Help! My DS is sooo slow at everything.
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Anonymous
| OP here. I talked to my husband about it and he said that he was just like our son when he was a child but that he grew out of it when he was a teenager. I hope the same is true for our son. I don't really want to medicate our son because I don't feel like he needs it so does anyone have any suggestions for methods or books I could read that might help speed him up a bit? Thanks. |
Anonymous
If you have good health insurance you may consider meeting with a Neuropsychologist for neuropsychology evaluation as testing runs a few thousand dollars. The testing, which is usually done 4 hours for 2 days can rule in or out ADHD. I understand your opinion about drugs but doing this type of evaluation gives you an option of doing a 504 plan in school (extended time on tests and projects, seating up front, etc...) should ADHD be apparent. |
Anonymous
If you have good health insurance you may consider meeting with a Neuropsychologist for neuropsychology evaluation as testing runs a few thousand dollars. The testing, which is usually done 4 hours for 2 days can rule in or out ADHD. I understand your opinion about drugs but doing this type of evaluation gives you an option of doing a 504 plan in school (extended time on tests and projects, seating up front, etc...) should ADHD be apparent. |
Anonymous
+1 Not surprising about your DH, OP, as this runs in families. We had our 16yo tested recently. He was struggling so much in school, just awful. We gave him on a low dose of stimulant and are putting an IEP in place. Do not let your bias against drugs get in the way of your son's interests. |
Anonymous
Totally agree. If he is like this now, he will not outgrow it in middle and high school. |
Anonymous
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My sister was the slowest person around. She just only had one slow speed. She got faster as she got older and while she still occasionally needs an extra reminder to get going, she does great.
Op - this just may be his personality. It is okay to not have a diagnosis for every little thing that is a little bit different than the rest of the kids. It is okay for him to just be a bit slower if that is his personality. |
Anonymous
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My 11 yr old DD went through a neuropsychology evaluation as she was disorganized, spacey and forgetful among other things but got pretty good grades in school. I thought her grades could have been better because many wrong answers were just mistakes due to disorganized work or sloppiness. We met our health insurance deductible for the year with a broken bone so insurance covered the ~$3000/4000 testing.
At 10.5 yrs old, she tested with collage level reading skills and 9th grade math skills but had working memory in the 35%. ADHD - inattentiveness was marginal and medication was optional. It was suggested that before we try medication, she start 6th grade with a 504 plan with accommodations... like mentioned above and a study skills tutor (someone to teach her how to keep her school work organized and how to study for tests). It's not easy to keep a close eye on her without feeling like a helicopter parent and medication may be in her future. But we are trying what we know before going to drugs. I hope that help, OP. |
Anonymous
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i was that kid growing up. i put up with being called lazy, slow-poke, air-headed etc. -- by the people who loved me. Others were less understanding.
As i grew up i overcompensated and made "good" in life, with grad school and a good career. But when my kid was showing high anxiety at school and could not tell us anything about the day, we had her evaluated, expecting much worse than ADHD. My own diagnostic came only after hers, as learned more about it. If your son is having a hard time, he needs help. That comes as accommodations, as skill building and possibly as medicine. Ideally, the latter is a facilitator while the skills are built, rather than a long-term solution. The idea here is that he deserve the support to reach his potential. If he needed eyeglasses, you'd give those to him, right? |
Anonymous
+1 - and well said, too. |
Anonymous
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22:02
What kind of stimulant did you give your child? My 13 year old does quite well in school because he has extra time, but he is really slow at everything, including getting dressed or brushing his teeth. Also, one plate of food usually takes him about 45 minutes to finish. |
Anonymous
This is SO well said! OP - the point is you (and probably others around him) are getting frustrated with him. Over time that will eat at his own self-confidence and affect the way he functions in life. NO tot mention that kids who are not helped with their processing earlier in life and then get to the rigors of high school may start to self-medicate (i.e. drugs and alcohol) to simply get away from the bad feelings - ask any reputable pediatrician and/or psychiatrist. Get a neuropsyh evaluation - if cost is a factor then talk with your county since it is often offered free or at a reduced cost if done through the county's school system. My son was diagnosed with ADHD in 4th grade. He was also diagnosed with an "output disorder" - simply said, he processes things slowly. There isn't much that can be done for the latter, but we were able to get him accommodations in school (longer time for tests and the teachers understood and helped him in other ways). We changed some things at home (place where homework is done, set-up for the computer, etc.), worked hard on coming up with systems for him and our whole family. We also started him on medication. He's now in middle school and doing brilliantly! Our goal is to wean him from the medication over the next few years and have already lowered the dose. He is learning the tools necessary to get the work done. The bottom line is that if you are writing on an anonymous board about your frustrations with your child then things have gotten bad. Don't make them worse by ignoring it and hoping it all gets better with time. If a visit to the doctor doesn't lead to any diagnosis then clearly your son simply needs more time and structure then is being provided for him. Also, I can't believe the teachers in your school are not giving you some concrete ideas of what to do to help. Nor can I believe that they haven't suggested getting him tested…are you concerned with that because I would be…? |
Anonymous
22:02 here. After he underwent neuropsychological testing (8 hours of comprehensive testing), we put some strategies in place for supporting him in school. Those are helping somewhat but after a few months we determined they were not enough, so we consulted his pediatrician. He started on Concerta, but it made him very irritable - so he is on Focalin now, which is working better from an irritability standpoint. DS thinks it is helping. DS tested in the 99.5th percentile in terms of raw intelligence/IQ, but his working memory and processing speed are very average. This results in tremendous frustration for him w/regard to schoolwork. |
Anonymous
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OP, you and your DH are in denial. Get the boy evaluated so that you can propery help him and put the accomodations in place so that he can be successful at school. Expcting him to grow out of it, telling him to "hurry up" and getting frustrated is only going to make it worse. He will get slower and more tentative.
Signed, parent of an honor roll student who has ADD and EFD. |
Anonymous
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For those parents with ADHD - inattentiveness, what types of accommodations does the school provide with a 504 or IEP?
I see in previous posts, seating up front extended time on tests and assignments anything else? |
Anonymous
22:02 here. We sought: Extended time on tests (including standardized tests) Getting notes/study guides in advance of material being presented Option to turn in assignments electronically |