costs. However, it sounds like he did not go looking for first class, it was either that or they wouldn't be going or have some crazy route that got them there late. Also, if you were planning to go but couldn't because of work, that extra was not more than it would have been for you to go too. You had time to inquire and check how much he spent, but not call to make the arrangements in the first place? It is a pet peeve of mine when someone knows exactly how they want something done but ask you to do it and then criticizes how you did it.

[Anonymous]

You picked him. Why on earth would you marry and procreate with someone so poor at managing money? Family wealth?