Who pays - you or parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those saying people who let their parents or in-laws pay are losers have never been out to dinner with my FIL. He even insists on paying for MY parents if we are all together. I think it fits his self-image or something. DH and I have been worn down over the years - there are only so many things you can fight!

FIL had paid for several dinners this year at the beach so one night we planned to treat everybody. He insisted on throwing his card in, too. So it was me, DH, our two kids, my parents and my in-laws. I whispered to the waiter to put 3/4 on my card and 1/4 to my FIL's since he insisted (my dad listened when I said no!). I think it hurt his feelings because he made some long comment the next day about how when he is with his brothers they all throw a card in so he is used to doing that. Oops.

Ok, well, can you imagine if he was just as adamant about never paying for himself or treating people?
Welcome to my world.
We expect a healthy sized inheritance but boy are they not enjoying their 60s, 70s and 80s being cheapskates and putting family and friends in awkward situations.... (Ie. no, I won't come to your wedding, who would we stay with for free? No, I won't rent a car, ever. No, lets not eat out again, that $60 Ethiopian food experience for 4 adults was too costly. No, lets not eat in old town in the way to my Vernon, lets picnic, go buy a big cooler, now.).

[Anonymous]

My parents always pay (they make a bazillion times what we make). I would be happy to pay, but they won't hear of it.

We always pay when out to dinner with the in laws - in that case, we make a bazillion times what they make, and we're happy to do it so we can all go out.

[Anonymous]

If my father were still alive, he'd insist on treating us because he was just a nice guy like that. But since my mom was widowed early in life and lives on a budget, she treats 1/2 the time and we treat the other 1/2. And if she's paying, we'd never dream to suggest anything fancy or expensive. It's usually family-casual restaurants where we end up ordering burgers or pizza. My ILs work hard but barely make any money. If we go out, my MIL expects us to pay because we make more money than her. It's gotten to the point where she doesn't even bother pretending to reach for her wallet.

[Anonymous]

we always pay. They did their job. Their income is lower than ours. What makes you think that you (your sister) can keep mooching off your parents? Sad.

[Anonymous]

We don't go out with my folks often, but when we do they typically pay and refuse our money when we offer. It's some kind of pride thing for them, I think. We took them to Jaleo once on our dime and it totally freaked them out, especially my dad, although that was partly because its a more expensive restaurant than they are used to. With my inlaws, we go halves. We also often pay for our siblings if we go out with them because they are still in school, although now that my brother is employed I'm thinking it wouldn't kill him to pony up for his meal once in a while...

[Anonymous]

Parents always pay, unless the children are doing very well. Then the children should always pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents always pay, unless the children are doing very well. Then the children should always pay.

Agree, otherwise don't go out. My adult children have decades of expenses with two young children, taxes going up, world uncertainty, etc. I would feel selfish making them routinely pay for my food and entertainment. Plus, I want to enjoy the money we've worked hard for and saved. My children want me to enjoy it as well, and part of that is dinners and trips with them! (Which we all split or we gladly pay!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we go out my parents pay. My mother in law never pays, even for herself... be it dinner, or a plane flight.

Same here. My mil is a 60 year old adolescent, never had a job, doesn't drive, expects everyone else to pay her way for everything. We are fine with picking up dinner tabs, etc but never vacation with her, it would totally be like having another kid along.

[Anonymous]

We always pay for our adult children and our grandchildren. While we can afford it, it would be nice if they offered every once in a while.

[Anonymous]

In-laws always pay. Except for the time DH cornered the waiter when he went to the "restroom" and paid. FIL still sat there for 10 minutes and refused to get up because he couldn't comprehend that we had paid already.

We gave up after that.