I think my DS is gay, maybe even transgender

[Anonymous]

Every gay guy I know has preferred the company of girls when they were little. My guess is that your little guy is gay or trans. Time will tell. Love him, talk with him about how people are different (this will help him even if he's straight), and protect him from bullies who will hurt him (this will help him even if he's straight, as well). Good luck to both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I am a elementary school principal and recently worked with a family whose child transitioned from being a boy to a girl. (The child transitioned in clothing only as surgery or drugs for a child are totally inappropriate.) I got a great education about gender dysphoria. All children are on a spectrum in terms of their gender identity. Some children are born a girl and are very comfortable with traditional "girl" identified things. I have an 8 year old daughter that loves to wear her brother's clothes and mostly hangs out with boys. She does not say that she wants to be a boy. The concern for gender dysphoria comes when your child's happiness is centered around this identity. Children will do anything to become the other gender. They truly believe that they were assigned the wrong gender at birth, ie they have a penis and know that boys have a penis, but in their heart of hearts, they feel they were meant to be a girl (or vice versa for a girl born with a vagina but believing she really is a boy.)

Please talk with your pediatrician and look into the resources PP provided above from Children's Hospital. I do not know whether your child has this. What I do know is that there are many resources and many supportive people out there.

The child at my school transitioned between second and third grade and just before they moved to our school. Only staff members that directly work with the student know. The child is now in 6th grade and has been/is a happy, bright student. I am in awe by the courage displayed by the parents, the siblings and of course, by this child.

(And for those that think OP being a single mom is the issue, this family has 2 straight parents with one being in military and their other children do not have gender dysphoria. They are as typical and "normal" as they come.)

Good luck to you OP. You seem like a loving parent who just wants her child to be healthy and happy.

I'm curious to know if the other kids at the school are aware that she is biologically a boy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I am a elementary school principal and recently worked with a family whose child transitioned from being a boy to a girl. (The child transitioned in clothing only as surgery or drugs for a child are totally inappropriate.) I got a great education about gender dysphoria. All children are on a spectrum in terms of their gender identity. Some children are born a girl and are very comfortable with traditional "girl" identified things. I have an 8 year old daughter that loves to wear her brother's clothes and mostly hangs out with boys. She does not say that she wants to be a boy. The concern for gender dysphoria comes when your child's happiness is centered around this identity. Children will do anything to become the other gender. They truly believe that they were assigned the wrong gender at birth, ie they have a penis and know that boys have a penis, but in their heart of hearts, they feel they were meant to be a girl (or vice versa for a girl born with a vagina but believing she really is a boy.)
Please talk with your pediatrician and look into the resources PP provided above from Children's Hospital. I do not know whether your child has this. What I do know is that there are many resources and many supportive people out there.

The child at my school transitioned between second and third grade and just before they moved to our school. Only staff members that directly work with the student know. The child is now in 6th grade and has been/is a happy, bright student. I am in awe by the courage displayed by the parents, the siblings and of course, by this child.

(And for those that think OP being a single mom is the issue, this family has 2 straight parents with one being in military and their other children do not have gender dysphoria. They are as typical and "normal" as they come.)

Good luck to you OP. You seem like a loving parent who just wants her child to be healthy and happy.

PP, thank you for this thoughtful post, but in all honestly, as a parent, I find your words and thinking extremely disturbing. It is lunacy for adults to encourage a 7 year old who "feels in his heart of hearts" (what does that even mean??) that s/he was "meant to be" the other gender. They were meant to be exactly what they are.

Modern psychology tends to disagree with you. Who the hell are you to decide what someone was meant to be????

You're right. I'm pretty sure the woman next door was meant to be a parakeet.

Wow, OP! I guess now we can all agree that DS is a lucky kid to have you as a parent instead of some of these people! And, yes, who the hell else could possibly grow up happily without the exceptional difference of a father's love. Oh, the president, for one. But, I guess you people will probably comment on his inadequacies next. And blame them on his missing daddy. And, by the way, I am equal opportunity. I think kids can grow up just fine with only a mom, only a dad, only a grandma, only a grandpa, two moms, two dads, a lesbian dad, etc...to love them. So long as a human caretaker shows them unconditional love, places proper boundaries, educates them, and allows them the opportunity to be who they were born to be. I am sure you will now object away.

By the way, this is so disgusting. Why in the world are you people posting here? Answer the OP's question or get the hell out. Why do you have to be so virulent, so vitriolic, so obsessed with your opinions that you need to bring up something totally pointless. She is a single mom, the kid has male role models or they are living under a rock (I mean there are men everywhere if you have not noticed), why do you need to obsess about a father figure...the kid is who he is and will be who he is regardless of the presence or absence of fatherly love. And, to the hilarious poster who likened this to her neighbor being a parakeet...was that a serious comment?! Good grief!

It was about as serious as this entire discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I am a elementary school principal and recently worked with a family whose child transitioned from being a boy to a girl. (The child transitioned in clothing only as surgery or drugs for a child are totally inappropriate.) I got a great education about gender dysphoria. All children are on a spectrum in terms of their gender identity. Some children are born a girl and are very comfortable with traditional "girl" identified things. I have an 8 year old daughter that loves to wear her brother's clothes and mostly hangs out with boys. She does not say that she wants to be a boy. The concern for gender dysphoria comes when your child's happiness is centered around this identity. Children will do anything to become the other gender. They truly believe that they were assigned the wrong gender at birth, ie they have a penis and know that boys have a penis, but in their heart of hearts, they feel they were meant to be a girl (or vice versa for a girl born with a vagina but believing she really is a boy.)

Please talk with your pediatrician and look into the resources PP provided above from Children's Hospital. I do not know whether your child has this. What I do know is that there are many resources and many supportive people out there.

The child at my school transitioned between second and third grade and just before they moved to our school. Only staff members that directly work with the student know. The child is now in 6th grade and has been/is a happy, bright student. I am in awe by the courage displayed by the parents, the siblings and of course, by this child.

(And for those that think OP being a single mom is the issue, this family has 2 straight parents with one being in military and their other children do not have gender dysphoria. They are as typical and "normal" as they come.)

Good luck to you OP. You seem like a loving parent who just wants her child to be healthy and happy.

I'm curious to know if the other kids at the school are aware that she is biologically a boy?

They were not.

[Anonymous]

I think you are a good mom and will love and accept him no matter what. What more could a child ask for?

Maybe time will tell. Maybe just let things be. I have no real advice, but I think he's lucky to have you as a mom

[Anonymous]

OP, there was an article in the Post about a family with a child with gender identity issues who made the decision to allow the child to dress and identify as the other gender. I could be wrong but I seem to recall them family was identified. If that is the case you should find the article and maybe reach out to that family who may know of helpful resources.

I admire you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Maybe talk to some of your gay friends for advice. See what they say and what have helped them as children too.

[Anonymous]

Op, you don't need much advice. You are doing an excellent job with your child. I second the PPs' suggestion that you work with the school to make sure your son is supported, get resources from PFLAG, and talk to a professional who knows how to support LGBT kids at different developmental stages. Also, do try to broaden, gently, your son's notions of femininity, encouraging him to at least try gender-neutral activities, e.g., sports, science, whatever. Take it day by day. Try to be at peace with uncertainty while your child grows up. Keep always putting him first, which you are clearly doing now!

[Anonymous]

If he is transgender, it would be good to see a psychologist now, before puberty hits as this can be a terrible time for transgender people. Also, I am not sure what the law says on when people can start taking hormonal therapies but I bet you many wish they had been able to do something before puberty completely transformed them. It's much harder for transgender women to "pass"