Help! My DS is sooo slow at everything.

[Anonymous]

PP here and I'm not sure what exactly my mom had to do to get me the IEP, but I remember the school having me do a lot of testing in third grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister was the slowest person around. She just only had one slow speed. She got faster as she got older and while she still occasionally needs an extra reminder to get going, she does great.

Op - this just may be his personality. It is okay to not have a diagnosis for every little thing that is a little bit different than the rest of the kids. It is okay for him to just be a bit slower if that is his personality.

This. Honestly, people on this board say "it's ADD" for everything. It sounds like your son is just like his dad was -- he did things slowly as a akid --that is the most likely answer. Just accept him the way he is.

[Anonymous]

Seriously people, why not diagnose every kid who gets bored with ADD/ADHD.

What are the rewards/punishments for getting/not getting done chores, etc. do you stick to it for over a month 100%. If not, it didn't sink in yet.

Tell him to clean his room. Give him a timer with 20min. If he gets it done, he gets x. If he doesn't get it done he loses y. Stick to it, be a parent. Don't coddle, don't negotiate. If the kid has nothing. Loss of sports, loss of electronics, loss of tv, they will refocus on what had to be done. If not then why bother? I HATE laundry. If I didn't have to do it and it still got done anyway, why would I try to do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked to my husband about it and he said that he was just like our son when he was a child but that he grew out of it when he was a teenager. I hope the same is true for our son.

According to my doctor, a percentage of kids with ADHD "outgrow" it during their teenage years, and this does not mean that someone did not have ADHD. Some people's brains adjust during puberty due. Others learn coping mechanism that allows them to operate sufficiently. Others learn areas of strengths and weaknesses and essentially avoid learn to avoid their weaknesses. This could be a problem, however, if your kid learns to avoid school and social situations.

Something to keep in mind is that there are ranges of symptoms classified in ADHD. The real question for you is whether you feel that your son's slowness impairs his life significantly. If your kid is happy, doing reasonably well in school, has friends, etc., I would not be too concerned. On the other hand, if your kid is really struggling and is developing a bad attitude about school, I would really worry about it. My kid (ADHD inattentive type) would tune out the whole day and would come home from school unable remember a single thing that happened. He would get constantly berated by teaches and other students for failing to finish things. He was also becoming increasingly isolated.

OP - talk to your school about getting testing if you are concerned. Every school district in the area offers some type of free testing services, and even if you have to wait to receive them, you are better off knowing than be forever wondering if you failed to take proper actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously people, why not diagnose every kid who gets bored with ADD/ADHD.

What are the rewards/punishments for getting/not getting done chores, etc. do you stick to it for over a month 100%. If not, it didn't sink in yet.

Tell him to clean his room. Give him a timer with 20min. If he gets it done, he gets x. If he doesn't get it done he loses y. Stick to it, be a parent. Don't coddle, don't negotiate. If the kid has nothing. Loss of sports, loss of electronics, loss of tv, they will refocus on what had to be done. If not then why bother? I HATE laundry. If I didn't have to do it and it still got done anyway, why would I try to do it?

You know nothing about ADHD. Asking a kid with ADHD to work faster or to be more focused is like asking a kid in wheelchair to run faster. Many kids with ADHD are essentially missing brain functions that allow them to act according to rewards/incentives in the way you suggest. All you would accomplish is to make kids (who are already criticized on a constant basis) feel worse about themselves and to tune you out even more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously people, why not diagnose every kid who gets bored with ADD/ADHD.

What are the rewards/punishments for getting/not getting done chores, etc. do you stick to it for over a month 100%. If not, it didn't sink in yet.

Tell him to clean his room. Give him a timer with 20min. If he gets it done, he gets x. If he doesn't get it done he loses y. Stick to it, be a parent. Don't coddle, don't negotiate. If the kid has nothing. Loss of sports, loss of electronics, loss of tv, they will refocus on what had to be done. If not then why bother? I HATE laundry. If I didn't have to do it and it still got done anyway, why would I try to do it?

You know nothing about ADHD. Asking a kid with ADHD to work faster or to be more focused is like asking a kid in wheelchair to run faster. Many kids with ADHD are essentially missing brain functions that allow them to act according to rewards/incentives in the way you suggest. All you would accomplish is to make kids (who are already criticized on a constant basis) feel worse about themselves and to tune you out even more.

OP doesn't think her child has it. It is well known, it is over diagnosed. Tweens are like this all the time. They aren't perfect, hormones take over, their priorities are not to keep their room clean, do HW and such. But parents these days are so quick to label their child with something instead of just working a little harder and realize kids aren't perfect. So OP doesn't need all the moms chiming in with "it is ADD, must be, my kid has it!" It is like you are all so excited to add more to to your group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously people, why not diagnose every kid who gets bored with ADD/ADHD.

What are the rewards/punishments for getting/not getting done chores, etc. do you stick to it for over a month 100%. If not, it didn't sink in yet.

Tell him to clean his room. Give him a timer with 20min. If he gets it done, he gets x. If he doesn't get it done he loses y. Stick to it, be a parent. Don't coddle, don't negotiate. If the kid has nothing. Loss of sports, loss of electronics, loss of tv, they will refocus on what had to be done. If not then why bother? I HATE laundry. If I didn't have to do it and it still got done anyway, why would I try to do it?

You know nothing about ADHD. Asking a kid with ADHD to work faster or to be more focused is like asking a kid in wheelchair to run faster. Many kids with ADHD are essentially missing brain functions that allow them to act according to rewards/incentives in the way you suggest. All you would accomplish is to make kids (who are already criticized on a constant basis) feel worse about themselves and to tune you out even more.

OP doesn't think her child has it. It is well known, it is over diagnosed. Tweens are like this all the time. They aren't perfect, hormones take over, their priorities are not to keep their room clean, do HW and such. But parents these days are so quick to label their child with something instead of just working a little harder and realize kids aren't perfect. So OP doesn't need all the moms chiming in with "it is ADD, must be, my kid has it!" It is like you are all so excited to add more to to your group.

I agree that it is over diagnosed. Some of us, however, have put our kids through the most comprehensive testing available to get to the root causes of our kids' struggles. In doing so, we get a diagnosis. Or not. But either way, we are not "quick to label" our children. On the contrary, we take the slowest, most careful and thorough route possible.

From that standpoint, I agree with the PP who said you do not know what you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

PP here. OP, you might find this book useful:

http://www.amazon.com/Late-Lost-Unprepared-Executive-Functioning-ebook/dp/B008NB847O/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1391446531&sr=1-1&keywords=late+lost+and+unprepared

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have perfectly described my 13-year old ADHD (inattentive type) son with executive function and working memory issues. He has no fast speed, which is terribly frustrating when he is late for school and takes 15 minutes to tie his shoes (you would think a ninth grader would have that skill mastered).

NP here - OMG, thank you for mentioning the tieing shoes. I never thought it could be related to ADD - thought it was laziness, but whadya know, my son has ADD inattentive too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked to my husband about it and he said that he was just like our son when he was a child but that he grew out of it when he was a teenager. I hope the same is true for our son.

According to my doctor, a percentage of kids with ADHD "outgrow" it during their teenage years, and this does not mean that someone did not have ADHD. Some people's brains adjust during puberty due. Others learn coping mechanism that allows them to operate sufficiently. Others learn areas of strengths and weaknesses and essentially avoid learn to avoid their weaknesses. This could be a problem, however, if your kid learns to avoid school and social situations.

Something to keep in mind is that there are ranges of symptoms classified in ADHD. The real question for you is whether you feel that your son's slowness impairs his life significantly. If your kid is happy, doing reasonably well in school, has friends, etc., I would not be too concerned. On the other hand, if your kid is really struggling and is developing a bad attitude about school, I would really worry about it. My kid (ADHD inattentive type) would tune out the whole day and would come home from school unable remember a single thing that happened. He would get constantly berated by teaches and other students for failing to finish things. He was also becoming increasingly isolated.

OP - talk to your school about getting testing if you are concerned. Every school district in the area offers some type of free testing services, and even if you have to wait to receive them, you are better off knowing than be forever wondering if you failed to take proper actions.

Be careful. I am trying to get my daughter tested for the same reasons and the schools put you through hoops so that not everyone asks to be tested. They will tell you some of the same things other posters have put on here, suggest that your kid enroll in slower classes, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of my southern relatives. Some of the males speak so slowly that I have to bite my lip to not finish their sentences. Sounds like this may just be who he is. Does he at least get things done correctly the first time, as in excellent attention to detail?

I really find this offensive. A southern accent does not equate slow. You are ignorant.

[Anonymous]

OP, yes, ADHD is overdiagnosed, in that plenty of kids are put on meds w/out any serious evaluation-- but it is also underdiagnosed, in that many parents and teachers do not recognize the signs and never pursue a diagnosis. This is particularly true with the "inattentive" variety of ADD. Our daughter was diagnosed w this after a full battery of neuropsych tests -- i would have described her as much like your son. I am glad we had her tested and the school accommodations have helped her. We are trying meds but so far have no found anything she finds helpful.

Public schools are legally obligated to provide testing, so even if you cannot afford private testing you should discuss this with the school. If your son's "slowness" is obvious to his teachers they will probably be very supporting of having him assessed. There are a lot of bureaacratic hoops to jump through but be persistent-- it can't hurt!