Buying a first home - did you get the downpayment from your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. And honestly, it never occurred to me to ask them. Both DH 's and my parents have plenty of money. However, we would never accept money from them to purchase a home. If we were in a dire financial crisis, it would be different. But to buy a home? No. We are adults capable of earning our own way.

This is a noble point etc - but it basically says that SAHMs aren't adults, yes? Since they aren't "earning their own way?" Hope there aren't any SAHMs on here bragging about how "they" bought a house.

[Anonymous]

So much judgement already and no one has answered yes tons of $ from mom and dad. I bet you won't get honest answers now. (Meaning people who did get help now won't feel comfortable joining with their comment)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Big fat ZERO. But I'm a local, not some privileged transplant whose parents set up an investment account for me and slid me $20K to $500K+ to buy something.

You can get 100% financing like I did, so don't worry. Just contact a local prosperity mortgage branch.

I'm a transplant and didn't get shit!

[Anonymous]

I think I will.

I am your age and DH is a few years older. I just had the conversation with my mom where she told me she and my dad plan to offer this within the year, and I have not told DH yet but I plan to gratefully accept it and am sure he will agree. We make low 6 figs combined, and can't afford to buy here any time soon without help. I know they can afford it so I do not feel guilty. We are watching most friends buy big expensive places on their huge salaries. Unfortunately, we don't have similar salaries.

[Anonymous]

No. My parents are poor immigrants, I'm glad they are self sufficient and didn't need me to support them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much judgement already and no one has answered yes tons of $ from mom and dad. I bet you won't get honest answers now. (Meaning people who did get help now won't feel comfortable joining with their comment)

I di!
- 14:05

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much judgement already and no one has answered yes tons of $ from mom and dad. I bet you won't get honest answers now. (Meaning people who did get help now won't feel comfortable joining with their comment)

I di!
- 14:05

Good! Our posts must have crossed because that wasn't visible when I posted mine. We got help too-combination of savings from my DH and $ that my grandmother had put away for me and been saved for years. We are very fortunate and have an affordable mortgage in a nice townhouse with a great school district and that would have been impossible to afford at the time around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Whah" should probably cover everything you need to say when you ask your dad for this money. Add in an "it's not fair" to seal the deal.

OP Here:

This is the best response, by far

[Anonymous]

We bought when I was 31 (two years ago) after living in a crappy apartment for 7 years to save up a downpayment of almost $100K (seriously, our apartment was old and run-down, but it was cheap and close-in). If you're making $100K, you can surely cut some fat out of your budget and save up -- we saved an average of $10K the years only one of us worked and the other went to school (and at that time, we were making more like $60K total), a lot more when both of us started working (and our HHI was about $110K at that time, now it's more). If we could do it even in the lean years, you can, too. I think you ARE wasting money on renting if you're spending more than $1200/month pre-kids (which I am assuming you are). Look for something dirt cheap and SAVE UP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. My parents are poor immigrants, I'm glad they are self sufficient and didn't need me to support them.

Same here. If anyone is asking anyone its not me asking them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a penny.

Same. Zero contributions from my family. If it was offered, I would've accepted, but I would never ask for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And honestly, it never occurred to me to ask them. Both DH 's and my parents have plenty of money. However, we would never accept money from them to purchase a home. If we were in a dire financial crisis, it would be different. But to buy a home? No. We are adults capable of earning our own way.

This is a noble point etc - but it basically says that SAHMs aren't adults, yes? Since they aren't "earning their own way?" Hope there aren't any SAHMs on here bragging about how "they" bought a house.

One of the dumbest responses I have ever read. And I'm not a SAHM. A mother (or father) who chooses to stay at home and take care of children and a home IS contributing. Unless of course you know of a place where free child care and free housekeeping is available.

[Anonymous]

I borrowed about $14,000 from my parents to supplement my down payment. Paid them back in a year - I had a roomate who paid me a (nominal) rent - I sent that directly along to my parents. Often, I had him write out the check directly to them.

That said, I don't get the vitriol heaped on people who DID get substantial help from parents. If the parents are able - why not? I certainly hope to be able to help my kids. (I like the idea of creating an investment account now, and forgetting about it.)

[Anonymous]

We got roughly $50K. Did not ask--it was volunteered. My midwestern parents were flabbergasted at the cost of housing in this area. We're a double-Fed family, so don't make a ton of money and and only spent $400K on our house in total. My primary interest was keeping the monthly payments low enough that we could swing daycare costs for 2 kids, so the add'l down payment $$ did help.

[Anonymous]

I'd love to have gotten help, but didn't (although my loser brother did). We started hardcore saving after we got married at 25 and had a pretty good sum by the time we bought our first house three years later.