Disagreements about money, responsibility, childcare- help!

[Anonymous]

OP, my brother-in-law has been a professional firefighter for 15+ years. He has never, ever made that his only job. He has had a side business every step of the way since they have so much time off. First it was a moving company, then an antique shop, then he discovered a talent for and love of photography and parlayed that into a successful wedding photography business, one that he was able to sell to an investor. And he still has lots of time for his family, vacations, etc. Your husband needs to try harder.

[Anonymous]

Question for the original poster:

Is your husband in law enforcement?

[Anonymous]

I'm the one who asked if your DH was in law enforcement. I knew it had to be something in that line of work. Anyway...

My husband, like yours, is working his dream job but it comes with little pay. He used to work 4, 12 hour shifts, which located and was mainly on mid-night shift. He isn't on a particular shift now but works around the clock. I stay at home with our children. I am in school, however, and plan to return to work when the youngest hits kindergarten.

My husband works multiple extra shifts. He will work anything that he has to-- in order to make sure that the numbers work. There are days we go without seeing him. A real man provides for his family. I would *not* be okay with his lack of motivation.

[Anonymous]

^^rotated**

[Anonymous]

My husband and I both used to work freelance. We staggered our schedules, so like you, we didn't have to pay for much childcare. I think it's important to acknowledge that there is going to be more stress with that kind of set up. We worried a lot about finances, because it varied so much from month to month. There was also a lot more negotiation about work time and childcare time, since we shared the childcare. Since my husband worked from home, it often wasn't clear when he was working and when he was not working. However, I think it's important to appreciate the advantages as well. I really liked that we were both able to work and both able to spend significant time caring for our child. I miss that now that we have a more traditional arrangement. In your situation I think it's really important that you set enough time to communicate each week about how you will allot your time and money.