Would this be the final straw for you to file divorce papers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've been married for 15 years, and you know he is an idiot with money. Why on earth would you give him the task of booking a vacation??? of course he would mess it up. Duh. Sounds like you love the drama and need something to yell about.

OK, color me a dumbass. I have been traveling and working Mega hours and was hoping a grown man could make an adult decision.

Yeah, you are a dumbass because you know who you married, you know what he'll do, yet you keep expecting different results. So either change your expectations or move on. Just stop complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cut off his access to the money. Divorce him.

OP - we already have separate checkbooks. He doesn't understand the concept of a bank balance not including deductions for checks that did not clear.

Is he special ed?

I thought the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've been married for 15 years, and you know he is an idiot with money. Why on earth would you give him the task of booking a vacation??? of course he would mess it up. Duh. Sounds like you love the drama and need something to yell about.

OK, color me a dumbass. I have been traveling and working Mega hours and was hoping a grown man could make an adult decision.

Yeah, you are a dumbass because you know who you married, you know what he'll do, yet you keep expecting different results. So either change your expectations or move on. Just stop complaining.

Jeez, tough audience here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cut off his access to the money. Divorce him.

I agree +1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've been married for 15 years, and you know he is an idiot with money. Why on earth would you give him the task of booking a vacation??? of course he would mess it up. Duh. Sounds like you love the drama and need something to yell about.

OK, color me a dumbass. I have been traveling and working Mega hours and was hoping a grown man could make an adult decision.

No, you set yourself up for this one. You know he sucks with money. You can't give him a credit card and hope for the best. I have the same sort of marriage, but recognizing my spouse for who she is, I deal with all of the money matters.

She is over worked and figured he was grown up to handle it. I agree that she should have seen it coming but she's thinking from HER perspective. I also would never dream he would book 1st class!

He is her son, not her husband. I would divorce him. If you are so inclined to get into a relationship, make sure he's an adult, not a man-child.

[Anonymous]

How much was it? Sounds like the alternative was not to go, or go late. Details are needed.

[Anonymous]

I fly first class for anything longer than a shuttle flight. So much more comfortable.

Yes, you're ridiculous to consider divorce because he booked first class tickets.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he didn't think it was a big deal. And it wasn't. You didn't question the price when he told you after booking the trip or when you saw the bill since you paid for it. You are upset bc you found out they are flying first class- the money has nothing to do with it.

This is your fault. You've been married 15 yrs. you've known the deal about his approach to finances for at least 15 yrs. He is NOT going to change. Deal with it or divorce him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've been married for 15 years, and you know he is an idiot with money. Why on earth would you give him the task of booking a vacation??? of course he would mess it up. Duh. Sounds like you love the drama and need something to yell about.

OK, color me a dumbass. I have been traveling and working Mega hours and was hoping a grown man could make an adult decision.

No, you set yourself up for this one. You know he sucks with money. You can't give him a credit card and hope for the best. I have the same sort of marriage, but recognizing my spouse for who she is, I deal with all of the money matters.

I tend to agree with this. What made you think he'd handle things any differently than he has previously? You didn't. After 15 years, there wasn't any logical reason to believe he'd deviate from his pattern. You may have told yourself you hoped for something different, but you knew that wouldn't happen. Since you're reacting as if this is the last straw, maybe that's what you wanted.

[Anonymous]

So how much more was it? Can you afford it? Is it within the budget?

[Anonymous]

OP, do you guys have a budget? Did you talk to him beforehand about how much he had to spend on the vacation? I agree w/PPs that counseling is in order to get you two on the same page and to get him on the path to learning some money management skills. But at the same time, since you KNOW he's bad with money, it's kind of on you to make sure there are some guidelines for him to follow instead of expecting him to make the "right" decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cut off his access to the money. Divorce him.

OP - we already have separate checkbooks. He doesn't understand the concept of a bank balance not including deductions for checks that did not clear.

My husband is like that too. We have been married 15 years and luckily I discovered that VERY early in our marriage. What it has basically come down to is I handle ALL the money. It's sad really, whenever he wants to buy something, he has to ask me first.

If I were in your shoes, OP I would probably find out exactly how much extra first class was vs. coach vs. driving to the vacation destination (if possible, you don't say where it is so maybe it is overseas or something). Then I would deduct the difference from his spending money. For example, maybe the difference was $500, and he likes to golf. Well, the next time the opportunity for some special golf outing with his buddies comes up, he'll just have to sit it out. And the next one. And however many it takes until he has forfeited at least $500 of fun.

[Anonymous]

I do think that it was irresponsible of you to let him book the trip. You already knew that he had no common sense when it comes to money. And, why didn't you just book the tickets on Kayak.com or something. You could have easily searched for the cheapest flights.

That being said, I doubt that money is the only thing that drives you nuts about your dh. Take some time to consider things before you do anything drastic.

A good first step would be to consult with a divorce attorney. You need to understand what you can do now to prepare. You may end up paying him support...

[Anonymous]

I would've been out of there years ago.And who lets a man like him be in charge of finances? Seems like he is not interested or is bad at it.I would've taken finances over long ago.

[Anonymous]

So you all waited to book your tickets and now the only seats available are first class? Yes this happens when you do not plan a head. What should he have done, not gone? Its for your dd spring break. If he is soooo bad a money, what budget did you give him? Oh you didn't. Who the adult? He either did not know how much the tickets cost(that's bad) or was afraid of your reaction(bad also). What would you have done if he said they only had first class tickets left so I did not book the trip?