Buying a first home - did you get the downpayment from your family?

[Anonymous]

No. We pinched pennies for 3 years then put down 20%, all our own. Our HHI was around $120-150k and we saved around $50k/yr, exactly enough for a DP and closing costs. (We had other savings too.)

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And honestly, it never occurred to me to ask them. Both DH 's and my parents have plenty of money. However, we would never accept money from them to purchase a home. If we were in a dire financial crisis, it would be different. But to buy a home? No. We are adults capable of earning our own way.

This is a noble point etc - but it basically says that SAHMs aren't adults, yes? Since they aren't "earning their own way?" Hope there aren't any SAHMs on here bragging about how "they" bought a house.

My earning power would not have exceeded the amount we would have to put towards childcare had I worked. Why? Because in spite of my college degree and a nice career in my early days, my husband's job required us to move every 10 months-2 years. No one wants to hire a person who they know is only here temporary. And so I contribute by staying at home with our kids, saving us childcare, commuting costs, eating out, etc. and by doing whatever needs to be done to ensure my spouse has a successful career.

I am also the one who manages the bills, runs the household budget and manages our savings. I find our home every time we move, and work hard to get us the best home, in the best schools, at below our budget. So yes, as a SAHM, I did contribute to buying our house.

[Anonymous]

No, my parents came to this country when I was a kid with nothing and were able to make a middle-class life for themselves. They both grew up overseas to parents that were farmers, so neither went to college or thought about saving up money for college while I was growing up, so I have a lot of student loan debt. They managed to buy a home and start a restaurant when I was a kid, which is where their money is invested right now.

They wish they could help out after hearing how other parents could put a large amount of money aside to be used either for college, or for a downpayment, but I know it isn't possible for them.

It seems we are slowly moving up the rungs each generation as all my grandparents have been picking their cherry and olive groves nearly their entire lives, and my parents worked in restaurants as a chef and hostess my entire life. I was the first in my family to go to college and, and just getting to where I am now was considered an accomplishment to them. I can only hope that I can continue to move up so that maybe I can be well-off enough to help my kids out in the far future.

[Anonymous]

My mother in law gave us $20K 15 years ago which we used to buy our first condo. We needed it, since we had a paltry $3K saved on our own. With her help we could manage 10% down, which was what was required then.

That condo appreciated enormously over a few years and gave us the boost we needed to buy a bigger home. I'm very grateful to my MIL for helping us buy when prices were still relatively low. Our incomes are much higher now, but so are prices, and our mortgage as a percentage of income is very manageable thanks to that early entry into the real estate market. $20K isn't a huge sum but it made all the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're making like $6k a month. You could spend $1,500 on rent each month and still have tons leftover. Where's all your money going?

I wish. It's $4500 take home after my taxes, thrift contribution (12% of salary + 8% match), life+health+dental+vision insurance. Also, I just hit this level of salary one month ago after a recent promotion. I'm also dumping a LOT ($700+ month) on student loans and didn't finish full-time grad school until I was 29. If it wasn't for grad school, I wouldn't have my very good job (got a 40% raise vs. my job before grad school).

I do have money saved up, but no way do I have $50K+ for the down payment (plus closing costs) for a mediocre condo.

Glad to hear you're contributing to your 401k (and what an amazing match rate!!). And totally understand about student loans. So you take home $4,500. You pay $1,500 on rent. Of course you have utilities, phone, that kind of thing. But how much of that $3,000 are you saving?

Right now after the promotion, probably around $1K per month. And yes, I need to up the ante more.

Prior to the promotion, I was paying off my credit cards from grad school (had a $6K balance). Glad to be done with that!

Long story short, I'll have more ability to save over the next two years due to the promotion and no CC balance. However, if I want really want to do the most damage, moving to a cheaper place would be the best bet. However, the commute is going to suck. :-/

So you're spending $2,000 a month on what? Yes, you should probably move to a cheaper apartment or get a roommate, but if you're going to need a car if you move, it might not make sense to move far away - it might actually be cheaper to stay and not have a car. Can you downsize to a smaller apartment or get a roommate or two (or three) in the same area? And then seriously look at where that other $2,000 is going. That's a lot of money for a single person with no car living in an apartment.

[Anonymous]

$10K. It was supposed to be for my wedding

[Anonymous]

Lots of good, honest discussion in this thread.

I also hang out with a lot of people from wealthy families who received their downpayment from parents (or their parents straight-up bought the condo or townhouse for their child in full). Hanging out with that crowd definitely warps your possibility of what "normal" people are doing, even in an expensive city like DC. Glad to hear others are working hard, like myself, at saving!

[Anonymous]

Where's the emoticon that rolls around laughing?

Got nothing, hence we didn't buy until early 30s. One thing that helped was living in a shitty cheap apt for two years while paying debt/saving deposit money.

[Anonymous]

Nothing, did it on our own like adults of yesteryear...

[Anonymous]

For all these people who said that they lived in "shitty" "run-down" "cheap" apartments, where were you located at that time? What kind of rent were you paying?

[Anonymous]

I sort of did. My grandfather died when I was 27 and because my mother (his daughter) had died years before him, her kids got her share of the money. I put about half of it - $38K - down on my first home from that money. I had to pay my own way through college and grad school, though, while most of my friends had parental help for their schooling, and all my spending money from the time I was 11 or 12 came from babysitting and high school jobs. So while I did have family help with the house, I've been pretty independent otherwise.

[Anonymous]

750K

[Anonymous]

My inlaws give DH $28k a year (the limit before estate taxes). We are currently saving for a house, so we joke that they are buying an extra bedroom a bit at a time. We don't count on the money or ask for it. If they skipped a year or quit it all together, we would not mind since we live within our means. So the extra money goes right in the house account.

[Anonymous]

i didnt save shit and got a low money down loan for 900k with 5% down VA