She cheated and I'm devastated
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Anonymous
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As long as you don't have kids together, be happy it happened now. Return the ring, tell her it was a deal breaker, and say good bye. Try not to be bitter and after some time, use hindsight to see if there were any other warning signs you missed. Don't let her mistake damage your future. After a little bit of time, get back out there. There are plenty of people out there for you. You can take two approaches-
"That which does not kill me makes me stronger" or "That which does not kill me simply postpones the inevitible." Pick one. |
Anonymous
| No kids together. She's on her way to load up the last bit of her things. Logically I know I'll be ok and that I dodged a serious bullet with her, my problem now is what in the hell do I do with all of this love I still have for her. I hate what she's done, but I can't just turn off how I feel, how I've felt for her. I hate her. And I love her. All in the same breath. |
Anonymous
| You wait. Of course you still love her -- that's not just going to go away. You have to give yourself time. Take really good care of yourself -- go to the gym, eat well, surround yourself with people who make you feel good about who you are. It will pass, but the only way through it is through it. |
Anonymous
| Whatever you do, pull the plug on her. Do not take her back even if she begs and cries. If she loved you she wouldn't have given him the time of day. |
Anonymous
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Good for you, OP, for doing the right (albeit tough) thing.
Of course you love what you thought you had with her. You'll go thru the stages of grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) which is normal. Just don't do something stupid you'll regret later (i.e. ranting about her on FB). Take the high road and you'll be fine. Oh, yeah- change the locks as soon as possible. |
Anonymous
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I think you're naive to believe that it hasn't gone further.
Besides, she's already willing to test the waters elsewhere... She's going, regardless. Don't pay a shitload of money to marry her, get screwed by the state when you divorce her. You know what you need to know. Like it or not. |
Anonymous
| It's her ex? Yeah. She's fucking him. |
Anonymous
I'm so sorry that this happen to you. However, dodge this bullet and move on. Don't even think twice about marrying this woman. Save yourself from a life of drama, lies, and deceit. It's going to hurt for awhile, but stay strong and end your relationship with her. There is a woman out there who will love you and will respect you. This lady just isn't the one. She doesn't deserve you and you deserve better. |
Anonymous
| It will take time. Do what you can to distract yourself. Pick up a new sport, hit the gym, find a new hobby. Fill your time and know that it will get easier. |
Anonymous
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OP, I had a fiancé who cheated on me. We broke up for awhile, but he was so remorseful that I took him back several months later. And guess what. He cheated again. I wished I had made a clean break the first time. Cheaters don't change unless the cheater actually wants to do hard work on him or herself in order to address that huge character flaw, and very few of them want to do that.
I am so sorry. Stay strong, and take care of yourself. |
Anonymous
| I agree with PPs. Move on and don't look back. You will feel like you want to get back together with her at some point. Don't. It will just prolong the grief. I hope you get someone who deserves you, OP. Cheating sucks. |
Anonymous
| Well she just left with the rest of her things. I've decided to let myself just hurt and cry and miss her. Tomorrow is a new day. |
Anonymous
| ^^^ to let myself hurt for the rest of the day. |
Anonymous
| What should be telling to you is that she is not fighting to stay. I am sorry OP. There is better out there for you. |
Anonymous
You would have started to heal sooner if you'd taken all her crap and given it to the thrift store before she came back. 
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