Moved to the burbs and I hate it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You would hate it worse raising a growing child in a 800 sq ft home. I had one child in a 1300 sq ft home and nearly went nuts with the lack of space. Do you really want to raise your child in a closet?

That's YOU not the OP, we all have different priorities.

[Anonymous]

Why are all the mean posters from the suburbs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are all the mean posters from the suburbs?

The OP's post was rather mean, if it's to be taken seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are all the mean posters from the suburbs?

because OP is painting the suburbs with too broad a brush.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you don't have enough HHI to do city living right with kids, OP.

Maybe it's not too late to switch careers. I'm sure, what with your charismatic vibe and can-do spirit, managers would be fighting over you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what now?

Move to Frederick and get 70% of the DCUM Dream (albeit with an 90-minute commute)?

Stay put? I'm guessing you have little in common with your neighbors. That can't be fixed, but surely there's a MOMS club or something you can do (church, social club, etc.)

Move back to Columbia Heights and find the limitations of city living (terrible schools, cramped space, petty crime that might suddenly become more annoying, etc.)?

16:15, I think you've got two conflicting desires here in OP, and -- let's face it -- in most DCUM regulars.

"Pretend to be 23 the rest of your life" vs. "Doing the 'mature' thing and moving out to the burbs."

The "moving to the burbs is mature" thing has been drilled into us by parents/relatives/suburbanites who're still stuck in Barry-era stereotypes.

I suspect the ones who slink off to Urbana/Ashburn/Stafford/Crofton (or live 70% of the DCUM Dream in Frederick/Leesburg/Fredericksburg/Annapolis) go away, never to return.

She could move to Upper Caucasia, join DCUM Team Smug, and still get the satisfaction of telling everyone who will listen that she lives in "DC proper," but it too would be heavy on the old white people for her taste. That said, it's a way to live in DC with none of the "undesirable" elements, such as schoolchildren who aren't, ahem, "motivated." Isn't that the euphemism they're using these days?

I guess she can't afford that though.

That is the ideal. Those bastards have easy 20 minute commutes (25 in traffic; 10 without). They have yards, space and many urban amenities. (Have you been to the Palisades Spray Park? It's like DC Disneyworld.) Plenty of restaurants nearby and greenery. Oh the greenery. So many trees and parks in Upper Caucasia. (The city, for it's part, picks up leaves three times each year and they lay down a preventative layer of salt on the streets weeks before the first snowfall.) The mailmen leave your packages out front, on your doorstep, without any concern for theft.

[Anonymous]

Palisades has a Fourth of July Parade. Spring Valley has a Halloween Block Fest, with a firetruck in attendance for the kids to climb through. Are all open to all and exist on donations only.

So many kids too. Many like to think of Upper Caucasia as old, but it's not anymore. Some neighborhoods have entirely turned over and the remaining ones are turning over en masse too.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mean poster who lives in the District. We had enough money though to get it "all." However, we are white. Which in OP's mind is the equivalent of being a pedophile. That rubbed me the wrong way, so I chose not to be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the posters who called the OP out as a whiny, spoiled brat. Would not want her as my neighbor ANYWHERE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were like you until we encountered all of the following while living close to Columbia Heights:

- Cars broken into multiple times
- Neighbor murdered in a nearby alley
- Next-door neighbors ranged from noisy college grads to gang members
- Man on block arrested for threatening POTUS
- Spouse was confronted by man exposing himself in DC public library
- Syringes left on playground at local ES
- Drunks urinated in alley behind house
- Local teenagers hung out on corner smoking and selling weed
- Teen moms would ask us to look out after their kids for an hour, and come back five hours later
- Kids who'd played together as toddlers stopped seeing each other because they were all at different pre-schools and privates

Dunno, maybe you have to experience some of that first-hand to appreciate people who take care of their yards and decorate for XMas.

16:24 here. give or take a few bullets, this was our experience too.

[Anonymous]

If you're anything like my mother, it won't get better, OP, it'll get worse. My father HAD to have a house after my sib and I reached a certain age, but my mother was happier in town. My Grandmother still lived in town, and my mother and I loved it. By comparison, the suburbs sucked. I landed in DC, and my sib ended up in Arlington.

I don't care about how "immature" other posters believe you are, the burbs are not for everybody. DH and I live happily in town, raising my kids in Capitol Hill. We sacrifice space, but our kids are happy sharing a room and enjoying the parks.

Hope you find a compromise that works for everybody.

[Anonymous]

It all comes down to the schools for us. Our kids education was more important that us being able to walk to The Heights.

[Anonymous]

Sigh....I am one of your old white neighbors. Life really doesn't change because you move and I really doubt you ran into all your friends right around your condo in DC. all the time. We've all been there- it's not really like that. You are simply are one of those " I'm too cool" people who is ashamed to admit that you sold out to the suburbs. Except you didn't sellout- you only think you did. I had a pretty vibrant family and friend life while living in the suburbs with young kids, and I also had a great one living in a remote rural village in Europe. Yep- it's not about where you live, it's not your clothes, it's not your 'cache" it's YOU. Are telling me that there are NO other people with kids anywhere around? There certainly are more kid- friendly activities in the suburbs. I really doubt you will feel the need to hang out in bars and coffee lounges anymore. Perhaps your issue is that you are too immature to be a parent- you still see yourself as a hipster.

Now walk in your living room, play a record (I know you play records, lady) and dance with your kid. Next, find a mommy and me group, a dance thing, or a playgroup, and try to brush off your affectation before you go. And don't forget to talk to your neighbor- yeah- that 50 something lady (me), she might be one of your best neighbors and she can tell you who to hire to clean the gutters, where to buy this or that, AND introduce you to other neighbors. You are not on different planets.

[Anonymous]

17:50 nailed it.

I am a 30s something in the MD burbs and please know that not all "youngsters" look down on their older neighbors. I found such neighbors to be just the kind of people you want as neighbors---friendly, helpful, and down to earth.

[Anonymous]

Is your house in a good school district?

Maybe you should rent it out and move back to the city and reassess when the kid is four or five.