Crazy Commute - is it worth it to go to school of choice????

[Anonymous]

WOHM's in the same schools do work things out so easily. If one has an early meeting a couple of days a week they drop them off at the house. When the other needs a pick up due to late appointments they work it out. It really is all about being friends. If a parent needs an everyday drop off and pick up better to hire someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The attitude that SAHM are just waiting to drive your kid for you is amazing.

I agree that SAHM will make a big deal about it and WOHM will probably be more helpful.

[Anonymous]

Plus what about the liability of having another kid in your care just for some gas money? no way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If DC gets into our top pick for him, we'll have 2 kids at different schools with round-trip (home-school-work-school-home) totaling 20 miles! In DC/MD rush hour traffic! Has anyone else faced a bear of a commute and enrolled their child despite the commuting inconvenience? If so, did it work out for you? We're a little attached to our house right now, so not liking the idea of moving. Maybe that priority will shift with oppressive logistics.....

I personally would not do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitude that SAHM are just waiting to drive your kid for you is amazing.

I agree that SAHM will make a big deal about it and WOHM will probably be more helpful.

It's not a SAHM vs. WOHM thing. It's reciprocral vs. not reciprocal. You wouldnt ask another WOHM to take your kid every trip because you know she doesnt have any more time than you. So you shouldnt ask that of a SAHM either. Asking either to help out in a jam is just fine, as long as you too are willing to help out (even SAHM need help sometimes!).

[Anonymous]

I'm a sham mom and would drive your kid up and from school as a job, as in you paid memory than gas money for the work and commitment. Not every day every time as a favor.

[Anonymous]

I don't do carpools. I actually like driving into school with my kids..it's this special close time of day and I don't want to give that up. Afterschool is also hard with a variety of activities. What I am happy to do and have done is help up on situational basis..family is going out of town or one child is sick and mom wants to be home. That sort of thing is fine and I never worry about the reciprocal thing..I am good being a helper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitude that SAHM are just waiting to drive your kid for you is amazing.

I agree that SAHM will make a big deal about it and WOHM will probably be more helpful.

It's not a SAHM vs. WOHM thing. It's reciprocral vs. not reciprocal. You wouldnt ask another WOHM to take your kid every trip because you know she doesnt have any more time than you. So you shouldnt ask that of a SAHM either. Asking either to help out in a jam is just fine, as long as you too are willing to help out (even SAHM need help sometimes!).

I WOH and I always go on trip and if a SAHM did not have a babysitter I would take their child. I always reciprocate because it is not the complicated for us. H drives in, I drive home. My job is flexible and I can work short hours if i need too. But SAhM get ultra sentitive when asked to help out. WOHM don't, they just simply say they can't do it if they can't do it, they don't pull out the score card.

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP - carpooling isn't realistic in our situation, fwiw. It would probably just make things more complicated given the direction we're coming from, where we work etc. Unlikely to find a lot of overlap with other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP - carpooling isn't realistic in our situation, fwiw. It would probably just make things more complicated given the direction we're coming from, where we work etc. Unlikely to find a lot of overlap with other parents.

OP, what's the marginal increase in your drive distance by adding the school? In other words, how many miles is your round-trip commute to work without the school, as compared to how many miles with the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitude that SAHM are just waiting to drive your kid for you is amazing.

I agree that SAHM will make a big deal about it and WOHM will probably be more helpful.

I think that is hilarious Those SAHM just won't help you WOH moms because they are just so mean...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP - carpooling isn't realistic in our situation, fwiw. It would probably just make things more complicated given the direction we're coming from, where we work etc. Unlikely to find a lot of overlap with other parents.

OP, what's the marginal increase in your drive distance by adding the school? In other words, how many miles is your round-trip commute to work without the school, as compared to how many miles with the school?

I've done the mileage again. Adding the school gives us a round-trip commute of approximately 25 miles. Choosing an alternate option (or moving) could reduce the commute to closer to 16 miles, although if we moved the commute would take us on some roads with pretty heavy traffic (so it's not clear exactly how much we will benefit time-wise by the reduced mileage, although we would definitely benefit somewhat).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:find families which whom to carpool.

Not OP, but in a carpool scenario, is anyone ever willing to do a one-driver carpool?
Meaning, say you're a SAHP in MD or VA who has always driven your child into DC everyday. I WOH full-time. If I paid you for gas, would you be willing to drive my child with you on a daily basis?

Maybe if the SAHP was really in need of money or extremely generous. I'm neither, I guess, and would rather just deal with my own kids.

And for what? $4 a day? No thanks.

Exactly! And, face it, it someone has the means to SAH in this area it is b/c they CHOSE to and can AFFORD to. No SAHM I know needs a few bucks from a worker.

Thanks. Good to know that's the thought process around here.
Growing up, I went to a private school on the other side of town and a nearby SAHM often drove the child of another family in addition to her own. She was going to school anyway, and it was no extra hassle. Obviously the other family had to handle transportation on their own when this mom couldn't do it, but most days it was no big deal for her to do it.

If you were a neighbor,sure I would do a carpool. But to do a carpool means I have to factor in the time it takes to get to your house and wait for your kid to be ready and get in the car. This can add significant time esp with traffic in this area and my kids may be running late so every second counts.

If you live next door or a few doors down, and could be reliable for being ready ON TIME then it isn't such a big deal. But just assuming your house is on MY way to school and therefore is a no brainer to have me taxi your kid, um NO.

Carpools usu work both ways, if it is one sided that is just bad manners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who was looking at private schools for her child. She believed that it was her responsibility to pick the right school for him, and that should be her focus. Things like distance/ease of commute, whether there was a bus that picked up in the neighborhood, etc., where factors that were not about what was best for her son and so they should not be considered when making the decision.

A few years in, she told me that if she were making the decision again, the very factors she had dismissed as not important were where she would start her process of elimination. So her search for the "perfect school" would not start with "what's best for DC?" but with, "what's most convenient for our family and among THOSE choices, what's best for DC?"

This really stuck with me. It really is okay--even right--to start from the premise that your DCs' schools should work for your family.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP - carpooling isn't realistic in our situation, fwiw. It would probably just make things more complicated given the direction we're coming from, where we work etc. Unlikely to find a lot of overlap with other parents.

OP, what's the marginal increase in your drive distance by adding the school? In other words, how many miles is your round-trip commute to work without the school, as compared to how many miles with the school?

I've done the mileage again. Adding the school gives us a round-trip commute of approximately 25 miles. Choosing an alternate option (or moving) could reduce the commute to closer to 16 miles, although if we moved the commute would take us on some roads with pretty heavy traffic (so it's not clear exactly how much we will benefit time-wise by the reduced mileage, although we would definitely benefit somewhat).

If you get admitted to the school, then ask them for names of others in your area, so you can talk about carpool options. That can be a factor in your decision. But wait on all this until you're admitted -- don't put cart before horse.