My Son Getting Bullied?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Making the bullied kid change is NOT a solution. Then the bullies will just taunt him with things like "oh you were so scared of us you lost weight," thinking what else can we make you do? OP's DS may be well served for other reasons by losing weight but the bullies must stop. Bullies are EVIL F@&ers. And they likely learn some behaviors from their parents - quite possibly some of the posters here who are apologists for vile, unacceptable, and abusivs behavior. Report it to the administrator ABOVE the principals. Principals are often about statistics and don't want to acknowledge any problem. The HQ of school systems cares more because they see the whole systemic problem (and face the liability if bullies become physically abusive).

No, they won't.

Stop projecting.

The fat kid should lose some weight. Are you really arguing with that?

The two goals (lose some weight/rein in the bullies) are not mutually exclusive. But if the kid doesn't lose weight, he's going to face this again in other ways.

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure the 184 was a typo

[Anonymous]

Bullies do not change unless their behavior is stopped. Maybe they will stop with her DS. They'll move on to the kid who lisps, or the girl with thin hair, or the new kid who can't speak English, or the one who may be gay. Maybe PP decides that's not her problem.

But you see it is ALL if our problem. There are too many good, kind, smart kids who are driven to depression and worse by the hideous behavior of others, for which there should be ZERO tolerance. At the same time, with all the bully wanna-bes lurking around this website I am not surprised with the blame-the-victim, reaffirm-the-bully-supremacy, attitude shown here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Making the bullied kid change is NOT a solution. Then the bullies will just taunt him with things like "oh you were so scared of us you lost weight," thinking what else can we make you do? OP's DS may be well served for other reasons by losing weight but the bullies must stop. Bullies are EVIL F@&ers. And they likely learn some behaviors from their parents - quite possibly some of the posters here who are apologists for vile, unacceptable, and abusivs behavior. Report it to the administrator ABOVE the principals. Principals are often about statistics and don't want to acknowledge any problem. The HQ of school systems cares more because they see the whole systemic problem (and face the liability if bullies become physically abusive).

No, they won't.

Stop projecting.

The fat kid should lose some weight. Are you really arguing with that?

The two goals (lose some weight/rein in the bullies) are not mutually exclusive. But if the kid doesn't lose weight, he's going to face this again in other ways.

isn't this cyber-bullying? or at the minimum cyber-taunting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Making the bullied kid change is NOT a solution. Then the bullies will just taunt him with things like "oh you were so scared of us you lost weight," thinking what else can we make you do? OP's DS may be well served for other reasons by losing weight but the bullies must stop. Bullies are EVIL F@&ers. And they likely learn some behaviors from their parents - quite possibly some of the posters here who are apologists for vile, unacceptable, and abusivs behavior. Report it to the administrator ABOVE the principals. Principals are often about statistics and don't want to acknowledge any problem. The HQ of school systems cares more because they see the whole systemic problem (and face the liability if bullies become physically abusive).

No, they won't.

Stop projecting.

The fat kid should lose some weight. Are you really arguing with that?

The two goals (lose some weight/rein in the bullies) are not mutually exclusive. But if the kid doesn't lose weight, he's going to face this again in other ways.

isn't this cyber-bullying? or at the minimum cyber-taunting?

Um, no. Are you being deliberately stupid?

[Anonymous]

The PP who keeps harping on this kid bringing bullying on himself because of his weight is undoubtably someone with food/body image issues of her own. There's no other excuse for her to be so aggressive about this. I sure hope she isn't teaching her kids that its OK to bully a child who is overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bullies do not change unless their behavior is stopped. Maybe they will stop with her DS. They'll move on to the kid who lisps, or the girl with thin hair, or the new kid who can't speak English, or the one who may be gay. Maybe PP decides that's not her problem.

But you see it is ALL if our problem. There are too many good, kind, smart kids who are driven to depression and worse by the hideous behavior of others, for which there should be ZERO tolerance. At the same time, with all the bully wanna-bes lurking around this website I am not surprised with the blame-the-victim, reaffirm-the-bully-supremacy, attitude shown here.

More than 20% of kids say they have bullied others so we are talking about a lot of kids. Including kids who have been bullied - they bully other kids. Bullying is not so simple as just being bad evil kids. Kids especially in the middle school years get caught up in all kinds of social pressure and social politics combined with insecurity. They aren't all evil. My friend's son and one other boy in his class were the targets for bullying in their class. Instead of supporting each other, they then bullied each other. Neither are horrible kids - just kids feeling powerless, and insecure and desperate to gain social traction any way they could. Less than 5% of kids say they bully others on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PP who keeps harping on this kid bringing bullying on himself because of his weight is undoubtably someone with food/body image issues of her own. There's no other excuse for her to be so aggressive about this. I sure hope she isn't teaching her kids that its OK to bully a child who is overweight.

No, I'm not. And I'm not a "her."

I'm not saying that the bullies' behavior is acceptable. I'm not saying there shouldn't be an intervention. I'm merely pointing out that one way -- the BEST way -- to fix the problem is to lose weight. I really don't understand why you don't think this is a beneficial idea. Unlike the lisp example, at least weight is something the target can control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PP who keeps harping on this kid bringing bullying on himself because of his weight is undoubtably someone with food/body image issues of her own. There's no other excuse for her to be so aggressive about this. I sure hope she isn't teaching her kids that its OK to bully a child who is overweight.

No, I'm not. And I'm not a "her."

I'm not saying that the bullies' behavior is acceptable. I'm not saying there shouldn't be an intervention. I'm merely pointing out that one way -- the BEST way -- to fix the problem is to lose weight. I really don't understand why you don't think this is a beneficial idea. Unlike the lisp example, at least weight is something the target can control.

No it isn't the best way to fix the problem. You make it seem like a very simplistic formula: If child A is X, child B will bully him. Remove X, and the bullying stops. But bullying is never about punishing a specific attribute, its about provoking a response. if its not the weight, it will be something else.

There are all sorts of reasons why a teen who is overweight should lose weight (though you clearly have no compassion for a kid who has been bedridden. Are you truly this mean?) but preventing bullying isn't one of them.

Your hostility and aggressiveness is weird. the way you keep posting on this thread over and over again saying the same thing over and over again is weird. Your total failure to comprehend the situation is weird. I doubt you are a father but perhaps you are. You've got some kind of serious issue and its showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP about face it he's fat -- you're an ignorant fool. My 11 year old DD outweighs your son and could probably take him down easily because she's an athlete - she's a lot of muscle and tough as nails. Not a scrawny weed. You have no idea about this poster's son. Yet you feel compelled to insult her and him. Me thinks you were a bully once or you're protecting someone you know is one. Your reaction is frankly inhuman.

You must be proud.
Her kid is overweight.
My son does martial arts, he could mop the floor with your chubby daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so my 14 YO DS is a freshman at Wilson this year, and has been bullied a lot according to him. He stayed back a year early in his academic career for non-academic reasons (a health issue that has since been taken care of), so he is older then many of the kids in his grade, and he is also a bit on the bigger side of the weight spectrum (not enough to really bad enough to worry us too much) that also came partially from this health issue (Pretty much he was stuck in bed for a couple months eating, watching TV, and playing video game and gained 40lbs).

Anyway, according to him a group of kids have started bullying him over these issues, and I want to know if there is anything I can do.

Go to the principal. Get it stopped. It is not your son's fault. The bullies need to be stopped.

Also help your son to lose weight, but in the meantime, go to the principal with the names of the bullies.

[Anonymous]

To the PP who says good kids bully after they've been bullied --- that just proves the point that we need to stop bullying as best we can (and certainly not blame the victim). Some percentage of sexually abused kids will grow up to do the same. That's a sick by product of the root evil. And I stand by my prior post -- bullying is EVIL. When otherwise nice kids do it, they are engaging in EVIL behavior. And in those moments, they are EVIL, no matter how well they can dance in a ballroom later.

[Anonymous]

My Dad taught me to box. I took down the bully. 'Nuf said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad taught me to box. I took down the bully. 'Nuf said.

I wish your Dad's also given you some brains, but I guess one can't be lucky all the time.

OP, I feel for your son. Yes, he is definitely overweight, and maybe even obese, but come on, this is not the friggin' point! Please talk to the principal right away.

[Anonymous]

OP Here

I meant 134lbs, not 184. No idea where the 8 came from. We are working towards maintaining this weight and dealing with it as much as he wants to, I'm not about to push him to lose weight if he does not want to. I was quite large as a kid and teen, and I realized a long time ago that unless I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to lose and maintain my own weight.