Moved to the burbs and I hate it

[Anonymous]

How old is your kid? Once they're in school proper, it gets easier. I didn't move out of a walking zone until my kid was out of toddlerhood, and I still have a few things we can walk to. Now the idea of doing something in a car isn't so horrid and you can get out and about more yourself.

[Anonymous]

When I moved to the burbs, it took me a year to get used to it, and another year to actually like it. It's a huge culture shock. Give it time. Once your child is old enough, go to story time at the library or strike up a conversation at the playground. Once you make those social connections, it makes a world of difference. Keep a positive attitude, and hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were like you until we encountered all of the following while living close to Columbia Heights:

- Cars broken into multiple times
- Neighbor murdered in a nearby alley
- Next-door neighbors ranged from noisy college grads to gang members
- Man on block arrested for threatening POTUS
- Spouse was confronted by man exposing himself in DC public library
- Syringes left on playground at local ES
- Drunks urinated in alley behind house
- Local teenagers hung out on corner smoking and selling weed
- Teen moms would ask us to look out after their kids for an hour, and come back five hours later
- Kids who'd played together as toddlers stopped seeing each other because they were all at different pre-schools and privates

Dunno, maybe you have to experience some of that first-hand to appreciate people who take care of their yards and decorate for XMas.

16:24 here. give or take a few bullets, this was our experience too.

To be clear, we didn't HATE DC, despite all of this, as there were still things we liked. We simply reached our personal "Goodbye to All That" moment.

[Anonymous]

You're pretty much a loser, OP.

a
real
loser

Anonymous wrote:
My husband and I lived in a tiny 800 square foot condo in Columbia Heights for 10 years and I absolutely loved it – loved the neighborhood, loved the walkability, loved the people, loved running into friends everywhere, loved the feel of tons of stuff happening right outside my front door. Place was tiny but cozy and I loved it.

Then we had a baby and ran out of room.

We looked for over a year with a very low budget, and 6 months ago in the Maryland burbs we found a decent-sized place in great condition, a mile from a metro. And I HATE IT. I hate not seeing anyone on the street, I hate being in a silent neighborhood surrounded by car-choked streets, I hate being in the freaking car ALL THE TIME, I hate spending time on the stupid lawn, I hate f’ing pressure to decorate for Christmas, I hate having nothing but old white people as neighbors.

Is it insane to try renting out this place and moving into a rental back in the city? It has only been six months, but I just despair about spending years of my life in this place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were like you until we encountered all of the following while living close to Columbia Heights:

- Cars broken into multiple times
- Neighbor murdered in a nearby alley
- Next-door neighbors ranged from noisy college grads to gang members
- Man on block arrested for threatening POTUS
- Spouse was confronted by man exposing himself in DC public library
- Syringes left on playground at local ES
- Drunks urinated in alley behind house
- Local teenagers hung out on corner smoking and selling weed
- Teen moms would ask us to look out after their kids for an hour, and come back five hours later
- Kids who'd played together as toddlers stopped seeing each other because they were all at different pre-schools and privates

Dunno, maybe you have to experience some of that first-hand to appreciate people who take care of their yards and decorate for XMas.

16:24 here. give or take a few bullets, this was our experience too.

To be clear, we didn't HATE DC, despite all of this, as there were still things we liked. We simply reached our personal "Goodbye to All That" moment.

Same.here and no regrets. Focus on the present, not the past.

[Anonymous]

Not all neighborhoods in the suburbs are the same. The "newer" communities tend to have young families with children. I love my Gaithersburg neighborhood. Tons of kids around the same age. It's the type of community where the neighborhood kids run around every day in the summer while the parents chat with one another. Lots of neighborhood parties too. You have to open up to people OP. You're not going to meet people with your "I'm better than you since I'm a city hipster" attitude.

[Anonymous]

I don't think OP is a loser at all. My family wouldn't have been happy with her choice, either.

I don't know how to advise you, though, OP. Whether you should, at this point, move/sell/buy/rent out all depends on your financial bottom lines. You may find it's harder to get tenants for your suburban place, and they won't be willing to pay as much as you may need to rent a little something in a place you like better.

But kids + apartments = perfectly good. Works for a lot of us. The idea of families needing "SPACE, OMG!!" is very culturally defined, and OP should hear that plenty of us grew up in cities where urban apartment living is very normal.

[Anonymous]

It's no longer about you getting free drinks at the club from guys trying to bang you.

[Anonymous]

I would feel the same way, OP. I hope you figure things out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is a loser at all. My family wouldn't have been happy with her choice, either.

I don't know how to advise you, though, OP. Whether you should, at this point, move/sell/buy/rent out all depends on your financial bottom lines. You may find it's harder to get tenants for your suburban place, and they won't be willing to pay as much as you may need to rent a little something in a place you like better.

But kids + apartments = perfectly good. Works for a lot of us. The idea of families needing "SPACE, OMG!!" is very culturally defined, and OP should hear that plenty of us grew up in cities where urban apartment living is very normal.

+1
I grew up in Europe with 2 siblings in a ~1000 sqft apartment which was considered very large. My parents were the most modest and down to earth people ever - they would despise hipsters if they cared to learn who those were. It is totally possible to raise children in small (by American standards) apartments and preferring to do so doesn't make one immature or a irresponsible parent (what??).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all neighborhoods in the suburbs are the same. The "newer" communities tend to have young families with children. I love my Gaithersburg neighborhood. Tons of kids around the same age. It's the type of community where the neighborhood kids run around every day in the summer while the parents chat with one another. Lots of neighborhood parties too. You have to open up to people OP. You're not going to meet people with your "I'm better than you since I'm a city hipster" attitude.

I agree; I live in the same type of neighborhood as the PP. OP sounds like she is determined not to like where she lives. If she would get out and meet some people and become a part of the community, she may change her mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's no longer about you getting free drinks at the club from guys trying to bang you.

See that's just stupid and why people hate the suburbs.

[Anonymous]

OP, do what makes you happy. Remember, misery loves company. I remember when I told someone that I was applying for a new job. They told me I was selfish and how could I put that kind of stress on my family. It was so unfair to my daughter, never mind that I was increasing my household income by 30 percent, and would have a two mile commute. Like I said, misery loves company. Go after your dream.Rent the house out, you can always move back. Sell if you have to.

[Anonymous]

I knew when I clicked on this thread that it would be accompanied by the sounds of the world's tiniest violin playing the world's saddest song.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is a loser at all. My family wouldn't have been happy with her choice, either.

I don't know how to advise you, though, OP. Whether you should, at this point, move/sell/buy/rent out all depends on your financial bottom lines. You may find it's harder to get tenants for your suburban place, and they won't be willing to pay as much as you may need to rent a little something in a place you like better.

But kids + apartments = perfectly good. Works for a lot of us. The idea of families needing "SPACE, OMG!!" is very culturally defined, and OP should hear that plenty of us grew up in cities where urban apartment living is very normal.

+1
I grew up in Europe with 2 siblings in a ~1000 sqft apartment which was considered very large. My parents were the most modest and down to earth people ever - they would despise hipsters if they cared to learn who those were. It is totally possible to raise children in small (by American standards) apartments and preferring to do so doesn't make one immature or a irresponsible parent (what??).

It's not the lack of space that gives city parents - specifically, Washington, DC parents - the reputation for irresponsibility. It's the atrocious quality of schools. If DC schools were on par with neighboring suburban counties, no one would bat an eye on families with children living in apartments. It's hypocritical of you to pretend otherwise. Did your quaint European city had good schools or what?