Big Sex Question/Problem Scenario -- Need Help, All Opinions Valued, Please Don't Put Me Down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank everyone for your responses.

I confess: Once I've fallen asleep, I will not wake up even if it's to have sex with Leonard DiCaprio.

I am very jealous of the couple who can put the video on and go upstairs for some privacy. My children would never permit not knowing exactly where we are and having complete access to us for more than 2 minutes. I'm serious.

I think the office floor on flexiplace days is going to have to do for now.

But maybe I'm just not as . . . acrobatic or adventurus as y'all. I have a friend whose husband leans her over the sink in the bathroom. That's just not me. I confess, I like to have sex in bed, hold each other and talk afterwards and go off to sleep. I am a Victorian. I even prefer the missionary position, rarely watch porn, and echew sex toys.

Even my husband shares some of this. After the romp on the office floor he was very distracted trying to make sure there were no stains from . . . you know.

Oh, you poor thing.

[Anonymous]

There is a wide range of "normal" sexual behavior, and I think you fall in the normal range. Now if you said you kept your clothes on during sex and only did it for procreation, that would be a little more Victorian. If you're willing to get it on in your husband's office, why not do it in another room in your house? Put down a sleeping bag and pretend you're camping.

[Anonymous]

in front of the fireplace! in the shower! on the washing machine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you, but I don't think your main problem is the sex. I think it's that your child is in charge at night and calling the shots. Did you say he was 4?

The office floor, the kitchen table, whatever works for your love life location. Seems you're on the right track there.

I'm with this poster. My DS is 3 yrs and I can't fathom using words like "he insists" or "he won't allow us...". First and foremost, try and remember that he's not the boss - you are (or at least that's the way it should be). In my personal opinion, even thinking the way you are right now puts you on a back track for the future. You might want to look into some books on behavioral strategies so you can get some control back before it's too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you, but I don't think your main problem is the sex. I think it's that your child is in charge at night and calling the shots. Did you say he was 4?

The office floor, the kitchen table, whatever works for your love life location. Seems you're on the right track there.

I'm with this poster. My DS is 3 yrs and I can't fathom using words like "he insists" or "he won't allow us...". First and foremost, try and remember that he's not the boss - you are (or at least that's the way it should be). In my personal opinion, even thinking the way you are right now puts you on a back track for the future. You might want to look into some books on behavioral strategies so you can get some control back before it's too late.

Whoops - I meant bad track, not back track.

[Anonymous]

I think you just need to suck it up and do some serious sleep training. Go out of the house and let your husband put him to bed. It will be tough for a week or so, but eventually he'll get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank everyone for your responses.

I confess: Once I've fallen asleep, I will not wake up even if it's to have sex with Leonard DiCaprio.

I am very jealous of the couple who can put the video on and go upstairs for some privacy. My children would never permit not knowing exactly where we are and having complete access to us for more than 2 minutes. I'm serious.

I think the office floor on flexiplace days is going to have to do for now.

But maybe I'm just not as . . . acrobatic or adventurus as y'all. I have a friend whose husband leans her over the sink in the bathroom. That's just not me. I confess, I like to have sex in bed, hold each other and talk afterwards and go off to sleep. I am a Victorian. I even prefer the missionary position, rarely watch porn, and echew sex toys.

Even my husband shares some of this. After the romp on the office floor he was very distracted trying to make sure there were no stains from . . . you know.

Oh, c'mon. Why judge someone's sexual preference? It's not that I've never been bent over a sink and contorted my body every way imaginable. It's that I've tried the other things, and I like it this way. Why do I need sex toys when I can have vaginal orgasms with my husband. I mean, I'm not judging anyone for using sex toys, but it is a machine. The one time I experimented with a vibrator I got a horrible UTI. I figure I could devote the money saved to something like shoes.

And don't we all pretty much like to fuck in our warm beds either at the end or the beginning of the day? I mean, you can do it midday (and I will continue to until my kid gets out of my bed), but then you have to clean yourself up and pull yourself together and get back to being productive, when all you really want to do is sleep.

Maybe some men would find me to be a bore. But my husband doesn't. So why judge someone for having sex that is enjoyable to them -- whether it be doggy style on a cold kitchen table or in the missionary position with pillows and blankets??


Oh, you poor thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a wide range of "normal" sexual behavior, and I think you fall in the normal range. Now if you said you kept your clothes on during sex and only did it for procreation, that would be a little more Victorian. If you're willing to get it on in your husband's office, why not do it in another room in your house? Put down a sleeping bag and pretend you're camping.

Yes, thank you, I am normal. You guys sure must have houses much bigger than mine. There's the office, which is a viable option. The living room, with all of the windows, isn't as attractive an option. And the kids are there a lot of the time anyway. We could do it in the kids' rooms, I suppose. But something about that seems not very nice. I mean, having sex on my son's bed. Is that nice? There are bathrooms, but I don't really enjoy bathroom sex. And then there's the bedroom.

I like the person who suggested the mini-van. We have an SUV.

[Anonymous]

If your son isn't sleeping in his room anyhow, replace his twin bed with a double. With a GOOD mattress. Let your son fall asleep with you in your bed, and then you guys move to his bed. It won't really be his, because he isn't sleeping on it, anyway. Or -- tell him that this new bigger bed, is now your bed, and you sleep there in his room, and have him fall asleep with you there. Then, go back to your room without having to move him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank everyone for your responses.

I confess: Once I've fallen asleep, I will not wake up even if it's to have sex with Leonard DiCaprio.

I am very jealous of the couple who can put the video on and go upstairs for some privacy. My children would never permit not knowing exactly where we are and having complete access to us for more than 2 minutes. I'm serious.

I think the office floor on flexiplace days is going to have to do for now.

But maybe I'm just not as . . . acrobatic or adventurus as y'all. I have a friend whose husband leans her over the sink in the bathroom. That's just not me. I confess, I like to have sex in bed, hold each other and talk afterwards and go off to sleep. I am a Victorian. I even prefer the missionary position, rarely watch porn, and echew sex toys.

Even my husband shares some of this. After the romp on the office floor he was very distracted trying to make sure there were no stains from . . . you know.

I'm sorry, but come on. You will be alot happier with your situation when you start putting yourselves second sometimes. He will continue to get between you in bed because you allow it. Start walking him back to his bed and state that your bed is for mom and dad. He dictates way to much. They will get over it. 4 will turn into 6 still sleeping with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank everyone for your responses.

I confess: Once I've fallen asleep, I will not wake up even if it's to have sex with Leonard DiCaprio.

I am very jealous of the couple who can put the video on and go upstairs for some privacy. My children would never permit not knowing exactly where we are and having complete access to us for more than 2 minutes. I'm serious.

I think the office floor on flexiplace days is going to have to do for now.

But maybe I'm just not as . . . acrobatic or adventurus as y'all. I have a friend whose husband leans her over the sink in the bathroom. That's just not me. I confess, I like to have sex in bed, hold each other and talk afterwards and go off to sleep. I am a Victorian. I even prefer the missionary position, rarely watch porn, and echew sex toys.

Even my husband shares some of this. After the romp on the office floor he was very distracted trying to make sure there were no stains from . . . you know.

I'm sorry, but come on. You will be alot happier with your situation when you start putting yourselves second sometimes. He will continue to get between you in bed because you allow it. Start walking him back to his bed and state that your bed is for mom and dad. He dictates way to much. They will get over it. 4 will turn into 6 still sleeping with you.

I meant when you start putting yourselves first. It is ok to make yourselves the priority sometimes and let your kids take a backseat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel for you, but I don't think your main problem is the sex. I think it's that your child is in charge at night and calling the shots. Did you say he was 4?

The office floor, the kitchen table, whatever works for your love life location. Seems you're on the right track there.

I'm with this poster. My DS is 3 yrs and I can't fathom using words like "he insists" or "he won't allow us...". First and foremost, try and remember that he's not the boss - you are (or at least that's the way it should be). In my personal opinion, even thinking the way you are right now puts you on a back track for the future. You might want to look into some books on behavioral strategies so you can get some control back before it's too late.

You are so right. I could not have said this better. Op your in for a long road. Start insisting yourself and tell them mom and dad need their time, no ifs or buts about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people are letting their kids dictate their lives like this.

I agree. Think about what people are saying. The minivan. How about your bed because the kids are in their own bed, where they should be.

[Anonymous]

Then he will SCREAM. For a long time. And wake up his younger sister, who will then SCREAM. For a long time. And we'll be up all night, getting no sleep.

[Anonymous]

And think about the ramifications when they are older. really, you are in for a very long road ahead if you don't get a handle on the entitlement you are giving your kid.