She cheated and I'm devastated

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP again. It's 123 in the morning and I the pain is all suffocating. I'm the only one here and yet I see her everywhere I look. It's so hard to even breathe.


Just breathe, OP. It hurts, I know, but sit with the pain for a while. It will pass. You're doing the right thing, both in terms of ending it and how you're processing it. So many people can't handle the pain and they hide from it or deny it, or make destructive decisions to avoid it. You're not doing that. You're doing the right thing for yourself. You can get through this.
Anonymous
You were saved a divorce.
Anonymous
She wasn't who you thought she was. Sorry, OP.
It will get better.
Anonymous
Lesbian relationship drama is the craziest drama.
Anonymous
OP you were saved not just a divorce, but a miserable marriage. So sorry to hear. Agree with PP: BREATHE. This terrible feeling will pass once you realized what you actually lost, which was an idea of someone. You will grieve. Let yourself do that. BUt the real person never was. Better now than 20 years into a marriage like I am currently facing. Hang in there. Use this experience to set a higher standard for the future.
Anonymous
I should add OP that you are NOT the only person this has happened to. It is very easy to be taken in by someone. It wont happen a second time, though.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Lesbian relationship drama is the craziest drama.


I'm a lesbian and this is (sadly) so unbelievably true.

OP, one of my exes cheated on my twice with my very good friend. It took me probably 2 years to get over it. My best advice is to cry and feel everything that you feel right now. Denying the hurt, anger, love, etc will only bury it and it will resurface if you don't confront it. When you're ready you'll meet a new woman and everything will work out.
Anonymous
OP my god you are SOOOO lucky you found out now, rather than 10 years and couple kids down the road. I know it sucks, but if she cannot be faithful at this point, she never will be. Please move on.
Anonymous
I found out back in December that my wife had been having an emotional affair for a couple of months. It is now April, we are still together but it is not the same. If we had not been married I would have walked away. Stay strong and do not take her back.
Anonymous
Not cheating.
Anonymous
Op, they fucked. Don't let her fool you. Find someone else. Preferably a dirty girl and let her peg you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It's her ex? Yeah. She's fucking him.


I agree with this. I would go a little further and say she knew you were getting ready to propose and she dynamited the relationship on purpose. I've experienced this kind of thing - someone pushes you into being the one to break up, often by being so crappy that you have no choice. Lots of people sabotage a relationship they can't quite bring themselves to end like an adult.

Others have said this too, but I'll just add: there is nothing but time that will let you heal. It hurts for a long time and you have to grieve both the loss of the person and the dreams of the future you had. I wouldn't recommend getting serious with someone new, but I would definitely recommend getting into something casual with someone new.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Well she just left with the rest of her things. I've decided to let myself just hurt and cry and miss her. Tomorrow is a new day.


You would have started to heal sooner if you'd taken all her crap and given it to the thrift store before she came back.


What stupid advice. Then she would sue him for it or have him aressted for stealing her property. People should always dump a cheater. Once a cheater....
Anonymous
Since this post was written over a month ago, I hope by now time has lessened your pain OP.

Hang in there.

I know it hurts right now, but trust me....This will make you so much stronger in the long run. Just ask anyone who has been in your situation before.

I am sorry she did this to you and I hope you find peace and happiness in your future.
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