Did anyone else marry a fairy tale man and have it fall apart?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Life can't be a pinata.

I just found my new favorite saying. Thanks, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So shocked at what my life has become. I was always considered good-looking and smart, came from an affluent family, went to a top women's college and then an Ivy League law school, met the perfect man there - hot, smart, also from an affluent family, totally great to me. We get jobs at firms in the same city, we're in love, we get married, everything is going great. Then this year, I lose my job because I haven't been billing enough hours and bringing in clients, and also find out that he's been cheating on me for 2 years, he claims he doesn't love me at all, and we're on the brink of divorce.

I am just not sure what is happening. My life wasn't supposed to go like this.

There are no words for something like this, except to tell you that it sucks!

Now, how are you going to move on? Focus there. Get a plan in place. Do you have kids? If so, focus on them. If not, you now have the opportunity apply for a job and to live anywhere you want. Grab it. Get to the gym and work it out physically. Your endorphins will rise and you will stay hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez, why all the hate on the OP? Doesn't everyone have a moment when they say, holy cow, this isn't exactly what I thought I'd be when I imagined this stage of my life?

Sure, we all have those moments, but the OP listed a series of superficial checklist items that have very little to do with liking the person she chose to marry.

She sounds like a classic "good girl" "rule follower" who has been punching her ticket and expecting the mail-order life to arrive and make her happy. Really shallow and really disconnected from reality.

Actually, she just sounded young. Which she was/is. Which is perfectly, exactly, ok.

The real hate here comes from the fact that she had it all and now things aren't going well, and some of you are pleased about that because it makes you feel good about your own life.

OP will become stronger. She will also still be pretty, smart, educated and affluent. And will find another man who will treat her better than this one because she will have the wisdom to choose differently.

OP, I promise, you will come out ahead on this one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez, why all the hate on the OP? Doesn't everyone have a moment when they say, holy cow, this isn't exactly what I thought I'd be when I imagined this stage of my life?

Sure, we all have those moments, but the OP listed a series of superficial checklist items that have very little to do with liking the person she chose to marry.

She sounds like a classic "good girl" "rule follower" who has been punching her ticket and expecting the mail-order life to arrive and make her happy. Really shallow and really disconnected from reality.

Have some compassion. She's young. She believed what she was taught. It didn't work out.

That happens, OP. I'm sorry. In your shoes, I would listen to a lot of Janis Joplin ("Me and Bobby McGee" and "Mercedes Benz," especially) and figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. Where do you want to live? What kind of job do you want? Who are you going to be when you grow up.

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez, why all the hate on the OP? Doesn't everyone have a moment when they say, holy cow, this isn't exactly what I thought I'd be when I imagined this stage of my life?

Sure, we all have those moments, but the OP listed a series of superficial checklist items that have very little to do with liking the person she chose to marry.

She sounds like a classic "good girl" "rule follower" who has been punching her ticket and expecting the mail-order life to arrive and make her happy. Really shallow and really disconnected from reality.

Actually, she just sounded young. Which she was/is. Which is perfectly, exactly, ok.

The real hate here comes from the fact that she had it all and now things aren't going well, and some of you are pleased about that because it makes you feel good about your own life.

OP will become stronger. She will also still be pretty, smart, educated and affluent. And will find another man who will treat her better than this one because she will have the wisdom to choose differently.

OP, I promise, you will come out ahead on this one!

And because it fucks with the haters personal myth. They need to find reasons why OP is at fault and why it could NEVER, EVER happen to them. It is whistling past the graveyard.

[Anonymous]

OP, I certainly have envied your situation from the outside at times, and I guess this does give some perspective that even perfect lives have issues. I am sorry this has happened, but this situation will strengthen you if you accept what it is and move on with as much courage and dignity you can muster. Lean on those you trust and love, and may your next husband be a real prince.

[Anonymous]

Always surprised and disappointed when someone who writes a thread of personal misfortune is met with derision instead of compassion. OP, hang in there. You've had the rug pulled out from under your life. I've had the same happen to me, for different reasons. You'll go through shock, anger, and grief at your loss. But you will adjust to your new normal and come out stronger. Be patient with yourself during this very rough time. Sometimes we believe if we do everything "right", only good will come to us. The reality is that while we should work hard in our lives, so much is out of our control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The real hate here comes from the fact that she had it all and now things aren't going well, and some of you are pleased about that because it makes you feel good about your own life.

And because it fucks with the haters personal myth. They need to find reasons why OP is at fault and why it could NEVER, EVER happen to them. It is whistling past the graveyard.

Oh nonsense - it's because the OP came off as an elitist snob who looked down on others - based on the things she herself identified as important: affluent, ivy-league, good-looking. It's because "haters" enjoy seeing one of the "perfect people" get cut down to size like the rest of the "ordinary people". Perhaps not the OP, but a great many people who express the kind of attitudes she did tend to go through life snubbing others. Perhaps it's a little excusable since she was young, but really, not, because there is never an excuse - no matter how good looking, successful and fortunate-by-birth you are to look down on the less fortunate.

Also: I'm gonna bet the original post was troll-bait anyway - see how many would attack her and how many would defend her. It reminds me a LOT of "Trading Places".

The only thing I'd observe is how much the rank of school doesn't predict being successful. A students become law professors; B students become Judges, and C students make all the money hahaha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez, why all the hate on the OP? Doesn't everyone have a moment when they say, holy cow, this isn't exactly what I thought I'd be when I imagined this stage of my life?

Sure, we all have those moments, but the OP listed a series of superficial checklist items that have very little to do with liking the person she chose to marry.

She sounds like a classic "good girl" "rule follower" who has been punching her ticket and expecting the mail-order life to arrive and make her happy. Really shallow and really disconnected from reality.

Actually, she just sounded young. Which she was/is. Which is perfectly, exactly, ok.

The real hate here comes from the fact that she had it all and now things aren't going well, and some of you are pleased about that because it makes you feel good about your own life.

OP will become stronger. She will also still be pretty, smart, educated and affluent. And will find another man who will treat her better than this one because she will have the wisdom to choose differently.

OP, I promise, you will come out ahead on this one!

OP is close to thirty. She won't be pretty forever and finding a husband is not easy at any age.

[Anonymous]

I am just flabbergasted at the meanness of posters here.

Hang in there, Op. You are pretty, smart, well educated. You still pretty much have it all. You will find another job soon. Good riddance to the cheater hubby.

[Anonymous]

Hang in their OP. Your fairytale is still out there

[Anonymous]

Always surprised and disappointed when someone who writes a thread of personal misfortune is met with derision instead of compassion. OP, hang in there. You've had the rug pulled out from under your life. I've had the same happen to me, for different reasons. You'll go through shock, anger, and grief at your loss. But you will adjust to your new normal and come out stronger. Be patient with yourself during this very rough time. Sometimes we believe if we do everything "right", only good will come to us. The reality is that while we should work hard in our lives, so much is out of our control.

Wise words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The real hate here comes from the fact that she had it all and now things aren't going well, and some of you are pleased about that because it makes you feel good about your own life.

And because it fucks with the haters personal myth. They need to find reasons why OP is at fault and why it could NEVER, EVER happen to them. It is whistling past the graveyard.

Oh nonsense - it's because the OP came off as an elitist snob who looked down on others - based on the things she herself identified as important: affluent, ivy-league, good-looking. It's because "haters" enjoy seeing one of the "perfect people" get cut down to size like the rest of the "ordinary people". Perhaps not the OP, but a great many people who express the kind of attitudes she did tend to go through life snubbing others. Perhaps it's a little excusable since she was young, but really, not, because there is never an excuse - no matter how good looking, successful and fortunate-by-birth you are to look down on the less fortunate.

Also: I'm gonna bet the original post was troll-bait anyway - see how many would attack her and how many would defend her. It reminds me a LOT of "Trading Places".

The only thing I'd observe is how much the rank of school doesn't predict being successful. A students become law professors; B students become Judges, and C students make all the money hahaha!

And because "hot" was the first adjective she used to describe her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Life can't be a pinata.

I just found my new favorite saying. Thanks, PP.

Life sure *can* be a pinata, pp. what the hell? you're huffing and puffing away at life, you're blindsided, then shit explodes on you, but at the end, there can be sweetness. life sure is a pinata.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to Real Life.

My first eye-opener was when my oldest was born with special needs. Parenting this child is extremely draining. My second eye-opener was realizing my husband has Asperger's, which explained his odd social disconnect and lack of empathy. Then he couldn't find a job for 18 months, and that nearly wrecked out marriage.

Silver lining: you can always learn something from your troubles - how to be persistent and courageous, and above all how to be a tolerant person and better human being.

Good luck, and hold your chin up high.