Big Sex Question/Problem Scenario -- Need Help, All Opinions Valued, Please Don't Put Me Down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's extremely frustrating to quite a few of us to hear that parents are not having sex in their own bed

Quite condescending that this was all you took out of it instead of the content. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After your son falls asleep, you leave the bed and go have sex elsewhere. The earlier in the evening, the better (you wont' be as tired).[/quote

Same with us. We co-sleep, but have sex in another bedroom once DS is asleep. Trying to be gentle here, but are you using co-sleeping as an excuse?

[Anonymous]

Do you want DS in your bed? If yes, then you need to go have sex elsewhere in the house, or at different times, like all other happy co-sleeping couples.

Do you NOT want DS in your bed? Then you should look into some sleep training methods and get him to sleep in his own bed. It may be hard, but I bet it won't be as hard as you're imagining. And it doesn't have to involve screaming. You're the mom, you call the shots on this. You can do it, if you want to!

Have you ever seen "Supernanny" deal with this situation? She explains to the child that he is going to sleep in his own bed (maybe get a special new stuffed animal or something to mark the occasion), then puts the child to sleep in his own bed, very lovingly. The first time he gets out of bed, you walk him back and tuck him in and say "Time for bed, sweetie." The second time, you say "Time for bed" and do the same. The third time, you don't say a single word. No bargaining, no arguing, not a word. Just gently take him back to bed. Over. And over. And over. Kids figure out that they're not getting the parental interaction they want from it (and that's FINE, to not be getting parental interaction all night long when everyone's healthy), so they eventually figure out they should just go to bed. A few sleepless nights of this could really pay off in the long run...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want DS in your bed? If yes, then you need to go have sex elsewhere in the house, or at different times, like all other happy co-sleeping couples.

Do you NOT want DS in your bed? Then you should look into some sleep training methods and get him to sleep in his own bed. It may be hard, but I bet it won't be as hard as you're imagining. And it doesn't have to involve screaming. You're the mom, you call the shots on this. You can do it, if you want to!

Have you ever seen "Supernanny" deal with this situation? She explains to the child that he is going to sleep in his own bed (maybe get a special new stuffed animal or something to mark the occasion), then puts the child to sleep in his own bed, very lovingly. The first time he gets out of bed, you walk him back and tuck him in and say "Time for bed, sweetie." The second time, you say "Time for bed" and do the same. The third time, you don't say a single word. No bargaining, no arguing, not a word. Just gently take him back to bed. Over. And over. And over. Kids figure out that they're not getting the parental interaction they want from it (and that's FINE, to not be getting parental interaction all night long when everyone's healthy), so they eventually figure out they should just go to bed. A few sleepless nights of this could really pay off in the long run...

Absolutely. Breaking up cosleeping is so easy with consistency and then people can have all the sex they want without pretending their in high school and sneaking around.