Did anyone else marry a fairy tale man and have it fall apart?

[Anonymous]

Is having a spouse that "*also* comes from an affluent family" a requirement for a fairy tale life? Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is having a spouse that "*also* comes from an affluent family" a requirement for a fairy tale life? Weird.

For a shallow person, you betcha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is having a spouse that "*also* comes from an affluent family" a requirement for a fairy tale life? Weird.

That's why may be troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is having a spouse that "*also* comes from an affluent family" a requirement for a fairy tale life? Weird.

Weird and creepy. Creepy and weird.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't call it a fairy tale, but yeah, I had the perfect marriage. For ten years. Loving, respectful, hardworking man. (Super handsome, too!) I adored him and literally woke up thanking my lucky stars on a daily basis for ten years.

And then he became mentally ill and now I'm living with the body of the man I loved. The personality inhabiting the body is no one I would give the time of day to. Defensive, lazy, utterly self-absorbed, mean when provoked.

At least you can divorce and move on, OP. And I would encourage you to do so. I WISH that I could break up with my husband, with some unassailable excuse like adultery. But he's ill and he needs me. I'm stuck... "in sickness and in health" and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is having a spouse that "*also* comes from an affluent family" a requirement for a fairy tale life? Weird.

I don't think it's a requirement, but I can see it being a definite bonus. Fairy tale princess meets Prince Charming.

Shared social class is going to include a lot of shared attitudes on lifestyle and handling money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is having a spouse that "*also* comes from an affluent family" a requirement for a fairy tale life? Weird.

I don't think it's a requirement, but I can see it being a definite bonus. Fairy tale princess meets Prince Charming.

Shared social class is going to include a lot of shared attitudes on lifestyle and handling money.

not only that but common experiences for reference and context.

also makes travel and vacation easier! at this point i'm trying to hit the last few obscure international places i want to see. going to ocean city for the week would make me suicidal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is having a spouse that "*also* comes from an affluent family" a requirement for a fairy tale life? Weird.

I don't think it's a requirement, but I can see it being a definite bonus. Fairy tale princess meets Prince Charming.

Shared social class is going to include a lot of shared attitudes on lifestyle and handling money.

not only that but common experiences for reference and context.

also makes travel and vacation easier! at this point i'm trying to hit the last few obscure international places i want to see. going to ocean city for the week would make me suicidal.

Well, that would be true if the OP had said "comes from my same background." -- that would include shared attitudes, lifestyles, handling money, common experiences, etc. but she said "rich, like me." Big difference.

Nothing wrong about being rich -- good for OP (although it's not her merit). But to say that's integral part of a fairy tale is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez, why all the hate on the OP? Doesn't everyone have a moment when they say, holy cow, this isn't exactly what I thought I'd be when I imagined this stage of my life?

Sure, we all have those moments, but the OP listed a series of superficial checklist items that have very little to do with liking the person she chose to marry.

She sounds like a classic "good girl" "rule follower" who has been punching her ticket and expecting the mail-order life to arrive and make her happy. Really shallow and really disconnected from reality.

Actually, she just sounded young. Which she was/is. Which is perfectly, exactly, ok.

The real hate here comes from the fact that she had it all and now things aren't going well, and some of you are pleased about that because it makes you feel good about your own life.

OP will become stronger. She will also still be pretty, smart, educated and affluent. And will find another man who will treat her better than this one because she will have the wisdom to choose differently.

OP, I promise, you will come out ahead on this one!

+1. Jealous people are jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The real hate here comes from the fact that she had it all and now things aren't going well, and some of you are pleased about that because it makes you feel good about your own life.

And because it fucks with the haters personal myth. They need to find reasons why OP is at fault and why it could NEVER, EVER happen to them. It is whistling past the graveyard.

Oh nonsense - it's because the OP came off as an elitist snob who looked down on others - based on the things she herself identified as important: affluent, ivy-league, good-looking. It's because "haters" enjoy seeing one of the "perfect people" get cut down to size like the rest of the "ordinary people". Perhaps not the OP, but a great many people who express the kind of attitudes she did tend to go through life snubbing others. Perhaps it's a little excusable since she was young, but really, not, because there is never an excuse - no matter how good looking, successful and fortunate-by-birth you are to look down on the less fortunate.

Also: I'm gonna bet the original post was troll-bait anyway - see how many would attack her and how many would defend her. It reminds me a LOT of "Trading Places".

The only thing I'd observe is how much the rank of school doesn't predict being successful. A students become law professors; B students become Judges, and C students make all the money hahaha!

Actually the post says more about you and your insecurities. Just because OP is affluent and went to an Ivy you think she looks down on others. That is a mean and unfounded stereotype. Maybe OP never ever "snubs" others, maybe she is super kind and treats everyone with respect. You are jumping to conclusions about a person you don't know and I think it's mean and low. The poor woman just lost her job and her husband and you can't be sympathetic because she happens to be pretty and come from an affluent family? I feel sorry for you because you are so judgmental.

OP, I wish you the best. All will work out. Please believe that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
[b]

Actually the post says more about you and your insecurities. Just because OP is affluent and went to an Ivy you think she looks down on others. That is a mean and unfounded stereotype. Maybe OP never ever "snubs" others, maybe she is super kind and treats everyone with respect. You are jumping to conclusions about a person you don't know and I think it's mean and low. The poor woman just lost her job and her husband and you can't be sympathetic because she happens to be pretty and come from an affluent family? I feel sorry for you because you are so judgmental.

OP, I wish you the best. All will work out. Please believe that.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't call it a fairy tale, but yeah, I had the perfect marriage. For ten years. Loving, respectful, hardworking man. (Super handsome, too!) I adored him and literally woke up thanking my lucky stars on a daily basis for ten years.

And then he became mentally ill and now I'm living with the body of the man I loved. The personality inhabiting the body is no one I would give the time of day to. Defensive, lazy, utterly self-absorbed, mean when provoked.

At least you can divorce and move on, OP. And I would encourage you to do so. I WISH that I could break up with my husband, with some unassailable excuse like adultery. But he's ill and he needs me. I'm stuck... "in sickness and in health" and all that.

ouch...I'm really sorry to hear about your situation...with an illness like that, especially if he still functions day to day in regular life...ugh. that is a ruined fairy tale.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this has gotten a bit derailed.

OP, how are you doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somehow I find this thread intolerant and superficial. I'm sure that when life was "perfect" you were as judgmental of everyone else as your DH seems to be of you now. I'm sure you never even considered a man who didn't meet your list of expectations. You don't talk of shared values, interests or dreams. Even your description of DH has a "Me, me, me" tone about it in which you describe what you required before you even considered a guy to be worthy of you.

Now that you've lost your status job, you sound like you've lost your self-respect. Honestly, do you think that you are anything beyond a CV? Because obviously that's what you wanted out of a husband: someone who was "good on paper" was enough. There's nothing to describe his soul or character in your entire post.

I'm not the OP but this described me at one time. I can understand why you think it applies to OP.

I don't mean to be unkind, OP. I'm really sorry for your pain. I do think there is an element of truth to the PP. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to re-evaluate my life and choices in my 20s. I came to the realization that I'd chosen my career path for the wrong reasons (at least they were wrong for me). If you were fired for not billing enough/bringing in clients, that kind of law is not your strength or passion. You may have been conditioned by your upbringing/education to think it was 'the career' to aspire to but that's group think. I'm much happier in a career that is less prestigious, less high power than what I aspired for in my 20s. I also would never have considered dating my DH back then. He wouldn't have met my criteria for what I thought my boyfriend/husband should be. I know some people I knew back then wondered what happened to me. I could have done so much more, done better in a DH. But the life I have is the one that suits me best. As difficult as this time is for you and as much as it sucks, it's an opportunity for you to take a long hard look at your life and choices. You'll pick yourself back up and get on the path you were supposed to go - and you'll be much happier for it. You can't see it now but you will.

I agree with this. OP, I hope things get better for you and you find what makes you happy.

[Anonymous]

I really detest those who are writing about schadenfreude. Your day will come, too.