If you're a non-contributer parent to "school extras"

[Anonymous]

I contribute a little of my time and money, preferably in quiet ways.

I steer clear of the PTA because I do not approve of the executive board clique.

Why should I feel guilt? I don't.
The bulk of my time is spent on educating my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I contribute a little of my time and money, preferably in quiet ways.

I steer clear of the PTA because I do not approve of the executive board clique.

Why should I feel guilt? I don't.
The bulk of my time is spent on educating my kids.

This pretty much describes me. Make most of my contributions directly to the classroom. My child doesn't want to participate in most of the PTA sponsored activities. I write them a check each year but that is it. No guilt. I doubt the PTA really wants me volunteering. I have little tolerance for inefficiency or waste. I would be a difficult volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an involved parent but not a money parent at a private school. Once a month I read to my sons PK class. I don't advertise that I do it, so you may be unaware. I did buy books at the scholastic book fair. When the
teachers sends out a list of things they need for the class, I may fill some of the requests, I may not. My children willingly bring in their own handmade gifts to the teachers - I don't "encourage" them to do it. I don't
do the auctions. I don't have the money. Our school it's $75 per person just to go to the auction. My school, thankfully, doesn't do wrapping paper or anything like that.

The parents I see do the least are probably the wealthiest, and they donate huge sums of money. Their name goes on a big plaque so everyone knows.

I also know some parent s that aren't wealthy but work long hours and don't have the flexibility to do stuff at school (field trips, class parties).

I've lived long enough to not judge people, and not care what others think of me. Based on your post OP, you think I should be embarrassed. I'm not. And you have no clue what all the other parents do. The PTA has no idea that
once a month I read to my son's class, or that the teacher asked for boxes of Kleenex and I gave her some. You shouldn't be judging people for making
decisions based on what works for their family. Not everyone has a budget that can include all the fundraising things from school. Not everyone has a flexible job with lots of time off. BTW, for me, I only earn 4 hours of vacation per 2 week pay period, so I have to work for 5 months without taking any vacation days to take off 5 days for spring break. I am lucky - my job is flexible so when I stay and read to the class, I just work an hour later to make up for it. And before you assume I must be on FA, we're not.
We're the people that barely afford private school.

You are exactly the kind of parent I would want in my class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every hour spent doing PTA work is an hour less spent with my children.

It's the tragedy of the commons, I suppose, but I'd rather focus on my children individually.

+1
I'm happy to volunteer in my child's classroom, but not interested in any PTA committees, fundraisers, etc. Especially when so many of the extras are incredibly silly and have nothing to do with education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're one of the parents who never brings in money for collections, or silent auction items, or you never volunteer for anything like selling raffle tickets, PTA, etc. can you explain why and if it embarrasses you at all? This is anonymous, so no accusations, I just really want to know. What are your justifications? Do you think it impacts your child at all? Do you find yourself avoiding other parents? Or seeking out like-minded ones? Really just looking for honest answers and not ugliness. TIA!

I am one of the parents who wonders WTF you care about what other people do with their time, money, and resources. [/quote]

I'm one of those parents who wonders WTF you do care about, because you're obviously not invested in supporting your child's school. I do think you're lazy and selfish. I even go so far as to think less of you as a parent, because you are a negative role model for your child. School is about more than academics. It is a community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're one of the parents who never brings in money for collections, or silent auction items, or you never volunteer for anything like selling raffle tickets, PTA, etc. can you explain why and if it embarrasses you at all? This is anonymous, so no accusations, I just really want to know. What are your justifications? Do you think it impacts your child at all? Do you find yourself avoiding other parents? Or seeking out like-minded ones? Really just looking for honest answers and not ugliness. TIA!

I am one of the parents who wonders WTF you care about what other people do with their time, money, and resources. [/quote]

I'm one of those parents who wonders WTF you do care about, because you're obviously not invested in supporting your child's school. I do think you're lazy and selfish. I even go so far as to think less of you as a parent, because you are a negative role model for your child. School is about more than academics. It is a community.

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Awesome. I don't want to be any part of your community, PP -- you are nasty. If there were less people like you dominating the school scene, more parents would participate. You can have your community!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're one of the parents who never brings in money for collections, or silent auction items, or you never volunteer for anything like selling raffle tickets, PTA, etc. can you explain why and if it embarrasses you at all? This is anonymous, so no accusations, I just really want to know. What are your justifications? Do you think it impacts your child at all? Do you find yourself avoiding other parents? Or seeking out like-minded ones? Really just looking for honest answers and not ugliness. TIA!

I am one of the parents who wonders WTF you care about what other people do with their time, money, and resources. [/quote]

I'm one of those parents who wonders WTF you do care about, because you're obviously not invested in supporting your child's school. I do think you're lazy and selfish. I even go so far as to think less of you as a parent, because you are a negative role model for your child. School is about more than academics. It is a community.

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Awesome. I don't want to be any part of your community, PP -- you are nasty. If there were less people like you dominating the school scene, more parents would participate. You can have your community!

[Anonymous]

I occasionally volunteer to help run activities because my child loves seeing me at school. I feel no obligation to help out in other ways because I have no desire to do so and honestly don't care. I have things to do that I consider much more important and take priority. If you feel like volunteering, OP, more power to ya. I feel very good about my decisions to not help out except for occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care about classroom parties , field trips, assemblies, the intervention teacher, or reading medals. I spends a boatload of money on my kids education AT HOME. I buy Singapore Math, writing programs, science activities, etc. I have paid for my kid to go to Kumon. My kid is a well -behaved kid who is easy to educate because he already has met grade level standards. The PTA president at my school pushed funding an intervention teacher. Perhaps it is a coincidence but her kids all need to go to intervention, and she surely could pay privately for tutoring. My kids attend a school with a really low FARM rate no kid in the school doesn't have opportunities. Why should I send in money for the PTA for a field trip to a pumpkin patch or farm? All the kids have parents who take them. Why do classroom parties? I wish there were more rigorous academics, but since it is public school I don't complain but I am not sending in money.

But your kids get to participate in these parties and in these field trips that you don't help out with though, right?

Well, we paid for field trips, and I always contribute to the fund for those who can't pay.

The parties: honestly, it was a challenge for us in elementary school every time the food served crap during the day. Thank you, but I would have preferred we didn't do the parties.

[Anonymous]

Judith Warner, in her book "Perfect Madness", recalls a scene at a PTA meeting where a bunch of volunteers have shown up to prep for the meeting. There is obviously not enough for everyone to do, so some of the women are asked to wipe off chairs that are already perfectly clean.

I think what you are hearing, OP, is that many PTAs have not done a good job of communicating the pedagogical benefit of what they do. In some cases, this is a matter of pointing out that the music teacher you are funding is contributing to higher scores and critical thinking skills as documented by research. In other cases, that benefit doesn't exist, and those activities probably need to be rethought.

Also, it's much more efficient to have a lawyer parent bill an hour at work and donate the hundreds of dollars therefrom to the school than it is to have her sell a few rolls of wrapping paper to make $5 for the school.

[Anonymous]

I never would have thought I'd be active in the PTA but our school is Title I and it NEEDS the additional funds and materials they get from our fundraising and events. We try to be as welcoming and open as possible, very clear about where the money goes (and most of it goes to things the Principal has requested funds for ) and we try to create community events with free-components (like a free movie) so all can feel included and have fun.
Please do not paint all PTAs with the same brush. I think many of you are actually the ones being snobby by writing off all PTA stuff as being beneath you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care about classroom parties , field trips, assemblies, the intervention teacher, or reading medals. I spends a boatload of money on my kids education AT HOME. I buy Singapore Math, writing programs, science activities, etc. I have paid for my kid to go to Kumon. My kid is a well -behaved kid who is easy to educate because he already has met grade level standards. The PTA president at my school pushed funding an intervention teacher. Perhaps it is a coincidence but her kids all need to go to intervention, and she surely could pay privately for tutoring. My kids attend a school with a really low FARM rate no kid in the school doesn't have opportunities. Why should I send in money for the PTA for a field trip to a pumpkin patch or farm? All the kids have parents who take them. Why do classroom parties? I wish there were more rigorous academics, but since it is public school I don't complain but I am not sending in money.

But your kids get to participate in these parties and in these field trips that you don't help out with though, right?

+1
These parents are modeling to their kids to be takers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never would have thought I'd be active in the PTA but our school is Title I and it NEEDS the additional funds and materials they get from our fundraising and events. We try to be as welcoming and open as possible, very clear about where the money goes (and most of it goes to things the Principal has requested funds for ) and we try to create community events with free-components (like a free movie) so all can feel included and have fun.
Please do not paint all PTAs with the same brush. I think many of you are actually the ones being snobby by writing off all PTA stuff as being beneath you.

It's not beneath me. It is cliquish. And this year, every PTA sponsored family fun night has been on a weeknight. Most of the parents WORK and therefore cannot go. I'm sure there are some PTAs that aren't like that. But the one at my school is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're one of the parents who never brings in money for collections, or silent auction items, or you never volunteer for anything like selling raffle tickets, PTA, etc. can you explain why and if it embarrasses you at all? This is anonymous, so no accusations, I just really want to know. What are your justifications? Do you think it impacts your child at all? Do you find yourself avoiding other parents? Or seeking out like-minded ones? Really just looking for honest answers and not ugliness. TIA!

I am one of the parents who wonders WTF you care about what other people do with their time, money, and resources. [/quote]

I'm one of those parents who wonders WTF you do care about, because you're obviously not invested in supporting your child's school. I do think you're lazy and selfish. I even go so far as to think less of you as a parent, because you are a negative role model for your child. School is about more than academics. It is a community.

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Awesome. I don't want to be any part of your community, PP -- you are nasty. If there were less people like you dominating the school scene, more parents would participate. You can have your community!

Not the PPs. But seriously, how do you know how much time or money I spend on the school? I volunteer in ways you don't see (reading to the kids, coming in during community helper week and telling them about my job), and give in ways you don't see (requests from teachers - artwork, homemade play dough, boxes of kleenex). So please get off your high horse and stop assuming that I must not care since you don't see me do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're one of the parents who never brings in money for collections, or silent auction items, or you never volunteer for anything like selling raffle tickets, PTA, etc. can you explain why and if it embarrasses you at all? This is anonymous, so no accusations, I just really want to know. What are your justifications? Do you think it impacts your child at all? Do you find yourself avoiding other parents? Or seeking out like-minded ones? Really just looking for honest answers and not ugliness. TIA!

I am exhausted. Just raising my children, taking care of my household, and working at my job are all that I can do right now.