My Son Getting Bullied?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YOu can and should advise your son, but at this point, as a freshman in high school, he needs to be his own advocate. You can work with him to role play either with members f the school administration, or with the bullies directly, but you should not be intervening on his behalf.

This poster is completely wrong!

Your son is 14. Your son is a child. Your son is your responsibility. If your son could adequately advocate for himself he would not current be being bullied. It is your duty and responsibility as a parent to protect your children. If your son is being bullied it is your duty and responsibility to stop these verbal, cyber, and physical assaults against him NOW!!!

[Anonymous]

I asked my son what to do. He's 15. He said the problem is that your son is a freshman and he accepts it. He's already a target. My son said that your son must "jone" back. Meaning, talk about them. He should have lots of jokes for the other kids. He said that when they talk about fat kids, those kids always comes back with something worse. It's 14 year old boys being 14. He did say the WORST thing you can do is to get involved. It would make his life hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dad taught me to box. I took down the bully. 'Nuf said.

I wish your Dad's also given you some brains, but I guess one can't be lucky all the time.

OP, I feel for your son. Yes, he is definitely overweight, and maybe even obese, but come on, this is not the friggin' point! Please talk to the principal right away.

PP, are you serious? I just read the book The Male Brain. Pick it up. Dads tell kids to beat up the bully. Your tactics might sound wonderful and sweet, but I can tell that your son would be considered a complete punk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YOu can and should advise your son, but at this point, as a freshman in high school, he needs to be his own advocate. You can work with him to role play either with members f the school administration, or with the bullies directly, but you should not be intervening on his behalf.

This poster is completely wrong!

Your son is 14. Your son is a child. Your son is your responsibility. If your son could adequately advocate for himself he would not current be being bullied. It is your duty and responsibility as a parent to protect your children. If your son is being bullied it is your duty and responsibility to stop these verbal, cyber, and physical assaults against him NOW!!!

If your son, not daughter, gets bullied, please let your husband handle it. You have NO clue about the culture of boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YOu can and should advise your son, but at this point, as a freshman in high school, he needs to be his own advocate. You can work with him to role play either with members f the school administration, or with the bullies directly, but you should not be intervening on his behalf.

This poster is completely wrong!

Your son is 14. Your son is a child. Your son is your responsibility. If your son could adequately advocate for himself he would not current be being bullied. It is your duty and responsibility as a parent to protect your children. If your son is being bullied it is your duty and responsibility to stop these verbal, cyber, and physical assaults against him NOW!!!

If your son, not daughter, gets bullied, please let your husband handle it. You have NO clue about the culture of boys.

Gender is not a culture, dipshit. And some cultural norms among mini-communities, particularly among adolescents, are toxic and need adult intervention.

Bullying is NOT endemic in every high school. It is simply not. It is allowed to fester when adults do not foster an environment where it is unacceptable. Adult intervention IS necessary.

[Anonymous]

OK, so my 11 year old DD is being bullied. What do I do?

She does martial arts so she could totally fight back. I do worry that she'll get angry and throw a punch.

[Anonymous]

what exactly is happening? You say he is being bullied "according to him" but I can't get a read on what the behavior is in an effort to offer advice. The word bullying is being attached to everything so some examples would be helpful. I work in a school and we have a number of ideas we put into practice to help kids depending on the situations.

[Anonymous]

As a man let me say this, losing weight won't change anything for him. He has been identified as "weak" even if he walked in tomorrow with 2% body fat, they would find something else to bully him about. That's what bullies do. The comments about turning the other cheek, that's just a nice platitude that you've been taught. For god sake, look at the flame wars that occur on this site and tell me how many people can just ignore it and that's on an anonymous website that you can stop reading. Imagine that it happens to you everyday and that there is no escape.

You need to tell the principal and everyone else in the administration that you can. Not because it will change anything but because you need justification for the next part. You boys needs to physically defend himself your boy needs to use his size to his advantage. The next time the leader of the bullies attacks him he needs to go all out and hurt this kid. Sorry if that offends your sensibilities. He may win or he may lose but from then on the bully knows that your son is not prey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YOu can and should advise your son, but at this point, as a freshman in high school, he needs to be his own advocate. You can work with him to role play either with members f the school administration, or with the bullies directly, but you should not be intervening on his behalf.

This poster is completely wrong!

Your son is 14. Your son is a child. Your son is your responsibility. If your son could adequately advocate for himself he would not current be being bullied. It is your duty and responsibility as a parent to protect your children. If your son is being bullied it is your duty and responsibility to stop these verbal, cyber, and physical assaults against him NOW!!!

If your son, not daughter, gets bullied, please let your husband handle it. You have NO clue about the culture of boys.

Gender is not a culture, dipshit. And some cultural norms among mini-communities, particularly among adolescents, are toxic and need adult intervention.

Bullying is NOT endemic in every high school. It is simply not. It is allowed to fester when adults do not foster an environment where it is unacceptable. Adult intervention IS necessary.

HAHAHAHAHA! I hope you have you have a daughter, because if you have a son, he is going to get his ass kicked! It happens in every high school in every city. You just don't know.

[Anonymous]

This is a toughie OP.

I was bullied as a teen and I know if my parents ever stepped in I would have been mortified beyond belief. That is why perhaps, I never disclosed to them what I was going through because I didn't want them contacting the school on behalf of me.

That would have only made things much worse on my end.

I am so sorry your son is going through this. It really is the toughest part of being a teen~ager.

You can try talking to him about it and ask him if he would be okay if you contacted the school and maybe spoke to one of the counselors there. If he is okay w/that approach, then I would contact them and seek their advice what to do.

However if he wants you to stay out of it, I would try seeking some independent counseling for him to help him deal emotionally w/what he must be going through. Perhaps someone who specializes in teen issues, someone who has experience in dealing w/bullying issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here

As some clarification:

My son used to be pretty skinny, as of last dr appointment a month ago he is 184 lbs and 5'4, so definitely the little pot belly, not fat-fat kid described above.

Anyway, I will definitely talk to the principal, and maybe work on having him lose a few pounds, but I dont think it is a big enough deal to fret over.

5-4 184? He must look like a bowling ball. Where the hell were you when he was getting this big? Talk about childhood obesity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

As some clarification:

My son used to be pretty skinny, as of last dr appointment a month ago he is 184 lbs and 5'4, so definitely the little pot belly, not fat-fat kid described above.

Anyway, I will definitely talk to the principal, and maybe work on having him lose a few pounds, but I dont think it is a big enough deal to fret over.

5-4 184? He must look like a bowling ball. Where the hell were you when he was getting this big? Talk about childhood obesity.

The OP made a typo, the kid is 134 pounds. Read all the way through before you start hurling insults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so my 14 YO DS is a freshman at Wilson this year, and has been bullied a lot according to him. He stayed back a year early in his academic career for non-academic reasons (a health issue that has since been taken care of), so he is older then many of the kids in his grade, and he is also a bit on the bigger side of the weight spectrum (not enough to really bad enough to worry us too much) that also came partially from this health issue (Pretty much he was stuck in bed for a couple months eating, watching TV, and playing video game and gained 40lbs).

Anyway, according to him a group of kids have started bullying him over these issues, and I want to know if there is anything I can do.

Report it to the counselor and principal. Hopefully, if they're out of boundary students, then they will get kicked out and sent back to the neighborhood school. Maybe a little suspension, some community service or counseling will benefit these bullies.

Take notes and make a log of every incident. If anything gets physical or these bullies pose an immediately threat, then contact law enforcement.

Definitely try to address your son's weight and health issues. However, it is not his fault that he is bullied. There is no excuse for students to mistreat other students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

As some clarification:

My son used to be pretty skinny, as of last dr appointment a month ago he is 184 lbs and 5'4, so definitely the little pot belly, not fat-fat kid described above.

Anyway, I will definitely talk to the principal, and maybe work on having him lose a few pounds, but I dont think it is a big enough deal to fret over.

Are you bloody well kidding? My son is 14, 5ft 6in and he is 103 lbs. Your son is fat fat. He is.
Face it.

LOL and your kid is a fucking twig.

[Anonymous]

This is supposed to be a forum to help parents/families on and yet the back and forth here is anything but civil. OP it might be just as important to helping your son find an activity which would be a positive interest for him, build his self-esteem, get him moving and offer the chance of friendships with peers with similar interests. The could be via a high school service group, other type of high school club, community youth rec program in swimming, soccer etc., church service group etc. Another option would be to take on a "family" gym club membership and some do have good deals to try it out first to get him up, out and moving.

I think talking to the principal or guidance counselor to alert them to what is coming down is wise. At the same time at home it is important to see how you might be able to tailor your cooking to healthier meals, limit "junk food" for all. Also, consider what his home routine is like at night and on the weekend to find ways to see that he is engaged in positive things of interest to him rather than just watching tv or being on his own. I also think for any child/teen that parents need to be in control of the various electronic gadgets and access to them, especially if other teens are setting their sites on being "nasty" to one at their school etc.