In a pickle over daughter and ivy college choice....am I overthinking this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the most transparent humblebrag I've ever seen, even on the Internet.

+1,000,000 and I have seen it work out...not accepted. NOK, dear.

[Anonymous]

Troll fail.

[Anonymous]

In a pickle....TROLL! FAIL.

[Anonymous]

OP, kids change a lot when they go to college. No reason to assume your daughter and this girl will remain close friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your DD still taking an SAT class in the fall of senior year? Didn't she get all that over with last year? My senior finished SAT prep last March. If she's taking the SATs again in October that means she must not have done well enough last year. I can't imagine there is an Ivy bound kid at any of the top schools who wouldn't have taken the SAT's last year. Something is fishy here.

Everyone is so quick to judge. She got a 2320 if you must know but her life dream was scoring a perfect score and she thinks she can. Don't ask. I spent HOURS talking her out of it but she used her own money to pay for this acceleration course....it was her decision and she is taking it again, many seniors do around here and in her school I would venture to say nearly all or most do.

My kids are in high school and college (an Ivy), and this is the only part of OP's story that rings true to me. Yeah, there are kids with 2300+ scores who retake the SAT in the fall of senior year. The rest sounds like a 1950s B movie.

[Anonymous]

Not at all unusual for seniors to take the SAT in the fall, at my sons school I would say at least half do, they have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

[Anonymous]

Look at it this way, if she dose not get in...your problem is solved, case closed. Maybe that would be a blessing.

[Anonymous]

Yes. you are overthinking it. Your daughter is not going to hang out with people she doesn't enjoy. Trust your daughter's judgment to pick her own friends. You can't engineer her social life now, and you can't do it when she goes to college. Privileged kids are everywhere, not just in the Ivy League schools. There are plenty of kids just like your daughter at the Ivy League schools and everywhere else. Don't you want your daughter to have privileged children? The Ivy League education will help her to achieve that kind of financial success. That is not to say that other schools will not help her achieve that success as well. Obviously, your daughter is super smart. Believe in her ability to make her own decisions about school and friends.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter isn't going to any Ivy League University...get over it. She'll be fine at Mont. Comm. College.

[Anonymous]

OP- She is smart enough to get into or even consider attending an Ivy, trust her intelligence on how to proceed once she gets there with regard to friends and a new social circle. Chances are she will thrive and find her own group with whom she has a lot of in common, maybe in her current school she didn't have those wide options as she will in college. Sounds like a cliche...but seriously just take a deep breath, relax let her apply to her dream school and allow her to work it out, she is an adult or almost one and she needs to start making life decisions, how else will she learn?

[Anonymous]

If your daughter wants to run in the circle of super wealth she can seek that out at any IVY or "gasp" state school. Sometimes it happens totally by accident, my freshman year roommate was the daughter of one the wealthiest members of the US Senate. Talk about money & power, dinner at the white house, trips all over the world and so on, she was and is in an entirely differnt world from me. But that connection helped me get an internship that propelled my career. You never know what can happen at college, let her pick her dream school and become her own person.

[Anonymous]

Let her live. Make her own decisions. Learn about consequences as a result of her actions. Learn first hand about people. Herself. And finally growing into the adult she is. Life is not about trying to determine their every move as they cross the bridge between childhood and adulthood (though we as parents want to do this)but instead just being there with a parachute in case they fall off the bridge. Let go Mom.

The best gift you can give her is freedom, independence and the belief that you trust her decision making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her live. Make her own decisions. Learn about consequences as a result of her actions. Learn first hand about people. Herself. And finally growing into the adult she is. Life is not about trying to determine their every move as they cross the bridge between childhood and adulthood (though we as parents want to do this)but instead just being there with a parachute in case they fall off the bridge. Let go Mom.

The best gift you can give her is freedom, independence and the belief that you trust her decision making.

Well said.
Trying to micromanage her relationships and experiences is futile. Who knows, by the end of this year she may be good friends with someone else.

[Anonymous]

It's not problem yet, and she may not get in. Or she may not choose to go. Have her apply to several schools so she was choices come May. Seniors change. She may want a very different school in May, different from now or January, etc. Otherwise I think you have some accountability here ~ you put her in this private school/high school environment and only she knows how to best navigate it.

[Anonymous]

Just a different perspective. We are a upper middle class family, two professional parents (my h and I). Very middle of the road for our area. Fast forward to my daughters first year to college (a top 5 university) and she soon finds our her roommate is the daughter of a major fortune 500 CEO. Someone nearly all of us would recognize.

Turns out they became very good friends, so much so that they became roommates again in their sophomore year and got off campus apt in their third and fourth year. In between thees years were various invitations to wonderful trips, and all kinds of incredible events that my daughter was asked to be a part of.

They graduated this past May. Without revealing too much information, thanks to her "close ties" to this family, her father was able to help my daughter in a huge way land a very prestigious job with a company most 20 year olds dream of working for. So....bottom line knowing people int eh right place (as long as you genuinely like them) does have it privileges!

Keep an open mind. I am sure she will be just fine.